Billie Lourd is stronger than she realizes. Giving hope to people grieving everywhere, her annual messages on the anniversary of her mother Carrie Fisher's death have brought clarity and peace to those missing their lost loved ones around the holiday season.
The actress has a deep well from which to pull, as she lost her grandmother, the legendary Debbie Reynolds days after her mother passed, too.
And on this, the 8th anniversary of the Star Wars icon's passing, Lourd's words (shared via Instagram) are poignant, heartfelt, and feel like the pitch-perfect tribute to what it's like to lose a parent and handle the undulating waves of grief and joy that filter through in equal measure—particularly when you are a parent yourself.
"It has been 8 years since my mom died," Lourd wrote in the caption of her post. "As my son would say 'that’s a lot!' I always dread this day. I spend so much time leading up to it thinking about how awful I’m going to feel. And my dread is usually right."
"I woke up this morning with a dark cloud over me," the actress added. "But when my kids woke up the dark cloud dissipated and made way for bright glowing sunshine. Her death anniversary is like an emotional tropical storm. It pours rain a lot of the day but between the storms the light is more beautiful than on any day without storm clouds. There are no rainbows without rain."
She went on, adding that: "There’s a great Anne Lamott quote, grief is 'like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly - that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.' And that describes how I feel today perfectly. Yes the grief weather is cold and yes I may have a limp but I am absolutely dancing through life (oops I quoted wicked?). And I am actually a better dancer with my limp."
Lourd ended her post with some final thoughts about feeling it all at once and letting those moments be—for they often bloom into something more beautiful later on. "My grief has given me a deeper appreciation for all the little moments of life. So today I am griefful (griefy but grateful). I watch the magic that is my son and daughter and I know she is a piece of that magic. And I feel all the things. The grief. The joy. The longing. The magic. The emptiness. The fullness. And it all coexists in a profound way. Sending my love to everyone out there who needs it. ❤️"
Here's to everyone feeling a bit of sadness during these traditionally-seen-as-joyful times.
