A bride has sparked a debate after she didn’t offer vegan food options at her wedding.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a woman explained how her friend and friend’s partner traveled from another country to attend her wedding.
She noted that months before the event, she asked her guests about dietary restrictions, which is when she discovered that her two friends were vegan. However, the bride confessed that she made a mistake when organizing the meals for her friends.
“Since my dinner included veggie options, I (wrongly) assumed the caterer could also do vegan ones, but when I asked one and half months before the wedding, I learned they couldn’t (I should’ve asked earlier, unfortunately some things came up and delayed our prep),” she wrote.
The woman noted that she then apologized to her friends and asked for ideas on how to handle the situation, with recommendations including that the bride cook or buy something from a supermarket for her friends to eat at the wedding. However, she said that things took a turn when her friend ultimately decided not to go to the wedding over the lack of vegan food options.
“The conversation turned quite cold, and the next day she said she decided not to come to the wedding, or to the bachelorette that was happening the following week (even though there was no catering issue there),” she explained. “She said her decision was final and we could speak after the wedding, as she didn’t want to upset me before the day.”
She noted that she reached out to her friend later, in order to gain some understanding about the decision to skip the wedding. “[My friend] said she found it disrespectful that I didn’t have a suitable vegan option for her and her partner so close to the date, even though they told me with plenty of notice,” the former bride added.
She then acknowledged how she “felt extremely hurt and blindsided” by her friend, since she felt like she didn’t have “a chance to find a solution” to the issue.
“I kinda understand not coming to the wedding (even though I’m vegetarian and attended plenty of weddings that didn’t have veggie options, but that’s her call) but not skipping the bachelorette, since we could easily have planned for vegan food,” she concluded.
AITA for not having catered vegan food at my wedding?
byu/Antique-Chemist690 inAmItheAsshole
The post has quickly gone viral, with more than 4,000 upvotes. There were mixed reactions in the comments, with many readers coming to the bride’s defense, acknowledging the efforts she made to offer vegan options, even when the catering couldn’t.
“You made a mistake and then tried to find a way to make it right. She was the one who chose not to accept the alternative you were trying to make. That’s on her, not you,” one wrote.
“You made every effort to offer alternatives, but your ‘friend’ was more concerned about the day working for her rather than for the bride and groom,” another added.
A third agreed: “You made a good faith effort to accommodate your friends’ dietary restrictions and when unsuccessful attempt to find a solution with them. The purpose of attending a wedding is to bear witness and celebrate your commitment to another. It has nothing to do with the food at the reception. There are an astonishing number of options for individuals with dietary restrictions when they want to make something happen.”
However, other people criticized the bride, claiming that she should have realized sooner that her caterer wasn’t offering vegan food, and that she should have pushed for those meal options when planning.
“You should have demanded that they provide vegan meals. Worst case, they could have bought the meals from someone else and provided them without you even knowing,” one wrote. “You should have done this before reaching out to your ‘good friend’ to tell her you couldn’t meet her dietary restrictions.”
“I’m sorry but you shouldn’t have assumed the caterer could do vegan meals. I completely understand why you did, but you still should’ve asked to get confirmation before telling your friend that they did,” another commented. “That being said, I do also understand being hurt that your friend isn’t going to the wedding nor the bachelorette party. That does sting, and it is up to you whether to continue the friendship or not.”
A third added: “You had seven months to get the catering sorted. And it’s completely inappropriate and so rude to involve guests with problems in your planning. If I were your friend I’d feel like you didn’t care enough about me to make sure I was able to enjoy your wedding.”
