Bring back hanging and real men: making the Tories great again, by Lee Anderson

And while we’re at it, let’s ditch food banks and the BBC as well. Photograph: Jeff Gilbert/Alamy

Make England Great Again or MEGA

And I mean England. For far too long we’ve wasted far too much time on trying to keep the rest of the United Kingdom happy. But think of it this way. Name me one thing that Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland has done to make an Englishman proud. Precisely. Nothing. All we’ve had is one long moan. “It’s not fair”. “We want more”. Well, I say enough is enough. Time for England to put England first. The sooner the rest of the UK understands that what’s good for England is good for them the better.