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MIAMI — Don’t watch this tape. Bury it. Burn it. Purge it from the NBA archives. Heat-Celtics on Wednesday wasn’t a game—it was a rock fight. If it was a TV show, it would have been canceled at halftime. If it was a movie, it would have won a Razzie. ESPN would have been forgiven for cutting into the game for special coverage of Tom Brady’s (alleged) golf shot.
Boston won Game 5 of these Eastern Conference finals, taking a 3–2 series lead. Viewers lost. It was 19–17 Miami after the first quarter. It was 42–37 Heat at the half. Boston shot 25% from three through two quarters. That’s downright scorching compared to Miami’s 19%. The Celtics had nearly as many turnovers in the first half (10) as they did in all of Game 4 (11). Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown shot 19%—the worst combined field goal percentage in any half this season.