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Nadia Breen

Co Down woman breaking baby loss taboo and changing 'expectations on women and motherhood'

A Co Down woman is hoping to break the taboo surrounding baby loss while changing attitudes on the 'expectations on women'.

Lucinda Scott from Hillsborough lost her child, who she named Sarah, earlier this month after ten weeks of pregnancy.

She is now fundraising to help the Royal Victoria Hospital and says her midwives "deserve the world".

Lucinda is also urging people to be mindful and sensitive when asking people if and when they are thinking of having children, along with all other questions surrounding motherhood.

The 35-year-old had a difficult first pregnancy with her daughter Sophie, who is now five, suffering from hyperemesis and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia.

She told Be: "Sarah is our second baby. I didn't have the best pregnancy with Sophie, I had everything going. I was off work for a long time. I had to be induced and didn't make it to full term.

"I was 35 + 5 when she was born and she was only 5lb 10. My body had just given up and I was given an emergency C-section. Because my epidural didn't work properly, they had to knock me out for it. I didn't come round to the fact that Sophie was born until after the first day of her life.

"I missed that. I had to have a blood transfusion after Sophie as well [but] I received fantastic care. I have nothing but gratitude for the NHS and what they do.

"It took me a long time to consider about trying again. It took a long time for me to say to my husband 'let's try again to create a sibling for Sophie'.

"Things didn't really happen and I drew a line under it after about a year of trying... but I am one of those people who think if it happens, it happens."

Eighteen months after deciding to try for another child, Lucinda found out she was pregnant in December 2021.

"We got through Christmas up until Boxing Day and then my sickness started. I had the hyperemesis. With Sophie, I got nine weeks to enjoy it without any sickness but I only made it to six [weeks] then.

"I then suffered a bad bleed and thought that was it.

"I went in [to hospital] and we seen a very strong heartbeat and this wee tiny, tiny blob," she said.

Following this, Lucinda said she continued to feel extremely ill, and on top of this felt worse as she had also contracted Covid.

In early February 2022, the 35-year-old lost her baby and she now wants to help others who have suffered a loss.

Lucinda said: "I felt a change in me and I knew the baby had just gone.

"Loads of people have came forward to me since I've set up a page. I've had messages from people, even random people [who have experienced child loss] and you wouldn't know they had.

"People don't want to talk about it and I get that it is a very private thing, and some people can't talk about it and some people won't talk about it, but I want to improve the services that are out there.

"There are so many people out there who have suffered loss."

Due to her experiences, the Co Down mum is urging others to be mindful.

Lucinda said: "People are like, 'when are you getting married? when are you having a child? when are you having your next child?' I think people just don't have a filter to think, 'can you get pregnant? do you want children?'

"I want to raise awareness that having a baby - it can be very hard to get pregnant, to stay pregnant, to be pregnant and it can also be hard to give birth.

"There is this automatic assumption I have found in society, maybe it's just me, but whenever you are a woman, you are growing up and you are being told, 'right, you get your qualifications', but then there is also the expectation for you to get married and have children.

"You do not know until you start trying to have a family, how hard it is.

"It's struggles that people do not necessarily know about."

In her daughter Sarah's memory, Lucinda wants to raise funds after the "amazing" support she received during her "gut-wrenching stay".

She wants to be able to buy kits for women who end up staying in the maternity hospital unexpectedly, to donate to the charity Aching Arms who bring comfort after baby loss, and to give a donation to the bereavement and early pregnancy units.

To find out more, visit Lucinda's Facebook page 'In memory of Sarah'.

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