In Beyond Paradise season 2 episode 6, it's the day we've all been waiting for: the wedding of DI Humphrey Goodman (Kris Marshall) and Martha Lloyd (Sally Bretton)!
However, the happy occasion was put at risk when Humphrey and Martha confronted Martha's mum Anne (Barbara Flynn) about her elaborate plans for the ceremony, and got an unexpected call from social services. And somewhere in the middle of all that, there were still two crimes to be solved: one involving violent thieves with a resemblance to a former resident of Weatherfield and a former Leader of the Opposition, and another involving the disappearance of a valuable statue from a local museum.
Here's what happened in Beyond Paradise season 2 episode 6...
We're in the Shipton Abbott Museum to begin with, where curator Douglas Bevan (Jeff Rawle) is shutting up for the night along with his employee Mark Wisdom (Dewi Wykes). On their way out, Douglas arms the museum's alarm system and locks the gates with a sturdy-looking chain. As Douglas sets off home, he passes Humphrey, who's off to spend the night before his wedding at the exotic-sounding Copacabana B&B. But back inside the museum, in the dark, somebody is lurking...
Douglas arrives to open up the next morning, switching off the alarm as usual and turning all the lights on — at which point he discovers that a valuable statuette is missing.
At the cottage, Martha is sitting on the bed, staring at her wedding dress which is hanging on the back of the door. She's looking less cheerful than we'd expect from a bride on her big day. When she gets dressed (in her regular, everyday clothes) and heads downstairs, she overhears Anne on her phone, busy finalising last minute arrangements for the flowers.
Over at the police station, Margo Martins (Felicity Montagu) has finished compiling the report for the review into the station's future, and it sits ominously on the table between her, DS Esther Williams (Zahra Ahmadi) and PC Kelby Hartford (Dylan Llewellyn). Kelby offers to take it over to HQ, which Esther interprets as a desire to go and see his not-so-secret crush, Chief Superintendent Charlie Woods (Jade Harrison). Kelby protests that he doesn't fancy her, he just thinks he's an amazing woman. "Oh, it's about professional respect?" says Esther, drily. "So, if you were going to drop these off, and she wanted to give you a kiss to say thank you — just a little one — you'd tell her to back off, would you? That it was inappropriate?" Kelby says that he wouldn't want to be rude, and it would be fine as long as it was just a peck, at which point Margo and Esther can't help themselves and crack up laughing. Poor Kelby is eventually saved by the bell — well, the phone — as Margo takes a call about a suspected assault on an elderly resident in Christie Close, while Esther fields one from Douglas.
Over at the Copacabana (the hottest spot north of Salcombe), Humphrey is having breakfast, served by the overly-attentive Sandy Reynolds (Jayde Adams), who is trying to tempt him with some physical activity — no, not like that, she's simply inviting him to join her 60s-themed workout class on the beach later, though Humphrey declines her kind offer on the grounds that he'll be busy getting married. Martha arrives and sits down opposite him, distressed about the scale of the wedding — it's become everything they said they didn't want. Humphrey points out that they can't exactly boycott their own wedding, and Martha says Humphrey will have to go and talk to Anne. When Humphrey protests, Martha points out that it has to be him, because she knows she always allows her mother to talk her round. Humphrey, however, fears that his resolve won't be any steelier — Anne will use her "headmistress voice" on him and he'll crack. So Martha decides there's only one thing for it: they'll have to go and see her together, presenting a united front.
Kelby and paramedic James Blackwell (Hassan Maarfi) are over at Christie Close, attending to Ella (Souad Faress), who assures them that she doesn't want any fuss. Ella explains to them that the two men who attacked her claimed they were here to fix the internet — but she got suspicious when they went on her computer, because her granddaughter had warned her not to let anyone do that. When she confronted them, one of them pushed her and she fell back. James tells Kelby that they need to get Ella into the ambulance now, so Kelby tells her he'll come to check on her at the hospital and get a proper description of her attackers, but before they leave, a panicked CS Woods arrives — it turns out she is Ella's granddaughter. James assures CS Woods that her grandma is fine but has sustained a possible fracture of her left arm, so she needs to go to A&E.
After James takes Ella out, CS Woods asks Kelby if he knows what happened, and he stumbles his way through a slightly longwinded version of what Ella told him. CS Woods asks what he plans to do next, and Kelby tells her that he plans to get a description and ask around town — a plan of action that CS Woods is not especially impressed by. She suggests that he go back to the station and write out his report, while she calls the cybercrime unit to come down and check the computer for forensic evidence or a digital footprint. She leaves, and Kelby looks crushed by the realisation that he has failed to leave a positive impression on (a) his boss and (b) the woman of his dreams.
Esther has gone to see Douglas, who explains that the missing piece is a bronze and marble art deco piece from the 1920s by Frances Tucker, insured for £75,000 and loaned to the museum by Lady Cavendish. He explains that the museum is struggling to get by financially as it is, and most of their pieces are loans, so if word gets out that their security is lax, the owners are going to start asking for their items back — and if he makes a claim, his insurance will skyrocket to the point where he couldn't afford to stay open. Esther promises to do everything she can to find it, and asks to see where the break-in happened. Douglas shows her a fire door that was forced open, and says he's checked the cameras, but they don't show anything suspicious. He thinks it's odd that the alarm didn't go off, because they have motion sensors throughout the gallery — and it was definitely still activated when he arrived that morning because he had to turn it off like he always does.
On her way out, Esther runs into Paris Connor (Georgia Mann), an old schoolfriend of Zoe's who also happens to be Mark's girlfriend. Paris goes inside to see Mark, and tells Douglas that she's sorry to hear about the break-in. Douglas admits he has no idea why the alarm didn't go off, but says that he doesn't really understand how these things work. Mark tells him that Paris is here looking for a present for her mum from the gift shop, and Douglas reminds him to take full advantage of his staff discount.
Margo returns to the police station having dropped off the report at the regional HQ, and Kelby tells her about his encounter with CS Woods at the crime scene. He's just been checking Ella's bank account, and apparently the thieves completely cleaned her out. He explains to Margo that CS Woods took him off the case, but Margo tells him that she can't do that — the call came directly to Shipton Abbott station and Kelby was the one who first attended the scene, so it's his case. Kelby points out that CS Woods is the boss and can do what she likes, and Margo suggests that CS Woods won't be impressed with him if he gives in that easily — with the added sweetener that CS Woods will be very grateful if Kelby solves the case. Kelby's little face lights up at the very idea.
At the venue, Anne is overseeing (micromanaging, we might say) the set-up of Martha and Humphrey's wedding and is surprised, not to mention a little alarmed, when the couple in question turn up, given that Martha's supposed to be at the hairdresser at this point on her timetable. They take her to one side and explain that it all feels a bit too much, and like the day isn't about them any more — their plan was for a register office and a few close friends. Anne absolutely will not countenance such a thing, at which point Martha slightly loses her cool and tells her mum firmly that their wedding day shouldn't be about what Anne wants, it should be about what they want. Anne claims that Martha and Humphrey chose the flowers and the menu, but Martha sees things differently: Anne made the decisions and presented them with a fait accompli: "The truth is, I woke up this morning and it didn't feel like my wedding day."
Anne wonders why they didn't bring any of this up sooner, and a guilty silence hangs in the air before Martha admits that it didn't feel like a good time "with everything else" — i.e. Richard. Martha and Humphrey explain that they thought she was throwing herself into the wedding to take her mind off what happened there, and they didn't want to take that away from her as well. Anne's horrified: as she sees it, they consider her a "mad old woman, interfering in everyone else's business so I wouldn't have to face up to the fact that I've been humiliated by a man".
Another awkward silence hangs in the air, eventually broken by Anne who explains that she felt an obligation to step up on behalf of Martha's late father, who would have wanted his daughter to have a perfect wedding. She adds that her behaviour was about Richard, but not in the way Martha and Humphrey thought it was: as she ruminated on what a cad Richard is, it reminded her what a kind and decent man her husband was, and she wanted to honour his memory by arranging the wedding that Martha deserved. Anne apologises, a little icily, for overstepping, and Martha tearfully says they weren't angry at her because they knew her heart was in the right place, but they just were hoping it could be scaled back a little. Anne starts to cry and tells Martha that she can do whatever she wants, walking off and leaving Humphrey and Martha standing there, feeling terrible.
Back at the police station, Esther is absolutely flummoxed by the break-in at the museum and thinks a faulty alarm is the only possible explanation. Margo has just taken a call from Mary at HQ (if Mary is HQ's equivalent to Margo, then we absolutely insist we get to meet her if this show gets a third season), who told her that the men who attacked Ella have pulled the same stunt before: they use a wifi blocker outside the house to disrupt the signal and then pose as internet technicians to gain entry. According to Mary, HQ haven't got any viable suspects, and Esther's heart sinks because HQ have got far more resources than lowly Shipton Abbott police station, but Margo tells her that they do have one thing that HQ doesn't have: Kelby.
Speaking of Kelby: he's at the hospital getting a statement from Ella, who describes one of the men as being "dark-haired, clean-shaven, looks a bit like Peter Barlow" and the other as the other as bald, with stubble and red ears, and looks like one of the Conservative leaders (but she's not sure which one). Ella admits this isn't a very helpful description, but Kelby tells her that he one had to find a lost dog with no clues other than it was three-legged and had a diamante collar. Kelby completely charms Ella, promising to run the descriptions through the database and start making inquiries. CS Woods arrives at this point and reminds him that she told him they would take care of this at the hub, but Kelby replies that he believes he should carry on with the investigation. Ella intervenes to tell her granddaughter that Kelby is being very thorough, and when CS Woods insists that the cyber-unit are specialists at this type of investigation, Ella says rather pointedly that she hasn't seen any "cyber-men" since the attack and Kelby's the only one who's actually talked to her. CS Woods relents, telling Kelby to gather whatever information he can, but to report anything he finds back to the hub.
Esther goes back to the museum and asks Douglas and Mark to set the alarm exactly as they did the night before so that she can test it. Once the alarm is activated, Esther sneaks into the museum — but the alarm sounds as soon as she's across the threshold, putting a big hole in her "faulty alarm" theory.
Martha and Humphrey have retired to Ten Mile Kitchen for a coffee (her) and a glass of milk (him), where Zoe (Melina Sinadinou) asks if everything is okay and if the wedding is still on. Humphrey assures her that it is, and Zoe is relieved — although she admits that nothing would surprise her where Humphrey and Martha are concerned. After Zoe leaves, Humphrey suggests they go and find Anne, "kiss and make up", and smile through the wedding — a plan Martha is happily on board with. However, at that moment Martha's phone rings, heralding an unexpected development...
Social worker Hannah Owen (Amalia Vitale) is wondering if they're free to temporarily foster Ryan (Isaac Vincent-Northgate) — the young man they met in the Christmas special, the experience that essentially kicked off their whole fostering journey in the first place — who has apparently asked for them specifically. It turns out that his grandfather died a few weeks ago and his mum needs to go into hospital for a while, but there's no other family to look after him. Hannah asks them if it's a bad time, and Humphrey and Martha insist that it isn't, choosing not to tell her about the whole "getting married" thing. Ryan is already making himself at home, getting to know Selwyn the duck. After Hannah leaves, Martha sets off to find her mum while Humphrey stays to look after Ryan. They realise the next time they will see each other will be at the church, and kiss each other goodbye.
A clearly exhausted Kelby is continuing his door-to-door inquiries, knocking on the door of Maud Bernberg (Leila Hoffman), who is initially not super-cooperative, but does remember seeing a car parked outside, giving an impressively detailed description because she "watches a lot of Jeremy Clarkson". As Kelby's leaving, she mentions that she caught a glimpse of the car's driver as it pulled away, and he "looked like that bloke in Coronation Street".
Back at the station, Margo is trying to think like Humphrey in order to solve the museum case, but it's not helping her and Esther to get anywhere. Esther wonders if she's too focused on "how" instead of "who" and "why". She asks Margo to find an expert who could tell them what sort of person might be looking to buy that sort of statuette on the black market, and to run checks on all of the museum's employees. Kelby returns to give them an update on everything he's found out, and when he mentions the bald former Conservative leader who one of the criminals looked like, Margo knows exactly who Ella meant: William Hague.
Margo's research turns up 53 dealers with an interest in art deco items, which isn't terribly helpful given that they have to leave for the wedding in three hours and don't really have time to sift through all of them — and none of the museum employees had any red flags when she did a background check. Kelby, meanwhile, is realising that there are a lot of cars matching the description that Maud gave him, so he might be rather stuck without a numberplate.
Humphrey takes Ryan for an ice cream, and Ryan asks how long he will be with them for — Humphrey tells him that Hannah thinks his mum will be home in a few weeks, and to think of it like a holiday. Ryan asks if he can sleep in the boat, and is disappointed when he finds out Humphrey and Martha are living in the house now, but Humphrey promises to see what he can do. Humphrey can't resist popping into the police station to check on Esther and see how she's getting on in his absence — she tells him that the station house review panel are meeting this afternoon, though there's a possibility that their decision could be delayed by CS Woods' current family situation. She tells Humphrey about both cases, the assault and the museum theft, and he asks to see the file for the latter; Esther was rather hoping he would.
Kelby is walking through a car park looking for any leads, when he notices that one of the shops has a security camera. Returning to the police station, he shows everyone some footage from that camera, which reveals a car very much like the one Maud described pulling up outside a coffee shop, and "Peter Barlow" getting out of it. Kelby announces that he ran the car's numberplate through ANPR and got a result telling him that the car is parked in the pay and display car park nearby. Kelby asks if he should call it into the hub, and Margo tells him absolutely not: Kelby's the one who did all the hard work, saying she'll request some back-up to meet him in the car park. Esther realises that the area of the street captured on the CCTV also shows the Shipton Abbott Museum, and scans through the footage, but can't find anything suspicious on there until she gets to the bit where she appears on screen, having just been to the museum to investigate the theft, and running into Paris on her way out. Humphrey asks if Esther has ruled out Paris and Mark — surely if you worked there, it would be easy to tamper with the alarm? Esther wonders why they wouldn't just have deliberately left the door open if they wanted to steal something, and Humphrey suggests they wanted it to look like a break-in.
Kelby is doing a stakeout in the car park with PC Billy Blake (Sunil Patel), who's more interested in eating churros and trying to recruit Kelby into the hub (which has three coffee shops, a canteen and gets pies delivered every Thursday, apparently) than paying attention to what's going on around them — but luckily Kelby spots "William Hague" and "Peter Barlow" walking back to the car park. Billy radios for back-up, and "Peter" and "William" get spooked by the sound of approaching sirens — "Peter" bolts, and Kelby gives chase through the town and onto the beach, eventually taking "Peter" down with a flying tackle.
Humphrey and Esther are close to cracking the museum case, and Humphrey suggests they've been too busy trying to make the evidence fit what they already suspect, rather than looking at the evidence objectively and adapting their thinking accordingly. Humphrey runs through what they know for sure: Douglas and Mark locked up the museum at the end of the day, the same way that they always do. What Douglas told them was exactly what he saw — but what about what he didn't see? Humphrey's theory is that Mark took the statue, because it's the only thing that fits the evidence: if the alarm wasn't triggered, it must be because nobody went into the museum that night, meaning the statue was actually stolen either before the alarm was set or after it was disarmed. That leaves only Douglas and Mark as possible suspects — and Douglas has already been ruled out, leaving Mark as the obvious culprit, who went back later that night to force the door open to make it look like a break in but didn't actually re-enter the museum.
All of this leaves the question: if the theft didn't take place overnight, how did Mark get the statue out of the museum without Douglas seeing? Well, that's where Paris comes in: when she came in looking for a present for her mother, she took home a vase with the statue smuggled inside it. Esther is incensed that Paris stood there in the street talking to her as if butter wouldn't melt when in fact she was plotting a heinous theft. Margo comes in and reminds Humphrey that it's time to go and get ready for his wedding, so Esther drops him back at the hotel on her way to supervise the arrest of Mark and Paris.
Meanwhile, Martha is looking for Anne without success — she isn't answering her phone and she hasn't been seen at Ten Mile Kitchen. After being dropped off at the hotel, Humphrey tells Ryan about the wedding and asks if Ryan wants to be his best man. After Humphrey changes into his wedding suit, he takes a call from Martha.
Meeting on the beach, Martha explains that Anne has cancelled everything — the church, the cars, the reception — and then appears to have disappeared. Humphrey wonders why she would have done that, and Anne appears behind them, saying she didn't want them spending the rest of their lives resenting her for ruining their wedding day by forcing them into a ceremony that wasn't right for them. She tells them that she's cancelled everything except the canapes and the champagne for the guests' arrival, which she has in the boot of the car. She's messaged all the guests to let them know, and suggests that the three of them can arrange the wedding for another day together. Esther, Zoe, Kelby and Margo arrive to be informed that the wedding has been postponed, and Kelby confirms that he's arrested the two suspects in Ella's assault.
Anne, Zoe and Ryan head off to retrieve the canapes from the car, and Humphrey and Martha break away by themselves. Martha points out to Humphrey that it's funny how things worked out, because what they have now is an informal gathering of their closest friends — exactly what they wanted for their wedding in the first place. Martha asks if he doesn't mind not getting married, and Humphrey says no, they can just consider this a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Martha reminds him that the last time he had a dress rehearsal, someone died — so hopefully that's not an omen.
CS Woods arrives to congratulate Humphrey and his team on a very successful day: the two bogus internet technicians are locked up, and she's had a call from Douglas saying what a good job they did retrieving his stolen statue. However, the main reason for her visit is that they've concluded the review into the Shipton Abbott station house, and it will be staying open — she adds that the stellar work Kelby did apprehending the men who assaulted her grandmother highlighted the team's strengths, but irrespective of that, their statistics spoke for themselves and the decision was based entirely on merit.
Sandy arrives to hold her 60s workout on the beach (and Humphrey once again declines to take part), while CS Woods asks Kelby if she can have a quick work in private. She thanks him — not as his superior officer, but as a granddaughter — for the way he looked after Ella. She says that Kelby listened to Ella properly, and she can't always say the same about herself — and leans in to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Hopefully nobody from HR was watching, because that's a disciplinary hearing waiting to happen.
Humphrey opens up the ring box and asks Martha if she'll do him the honour of not marrying him today, and Martha tells him it would be a pleasure. They kiss as their friends and family applaud, and Sandy and her gang exercise in the distance to the sounds of Dusty Springfield's "I Only Want To Be With You". Aww!
That's our final visit to Shipton Abbott for the time being...
