Chris McCausland, 46, was born in Liverpool and worked in web development until losing his sight as a result of retinitis pigmentosa prompted a change of career direction. He tried standup in his mid-20s and is now a regular on the comedy circuit and TV panel games. He hosts Radio 4 series You Heard It Here First, recently appeared on reality contest Scared of the Dark and is fronting Channel 4 travel series The Wonders of the World I Can’t See. This summer, he headlines the comedy stage at the Henley festival.
How did your new travel series come about?
One time on Live at the Apollo, I was moaning comedically about going on holiday and how I can’t be arsed with it. The production company, in their wisdom, said: “Maybe that’s a good idea for a show.”
You describe yourself as a reluctant traveller. How reluctant were you?
Very. I’m terrible in the heat and terrified of flying. I’m the worst person to sit next to on a flight because I can’t relax. I can’t see the normality around me, so my brain is constantly analysing every sound or every time the plane gets buffeted, thinking: “What was that?” It’s exhausting. These days I don’t drink either, so I can’t even numb my brain into submission on the flight.
What were your most memorable moments from the series?
Me and Tom Allen went gladiator training in Rome, which was phenomenally funny. I explain in the voiceover that this looks awesome because of slow motion and epic music. Then I say: “This is what it really looked like.” We show it at normal speed with no soundtrack and it’s just two unfit blokes grunting. Going to the Dead Sea with Guz Khan was amazing too. I can’t swim, so to float in water where it’s impossible to drown was quite an experience.
You go to Niagara Falls with Liza Tarbuck , who calls you a “grumpy scouse git”. Is that fair?
Yeah, probably [laughs]. That was great, partly because Liza’s so lovely and partly because it’s almost multisensory in how you experience the falls. While we were there, we did some axe-throwing. I hit the ceiling with a couple of axes but we survived to tell the tale. A blind bloke chucking axes was a health and safety nightmare. I was like: “Quick, let’s get this done before someone does a risk assessment!”
Does being blind heighten your other senses?
It doesn’t so much heighten them as make you pay more attention to them. That’s my problem with the heat. Because I’m not distracted by visuals, I focus more on what I’m feeling. If I sit on a beach, all I’m doing is thinking: “God, it’s really bloody hot.” We thought a key theme of the series might be what these places smell like. But the truth is, shit smells like shit and doughnuts smell like doughnuts. You don’t go: “Ooh, doesn’t the Acropolis smell Greek?”
Is representation of disability on screen improving?
Definitely. It’s great that there’s people coming through who are able to represent disability while also having the experience to do the job properly. There’s no point fast-tracking performers on to TV before they’re ready. In comedy especially, you need experience to be able to react in the moment. I joke that I’m an overnight success 20 years in the making. I’ve been gigging non-stop since my 20s, relentlessly hammering the circuit. So when TV opportunities come along, I’ve had the confidence to be myself and enjoy it.
What do the blind community make of your success?
It’s all been very positive. My attitude has always been to represent by not banging you over the head. I think the best way to represent a disability is to make people forget about it whenever possible. It’s always part of you. People are interested, you let them in and laugh about it. But if you can do a show where, say, 80% of it isn’t about being blind, that makes it more impactful and funnier when you do talk about it. I believe in representation within the mainstream. Integration rather than segregation. Don’t have a sketch show with five disabled comedians. Take those five disabled comedians and put them in five different shows. That’s the more powerful way.
You’re about to headline the comedy tent at the Henley festival. How do you find festival gigs?
I’ve tended to avoid music festivals. I once played Reading and you’re in this massive tent where people are constantly in and out. There’s so much movement, it’s difficult to deal with if you’re not visually aware of the crowd. But Henley looks a completely different ballgame – more respectful with a seated audience. I don’t think there’ll be too many people mashed off their face. I’ll do a mix of stuff from the last tour and some new stuff. Jack Dee and Jo Brand are playing too, which is good company to be in.
I’m intrigued to know what you think politicians look like. How do you picture Boris Johnson and Donald Trump, for example?
I know Boris gets described as quite dishevelled with messy hair. I imagine he’s got a Churchill-esque face: a bit chubby with droopy jowls. As for Trump, I’ve got this image of huge stuck-up hair but I might be thinking of that boxing promoter Don King. The two Dons have merged in my brain.
How was living in darkness for Channel 4 reality show Scared of the Dark? You seemed to bond with your housemate Paul Gascoigne…
I saw him last night, actually. As a football fan of my generation, I was overwhelmed when Gazza walked in [on the show], but he was shaking, having a panic attack. He’s had a lot of difficulties in terms of his history and the way he interacts with the world. Some of it’s self-inflicted, some of it’s being a victim of his own brain, some of it’s having his phone hacked and the shitty way he’s been treated. But he’s a very sweet, genuine guy and it was a privilege to help him get through that show. The whole experience was unexpectedly emotional. It seemed like a novelty premise initially. Nobody predicted how much depth it would turn out to have.
Who were your comedy heroes growing up?
I was a huge standup fan, so used to get videos every Christmas: Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Lee Evans. Then in 1996, I bought Eddie Izzard’s Definite Article from Woolworths because I liked the look of the cover. It blew my mind! For many years, Eddie was the pinnacle of comedy for me. She’s been an unconscious influence on my comedy in terms of challenging stereotypes and defying expectations.
Do you still get recognised by children from your CBeebies series Me Too!?
Yeah, but the shocking thing is, they’re all bloody grownups now. They’re adults with jobs, coming to my tour gigs. Sadly, it’s the most inappropriately named show. If you Google my name, one of the suggested options has always been: “Chris McCausland, Me Too”. Anyone who doesn’t know CBeebies must look at it and go: “Oh my God, what’s the dirty bastard done?”
You won Celebrity Mastermind with Pearl Jam as your specialist subject. Is that an accurate representation of your music taste?
Yeah, the 90s grunge scene was my genre. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains. As I’ve got older, my tastes got heavier, if anything.
What’s in the pipeline for you?
Next month I’m in [BBC sitcom] Not Going Out with Lee Mack. I was involved with the writing of that episode too. Another series of the radio show You Heard It Here First is probably on the cards. Otherwise, I’ll be getting the next tour ready for January. I’m keen to get back out there because I’ve got some great new material in my back pocket. And you never know when the next pandemic’s around the corner.
Your acting roles include Jimmy McGovern’s Moving On. Would you like to do more straight acting?
I’d love to. It’s quite a niche, though. I’m aware that I can only play someone who looks my age, is pasty white and can’t see what they’re doing! We’re at a stage now where disabled people can be themselves on panel shows or travelogues. Maybe the next step is casual representation in drama. Where the disability isn’t the driving force of the story, it’s just incidental to the character.
Is it true that you almost became a spy?
Yes, I got down to the last 30 out of 3,000 for MI5 selection. Eventually, I got refused because of my eyesight. Fair play. It’s perfectly acceptable to discriminate for the safety of the nation [laughs]. The job was identifying and targeting terrorist threats, which obviously you need to do in a limited amount of time. They were like: “Honestly, we just think it’s going to take you too long.” I was like: “OK, that’s reasonable. I don’t want that burden around my neck!”
• Chris McCausland plays at the Henley festival, which runs from 5 to 9 July. Tickets are now on sale for his 2024 UK tour, Yonks!
