Archaeologists over in the U of K believe they’ve found a 2000-year-old Roman dildo, which is a sentence I didn’t think I’d be writing today, but has nonetheless filled me with tremendous joy.
Never have I been prouder of my Italian ancestry. Sure, mortadella slaps but this? This is a whole different kettle of anchovies.
Per the Guardian, archaeologists first found the cocky-shaped object at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland back in 1992.
They thought it was a darning tool, which is essentially a thingymajig made of a hard material that you use to stretch and secure fabric when repairing holes or worn areas. At least this is what I can gather from Google — if I’ve angered any sewing stans, please accept my heartfelt apologies.
But alas, the woody-shaped hunk of wood has been reassessed by researchers at Newcastle University and University College Dublin and they do not think it was a darning tool.
“I have to confess … part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it’s a penis,” Newcastle University archaeology senior lecturer Rob Collins
when i get my hands on the roman dildo its over for you people
