Being pregnant isn’t easy! Along with the aches and pains, there is a whole lot of planning, preparation, and mundane life tasks to do as well. That’s why it’s important to have a village backing you, otherwise, things can get overwhelming.
But for some pregnant people, their spouses, who should be waiting on them hand and foot, are often the ones providing the least support. One woman faced this, so she decided to demand extra support from her brother-in-law because she had seen him do it for his wife.
More info: Reddit
Chef refused to cook meals for pregnant SIL who expected him to fill in for her inconsiderate husband
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Man cooked every meal for his wife, Sage, during her difficult pregnancy, her sister, Gwen was shocked that “a dude would do that for his wife” because her husband would never do that
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
When Gwen got pregnant, she told her BIL to cook for her just like he did for Sage, he found it inappropriate and told her she had a husband to do that and “her BIL doesn’t equal spouse”
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
Gwen complained to her parents after her BIL refused to help her out and they asked him if he could do it “occasionally”
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The guy refused because he wasn’t close to his SIL and felt that it was a lot to ask of him
Image credits: PrestigiousStudio475
Gwen got mad and told him that he was a jerk for “rubbing her husband’s lack of consideration for her in her face”
The Original Poster (OP) is a 31-year-old man who has been married to Sage, a 30-year-old woman, for the last 6 years. Sage has a 34-year-old sister named Gwen, but the couple aren’t really close to her. The poster shared that he’s a chef and that he cooked every meal for his wife during her difficult pregnancy so that she could relax.
During that time, Gwen exclaimed how she could not believe Sage was getting so much care and that a man would do so much for his wife. This is because Gwen’s own husband never cooked for her and was not so considerate. So when Gwen got pregnant, she expected her BIL to make her food just like he did for his wife. She told him to “try being a good BIL” but he found her request inappropriate and told her she had a husband to cook for her.
Both Sage and the OP could not believe Gwen’s request. The poster told commenters, “Sage said the same thing. She can’t understand marrying someone who is ‘too much of a man’ to cook for his wife, pregnant or not pregnant but especially while pregnant. I’d probably be expected to cook for her and all the kids she has over time.”
Studies on pregnant women and their partners reveal that the spouse’s support during and after pregnancy can have a big impact on maternal health and childbirth. It isn’t only the husband’s financial support that’s important but also his emotional and physical support. That’s why Sage and her husband were shocked that Gwen’s partner would not lift a finger for her during her pregnancy.
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Some commenters felt that Gwen probably did not know how to cook or do things like that for herself, which is why she probably asked for help. To which the OP replied, “that’s basically it. She never mentioned anything about being unable to cook like Sage was. Surely she would’ve if it were true.” The couple felt like Gwen’s request came out of the blue and they didn’t like how demanding she was being.
The author also said: “I think it was more she was jealous when I did it for Sage and spoke about it in a very weird way. But now she’s pregnant and she wants to benefit from it. But I’m not her husband and it’s not on me if she married someone who wouldn’t do that for her. I also don’t really think she needs it like she claims, or surely she would have brought that up to me or Sage when she tried to convince us. I think she just wants free food that’s handed to her ready to eat lol.”
Although it might be difficult to sympathize with such entitlement, research on pregnancy has found that a social support network is very important for the health of the mother. Feeling well-supported can help reduce stress, depression, and anxiety that the pregnant person might feel and even reduce the risk of birth complications.
Pregnant women who have a lack of support, whether emotional, physical, or financial, might experience more stress and feel helpless. That’s probably why Gwen felt like reaching out to her BIL to look after her, just like she saw him doing for Sage. It must have been tough to deal with a husband who did not want to do those things for her.
Waiting on your wife hand and foot during her pregnancy makes sense, but where do you draw the line if your sister-in-law is asking for the same kind of treatment? It doesn’t make sense for the man to have to pick up the slack of his BIL. That’s why the post went viral and received 15k upvotes and a lot of comments with people shocked at the woman’s audacity. Do you think it was fair of Gwen to ask her BIL to cook for her? Tell us your opinion in the comments.
Commenters were mad at the SIL’s entitlement and couldn’t understand why she decided to have children with a man who was so lazy
