If we get to the end of 2024 with a better news story than Willy’s Chocolate Experience in Glasgow, I will be absolutely staggered.
It’s the perfect story. You’ve got high expectations versus miserable reality. You’ve got an organiser who – if his reams and reams of apparently AI-generated self-published books are any indication – has a samurai-level expertise when it comes to parting people from their money. You’ve got the fact that he runs a company called House of Illuminati. You’ve got police involvement. You’ve got peripheral figures going viral on TikTok. Best of all, you’ve got a website so lazily constructed that it promises nonsense including “catgacating” and “exarserdray lollipops”. It’s perfect. It’s perfect. It might be the greatest thing ever to bear Willy Wonka’s name.
