Fans of The Apprentice will know that no matter how good a candidate may have performed during the tasks, it can all come unstuck in an instant when they get to the notoriously savage interview stage. Over the years we've seen candidates stutter, crumble and cry their way through some brutal interviews as their business plans are picked apart and scrutinised page by page until there is nothing left buy ruins and humiliation.
Claude Littner - who was replaced by Tim Campbell as Lord Sugar's aide this series after a leg operation - was previously one of the most savage interviewers during the penultimate episode - and he's making a special cameo appearance on Thursday, March 17. Known for brutal one liners like: "You're not a big fish, you're not even a fish," we're sure the candidates will be quaking in their smart interview shoes.
We traditionally tend to watch this episode from behind our sofas, wearing our crash helmets. It's just so unbearable. We're haunted by moments like when candidate Lewis wanted to send his customers to Croatia, then couldn't find it on a globe. Or when candidate Camilla arrived at her interview and greeted Claude with a cheery: "Yoo hoo!" like he was her Granny. Without further ado, here are some of the moments and clips from seasons past that had us go into a cold, hard cringe.
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Solomon's "pictures of sailboats"
One of the most intense interviews of all time was Solomon. Oh, even thinking about poor Solomon makes us feel sad. His interview with Claude started like an absolute dream, with Claude complimenting him most highly on his CV. But when it came to the business plan, Claude began almost shouting. Solomon had two pages of pictures of sailboats and was asked to leave. "What am I going to work on?" shouted Claude continuing, "You're taking the p**s, please leave". Ouch.
Ricky says he'll teach an "old dog new tricks"
Claude wasn't impressed with candidate Ricky who referenced his "ludicrous" personal statement and called it "crass, obnoxious, and infantile" as Ricky could do nothing bust just agree. Claude said his business plan was actually quite good but landed the final blow saying: "You're an arrogant fool".
Jade hasn't remember to buy the website for her own business
It was more bad news for candidate Jade, who listed four websites in her business plan that she will use for her telemarketing business, assuring interviewer Mike Soutar that she owned them all. "No you don't," he assured her. "I own this one, I bought it, but the good news is I'm an entrepreneur so make me an offer." Cringe.
Never tell a lie, especially not to Mike Soutar
Candidate Daniel crumpled like a piece of paper when Mike Soutar caught him in a web of lies over his sales figures. Boasting on Amazon that he'd sold "over one million products", Mike pointed out how that was incorrect before ruthlessly getting Daniel to admit that he lied in the statement. It was like watching a lawyer take down a criminal on the stand. Except Daniel gave in pretty quickly. Is it wrong that we quite enjoyed this one?
Richard has more waffle in his business plan than a Sunday brunch
We felt very sorry for Richard in his interview with Linda Plant who said she thought his business plan and predicted growth was "bullsh*t". Richard, looking like he'd been punched, sadly had to agree saying: "I think my business plan has a lot of waffle in it."
In the lift on the way back down he said sadly to himself: "I've just thrown it away." And all our hearts broke at the same time.
Elizabeth tries to give as good as she gets
Elizabeth faced down Linda Plant as best as she could giving short, sharp answers and trying to fight back when Linda said her turnover wasn't very good. "What's wrong with it?" Elizabeth retorted. We gasped. Surely giving Linda a taste of her own short, sharp medicine couldn't work.... could it? No. It couldn't. Linda remained tough as nails and quickly Elizabeth cowered saying: "So far I have found you exceptionally aggressive. I think you should take your tone down"
Gross profit or net profit?
What's the difference between gross and net profit? Does anyone really know the answer? Well, if you're going on shows like The Apprentice like candidate Yasmin did in 2009, you'd jolly well better know the difference. Claude tangled her up in a right mess getting her to explain her profits and saying: "Gross profit is entirely different from net profit and you're talking nonsense." And don't even get him started on her turnover. We couldn't watch.
Stuart Baggs the brand
Candidate Stuart Baggs tried to convinve Claude that he was "a brand" and a "big fish in a small pond" to which Claude shook his head and assured him: "You're not a big fish, you're not even a fish". Stuart sadly passed away following an asthma attack in 2015 but we will always remember his one liners such as: ‘’I'm not a one-trick pony, I’m not a ten-trick pony, I’m a field of ponies waiting to literally run towards this."
The penultimate episode of The Apprentice is on Thursday March 17, 9pm on BBC1 and BBC iPlayer.
