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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Philippa Perry

Being ‘ugly’ is ruining our lives: two readers share their anguish

Frozen man with coffee cupClose up of man hands holding a mug of hot coffee
‘It’s been 20 years since I’ve had a relationship.’ Photograph: Mehmet Hilmi Barcin/Getty Images

Question 1: I was never good-looking In the past, I had many relationships, good, bad and indifferent. Then I didn’t. Part of that was me wanting to take some time after a bad breakup. But in trying to get back on that horse, nothing materialised. I’ve joined groups, I’ve gone out, I’ve engaged in activities that I enjoy, I’ve involved myself in my communities. I am friendly and approachable. I’m bright, well-educated, well-read, well-travelled. I have good self-esteem, a positive outlook and I’m told I’m very easy to talk to. These are things that people who know me well say about me.

But it’s now been 20 years since I’ve had a relationship. Trusted loved ones assure me I’m not doing anything wrong. The reason must be that I am unattractive and ugly. I was never a good-looking man, but I had youth on my side back then.

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