COUNT Binface is considering standing in Scotland for the first time in the upcoming Holyrood election, the Sunday National can reveal.
The self-described “benevolent dictator” – who has become renowned for running in elections against prominent politicians such as Rishi Sunak and Sadiq Khan – said he “loved Scotland” and “would absolutely consider” standing in a seat in the Holyrood 2026 election.
“Scots have invited me to do so, it is tempting,” he told the Sunday National.
With the tenth anniversary of the first independence referendum fast approaching, Binface said he remained impartial but that he wanted what was best for the people of Scotland.
Whilst he could see a potential benefit of Scotland remaining in the UK so that it could “drag the rest of the UK towards a more progressive future”, he added that many of the pledges promised by the Better Together campaign never materialised because of Brexit.
“Brexit put a bit of a spanner in the old works because hey presto, it looks a little bit like the Better Together, anti-independence lot maybe sold Scotland a merry dance by telling them they’ll get all this, and then of course Brexit denied all that,” he said.
“Obviously the SNP have had a bit of a hammering at the polls, so the odds of independence happening in the near future are slim.
“If you’re pro-independence, I’d say bide your time, and if you’re pro-UK, I’d say this is your time to show that the UK’s got something to offer Scotland.”
Referring to his home galaxy, Binface said: “In my quadrant, in the Sigma quadrant, we’ve had planets going independent and separating from the rest of the Sigma union, so it can happen.
“Look at Sigma-9, which is where I rule as a benevolent dictator and everything’s hunky-dory,” he added.
If Binface were to create an independent regime on Earth, he told the Sunday National that he would fully enact his manifesto, which includes: £1 trillion a week for the NHS, “affordably priced croissants”, ministers’ pay to be tied to that of nurses for the next 100 years and for all water bosses to take a dip in British rivers “to see how they like it”.
'Scotland is the Athens of the north’
BINFACE is bringing his latest show Count Binface: Bindependence Day, which he has coined a “moral victory lap”, to Edinburgh and Glasgow as part of his debut tour.
It will be Binface’s first time visiting Glasgow, which he has “heard wonderful things” about.
“Although, I’ve been told to stay away from the School of Art if I don’t want to get burnt down to a crisp,” he added, referring to two fires which took place in 2014 and 2018.
“I’ve only been on Earth for seven years, so this is my chance to get to know this nation of yours properly.”
Binface called Scotland “the Athens of the north” as he reflected on his love for the country.
“It’s the most progressive part of the UK. Scotland has been a giant force for good for the nation of the UK since the Act of Union, it’s more than pulling its own weight, and that’s why I think it’s a fantastic nation.”
He continued: “The only issue with Scotland is trying to get into Edinburgh in August is virtually impossible, and if you do go, you don’t really meet anyone from Scotland.
“It’s very confusing for an alien. I turn up there and I’m like ‘oh, I love Scotland, I love Scots. Where are they all?'
“They’re all from London. They’re all confused about why an oat flat white costs less than £25.”
Binface added that he would have to get used to poor weather and “creepy critters” ahead of his visit to Scotland.
“I’ll have to watch out for midges if I do go down the West Highland Way,” he told the Sunday National.
“I’m not midge-proof. I might be in full battle armour, but they can get through anything.”
He added that he would also have to “waterproof” his suit before coming to Scotland.
“The icebergs are dumping rain all over the UK, so Scotland – yet again – is blazing a trail for the rest of the UK, in that wetness is being exported south," he said.
Count Binface: Bindependence Day will be in Glasgow on September 19 and Edinburgh on October 9. To find out more, click here.
