The parents of a “beloved, adorable, darling, extraordinary, very special son” have urged anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts to seek help. Theresa and Tom Bailey spoke after an inquest began into the death of their 21-year-old son, Malachi Bailey, who was founded hanged on November 3 last year.
Together with their daughter Hannah the family want others – especially young men in Pembrokeshire – to be aware of the help available from medical and educational professionals as well as charities such as Papyrus, Samaritans, Get the Boys a Lift, and Gryff's Head Space. Malachi had lived in Llanteg with his parents since the family arrived in Pembrokeshire after 10 years in the United Arab Emirates. A month before he died he'd moved to his own place.
A former pupil at Narberth and Tavernspite primary schools, Dyffryn Taf secondary school, and Pembrokeshire College, Malachi was working with the "utmost devotion and diligence" as a carer at Blaenmarlais Carehome in Narberth when he died. He also volunteered with the British Red Cross, Bloomfield After-School Club, the Grace Church, and the Pembrokeshire Foodbank.
An inquest held at Haverfordwest County Hall on May 25 heard that he had been diagnosed with ADHD in 2008 and autism seven years later in 2015. In a tribute to their son his parents said: "Malachi was uniquely himself but he was diagnosed with autism when he was 15 years old. He had educational needs and was well supported by the local schools he attended. He was loved by his teachers and learning support professionals not because he was a high academic achiever but because he was kind, gentle, generous, helpful, and always tried his best. Malachi pushed himself and did things outside his comfort zone. He pushed himself through and beyond his anxieties believing that when he did so he would be even happier and more independent."
Carrie Sheridan, the coroner's assistant, read a report which related how Malachi had completed his level one in adult social care and was working towards his level two. However, towards the end of 2022, he wanted to obtain his level three as well and had become “quite anxious at times working towards the level two qualification”.
In the final weeks of his life Malachi was sending emails “multiple times a day” with his last one expressing frustration about the lack of progress in his training and that he wasn't doing so well. He informed his training providers, PRP Training, that he wouldn’t be attending a meeting the following day on November 3. Even so Malachi completed his shift at 10.30pm on November 2 in his typically “work-focused and happy” approach. He phoned his parents that same evening and seemed “positive and upbeat” and told them he had plans which he’d tell them about the next day.
But the next day Malachi didn’t answer his phone nor the door of his house in Narberth and when his parents eventually accessed the property with the help of a locksmith he was found just after 3pm. A post-mortem examination carried out by Dr Petya Nedeva gave the cause of death as hanging.
His devastated family said: "Malachi lived for what he loved, Malachi loved what he lived for. Perhaps he experienced autistic burnout due to the intense physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by trying to live in our world? What we know with absolute certainty is we loved Malachi and he loved us. We shared love with Malachi, we did love with Malachi, we talked love with Malachi, we were love for Malachi."
Affectionately called "music man" by his family thanks to his passion for music and dancing they added: "We often called Malachi the ‘music man’ because of his passion for listening to music constantly and then mixing his own music. Many....[people] have told us movingly and touchingly of how [they] loved his charming smile and how [they] enjoyed seeing Malachi boogying down our track, down the lanes, down the roads, with his headset on, often bursting into loud song.
"Smile, Sing, Dance are three words we use in our epitaph for Malachi. These words encapsulate the great happiness Malachi gave us when we experienced his infectious smile, his enthusiastic singing, and amazing dancing. His ability to be totally himself through these actions was such joyful freedom."
The family asked for the inquest to be adjourned to allow Malachi’s iPhone, as well as a second phone he had, to be analysed forensically by police in case they held evidence about his state of mind in his final days. They said: “We have to find out as much as we can and follow the trail as a family.”
They also thanked the "outpouring of compassion and concern" from their community in Llanteg and "the messages, flowers, cakes, meals dropped off, and for meaningful conversations and hugs during this most devastating time of our lives". They added: "Thank you Llanteg for being a beautiful community of caring neighbours and friends. Thank you to all who have made donations to the National Autistic Society to support their important work and in Malachi’s memory."
Senior coroner for Carmarthenshire and Pembrokeshire Paul Bennett adjourned the inquest, with a date to be fixed, to allow for the “analysis of the digital devices which will give some indication about the circumstances of Malachi Bailey’s death”.
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
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