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Salon
Salon
Lifestyle
Mary Elizabeth Williams

Celeb buddy breakups are a lot like ours

Her romances may have been overanalyzed to death, but the very public, one might even say performative nature of Taylor Swift's relationship with her girl squad has long provided ample fascination for the gossip press and an unnerving amount of creative fodder for her lyrics. But lately, the once-tight bond between the Grammy winner and bestie Blake Lively appears to be cracking under the weight of the "It Ends With Us" debacle. And while the problems of blonde millionaire celebrities may seem a world away from the personality dramas going on within your own group chat right now, the fraught dynamics of female friendship — and the most effective methods of working through them — share a substantial amount of DNA. I've studied conflict resolution and survived enough of my own breakups to know that navigating the terrain when friends fall out is one of the hardest negotiations in life.

When, for whatever reason, close friends experience a rupture, there are a few different paths for reconciling. If the friends are in communication and willing, they could, for example, seek an interest-based approach. In this process, parties focus on the problem and what their proposed solutions are, over personalities. This type of negotiation can be effective during a classic friendship pain point when, formerly in sync, friends find their personal and professional paths diverging, leading to feelings of neglect. One person may, for example, be focusing on buying back the master recordings of her first six albums, while the other is enmeshed in rearing her four children with Deadpool.  

Swift and Lively have been friends for a decade, long enough to have shared and outlasted the iconic Rhode Island Hiddleswift era. The two have cheered each other on via their social media accounts, and strategically pap walked through multiple girls' nights out. Swift has been a godmother to Lively's three daughters, James, Inez and Betty, and used their names as inspiration for the love triangle narrative of "Folklore." But now, Swift remains at the top of her game. Lively, on the other hand, is still struggling under the reputational damage of the "It Ends With Us" fiasco, while her "Another Simple Favor" film has earned only a lukewarm response. 

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