In the garden of Edam, Pablo Fornals was the big cheese as West Ham marched into the Europa Conference League final.
Substitute Fornals sealed their passage to Prague with a 94th-minute winner, swept with panache into the bottom corner. And the shame of Alkmaar hooligans attacking Hammers players' families in behind the dugout on the final whistle will not remove the gloss from manager David Moyes' joyous dance of celebration.
When a posse of Dutch pond life was allowed to run 40 yards unchallenged to ambush the celebrating Eastenders, Michail Antonio and Flynn Downes hurdled the fence to offer their support.
Alkmaar is famous for its cheese market, where 12kg wheels of Gouda are rolled into place like Kwik Fit mechanics pushing spare tyres across the depot. And if anyone thought the Hammers' passage to their first European final in 47 years would be plain sailing, they must have been off their Roquefort.
Even in the pan-flat Netherlands, West Ham were always going to find a mountain to climb. But not for the first time, when the Hammers required a towering performance, their captain provided it. Skipper Declan Rice was immense, and a trail which began against Viborg on August 18 - three Prime Ministers ago - will now end on June 7 in Prague.
The Hammers had to grind it out like, er, grated cheese. Former England goalkeeper Robert Green called it "wonderfully boring". But Moyes, who has had to put up with some grotesque speculation about his job security despite blazing a trail across the continent, will not care one jot.
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If West Ham are to become a respected force in Europe in the long term, they have to cope with the pressure of nights like this. If they were going to come a cropper in a provincial fortress like the AFAS Stadion, surrounded by a moat but hardly impregnable, they can forget about spoiling the party at the San Siro, Parc des Princes or Nou Camp.
To follow Bobby Moore and Billy Bonds as the only Hammers captains to lift a trophy, Rice needed team-mates who would show courage under fire and treat possession like the crown jewels.
In truth, West Ham were fitful, anxious and treated the ball as if they were handling stolen goods, but at least they were resilient. And to follow Ron Greenwood and John Lyall as the club's only managers to trouble open-topped buses, David Moyes needed his players to relish the challenge, not sink to the occasion. At least they didn't go missing.
Alkmaar's only previous home defeat against British opposition in European competitions had been at Moyes' expense with Everton in 2007, and if the Hammers were fortified by in the precedent, they should have capitalised on it.
It took 25 minutes for them to threaten former Brighton keeper Mat Ryan's goal, but when Lucas Paqueta let fly from 20 yards, his venomous shot clipped a post.
With travelling East end missionaries supplemented by former Irons striker Andy Carroll's support - he did well to get a ticket from the Hammers' paltry 900-seat allocation - the Brazilian's freelance meandering always looked their best bet.
But when Alkmaar cranked up the pressure and their fans pumped up the volume after the break, Moyes' defence creaked like a sumo wrestler's deck-chair. Sven Mijnans was desperately close to smuggling a low shot past the unsighted Alphonse Areola and the Hammers were running down the clock like the mice in Hickory Dickory Dock.
As Tomas Soucek and Thilo Kehrer were both booked for timewasting, Rice lifted the siege with a long-range strike turned round the post by Ryan.
But East end hearts skipped a beat when Nayef Aguerd collided with Vangelis Pavlidis – 22 goals and 11 assists for AZ this season – and German VAR Marco Fritz dismissed home appeals for a penalty. And Areola had to cling on for dear life when Pantelis Hatzidiakos speared a 25-yard shot towards the bottom corner.
