Perhaps one of the reasons that conversations about infertility are so difficult is that people are often encountering the experience for the first time without a shared language (Infertility: at a time when we need the right words, some are unable to find them, 21 March). In many ways, what people need is not just support, but a vocabulary for what they are going through. When someone loses a loved one, we have a go-to phrase: “I’m so sorry for your loss”. It’s not enough, but it’s something. With infertility, we don’t even have that.
When people don’t know what to say, they often reach for reassurance or positivity. This is usually well-intentioned, but it tends to reflect the discomfort of the person speaking rather than the needs of the person going through it.
