Brian Dowling and husband Arthur Gourounlian said they have faced a raft of nasty abuse since announcing they are having a baby.
The former Big Brother star and the Dancing With The Stars judge are set to welcome their first child this September, with the help of Brian’s sister Aoife, who is acting as the couple’s surrogate.
The showbiz duo are documenting every step along their journey in their new RTE show, Brian and Arthur’s Very Modern Family, to showcase the reality of surrogacy in Ireland.
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They are also hoping the documentary will open people’s minds up to the idea of gay couples becoming parents, after they were met by an onslaught of nasty abuse when they announced they were due to welcome their first baby this year.
Brian, 44, explained: “Oh my God, since we've announced it, you should see the abuse we've been receiving on Twitter… basically accused us of raping a womb..."
“Saying things like ‘money can buy anything’, ‘deliberately depriving a child of a mother is the cruellest thing you could do’, compared us to stuff like the Magdalene laundries stealing babies…”
But they said they aren't letting the negative comments take away from their exciting times ahead, adding: “It doesn't worry us because we're surrounded by such love with our friends and family. And I just think it's ignorance."
The couple said the show will follow the highs and lows of the process to become parents, from the live birth of their baby, to the difficulties along the way due to lack of regulation in Ireland.
Brian said: “Our consultant at the National Maternity Hospital has given full guidance to what we can do and can't do and the birth is being recorded.
“Aoife gave the go ahead for everything. And she said she'll definitely do the birth scene once they stay up to a certain end of it, but when it comes to holding the baby on camera, she wasn't sure, because you know, this wouldn’t be possible without a, our donor, or b, Aoife.
“But obviously it's very, very emotional for her and for us.”
Speaking at the RTE new season launch, where the first clip of their new show was teased, Brian and Arthur opened up about some of the hardships they have faced along the journey that will be documented in the show.
Asked why they wanted to film it for the world to watch, they explained: “We've never taken any of this to Instagram because Instagram is the highlight reel of everyone's day.
"We want the documentary to show there's more to this, because I think people think that we don't have to abide by the same laws everyone else does. Because we're on Instagram or in the public eye.
“So we have the same struggles as everyone else that goes through surrogacy gay or straight.”
“I think the serious point is that, you know, when it comes to surrogacy in Ireland, it's not legal or not illegal, you know,” Brian added.
“And we didn't know when we went to our clinic, when we come back to Ireland, we weren't even sure if we could take Aoife to the doctor and explain our setup.
“We thought we were doing something wrong.
“When it comes to it, surrogacy affects families, not just about gay people. It also affects heterosexual people."
Explaining the logistics of their pregnancy, including getting access to medication and hormones needed, Brian went on: “Even when it came to getting hormones, we were shipping hormones in and getting hormones from Portugal and Arthur was carrying them in his bag. Because in Ireland we were left in no mans land.”
“I was shaking going through security,” Arthur, 42, admitted.
“What would I say ‘I’m trying to have a baby?”
The pair also called for the law and legislation to be changed to allow both of them to be recognised as fathers of their unborn child.
Brian explained: “For us, you know, only one of us, obviously, is the biological father, we know that, our friends and family know that. We've not disclosed that yet."
“We think both our names should go on the birth cert, because one of us won't have any rights to the child that we love and we want for at least two years."
“Aoife goes down on the birth cert as the biological mother, she's not, we used to donor and at any point during this, Aoife can change her mind and decide to keep the child.
“She doesn't want to. That's not what she's doing it for. But she has to sign away. It's all about signing away guardianship and this and that.
“And I just wish in this country, they regulated it more. Why would we have to go to a different country to seek treatment?
Armenian-born professional dancer turned RTE judge, Arthur, added: “Even at the beginning, we called a clinic and I'm not gonna name names, but they shot us down straight away when we say when we said surrogacy and gay people straight away. And that was very upsetting for us. So you have to evaluate what you're doing next. So, so hard.”
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