It is 9.15pm and Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne – formerly of The X Factor fame – are standing in a colourful makeshift house on the outskirts of west London. “What are we doing?” whispers Louis as he grips Sharon’s shoulders, who has the frozen, bewildered look of someone who agreed to briefly appear on TV again for a princely sum without fully thinking it through. And then, the two of them are ushered into a hideaway in another section of the Celebrity Big Brother house, where they secretly watch people such as Love Island’s Ekin-Su and the Princess of Wales’ uncle clink champagne glasses and make small talk around a sofa.
It is a strange start to an undoubtedly strange show – not least because it’s 2024. This is the era of carefully managed TikTok accounts, of Notes app apologies and glossy scripted “reality” television and Instagram accounts awash with branded content for jade rollers and vitamin gummies. We’re not used to seeing celebs – and I use that word fairly loosely here – talk in their natural intonation, with all the awkward silent gaps and self-conscious expressions that can come from any candid real-life interaction. At one point, the camera cuts to Louis and Sharon again. “I just like nice simple food,” says Louis, shrugging. “I can make tea and I like takeaways.” Sharon nods stiffly. “I can do baked potatoes,” she says.
