That’s all from me – it’s been good fun. The game never stops though; Tim de Lisle is watching Wolves take on Newcastle.
Match report: Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid
I like watching Jude Bellingham; I love reading Sid Lowe on Jude Bellingham. Here’s his report on the latest masterclass.
Match report: Hibernian 0-0 Celtic
A goalless draw as Celtic remain unbeaten in the league.
Bellingham leads the La Liga top-scorer charts with 10 from 10. I’ve been informed that Zidane, whose shirt he now wears, never scored more than nine league goals in a season for Real.
Updated
Match report: Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley
Finally, Bournemouth can smile.
Match report: Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United
Ben Bloom has the write-up from the Emirates, where Eddie Nketiah had a day out.
Here’s all the latest from the Bundesliga. Harry Kane’s having loads of fun out there.
FULL TIME: Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid
Sing it with me!
GOAL! Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid (Bellingham 90+2)
Oh my days. Carvajal crosses into the box, Modric gets a touch that inadvertently finds Bellingham, who is left one-on-one with the keeper. The rest is inevitable.
Updated
Barcelona 1-1 Real Madrid: We’re into injury time, with four minutes added on.
Updated
FULL TIME: Hibernian 0-0 Celtic
I’ll be real with you: I totally forgot this was happening.
FULL TIME: Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley
A big result this one – Bournemouth have bagged three points for the first time this season. And they’ve left the bottom three, too.
FULL TIME: Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United
It’s all over at the Emirates. Sheffield United stay bottom while Arsenal move up to second with the most comfortable of wins.
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tottenham Hotspur | 10 | 13 | 26 |
| 2 | Arsenal | 10 | 15 | 24 |
| 3 | Man City | 9 | 12 | 21 |
| 4 | Liverpool | 9 | 11 | 20 |
| 5 | Aston Villa | 9 | 10 | 19 |
FULL TIME: QPR 1-2 Leicester
Harry Winks’ goal is the winner. It was a cracking strike as well, with Winks curling into the top right corner from outside the box to continue Leicester’s terrific run in the Championship.
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Leicester | 14 | 21 | 39 |
| 2 | Ipswich | 13 | 14 | 34 |
| 3 | Leeds | 14 | 9 | 25 |
| 4 | Southampton | 14 | -1 | 24 |
| 5 | Cardiff | 14 | 7 | 23 |
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United (Tomiyasu 90+6)
Tomiyasu scores his first Arsenal goal and Sheffield United’s day gets worse. A corner comes in, the ball bounces around before Tomiyasu pokes in from just outside the six-yard box.
Updated
There’s some VAR madness happening at Bournemouth-Burnley, with a goal from Jay Rodriguez being deliberated. It’s messing with poor Clinton Morrison’s head in the Soccer Saturday studio. It’s eventually ruled offside.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 4-0 Sheffield United (Vieira 88)
It’s a penalty for Arsenal, but it’s not Nketiah stepping up for a fourth – Vieira slots in.
Updated
GOAL! Barcelona 1-1 Real Madrid (Bellingham 68)
Yeah, he’s something else. Bellingham picks the ball up, around 30 yards away, and just smashes it past the keeper. Staggering goal, staggering footballer.
Updated
GOAL! QPR 1-2 Leicester (Winks 80)
QPR, down to 10 men after Dozzell was sent off near the hour mark, concede. Harry Winks gives Leicester the lead.
GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley (Billing 76)
It’s not just Harry Kane who’s having success with the long-range chip! Billing does it for Bournemouth – this one’s inside the opposition half, probably from around 40 yards, and the backpedaling keeper gets a hand on it, but not enough.
Updated
“I’ve said this so many times on the MBMs I think I may need to offer my services to the Football League’s colour-blind advisory board,” writes Andy Tuohy. “The kit colours? Unless I’m not mistaken, Sheffield United have a yellow away strip. Why in god’s name are they wearing a kit that is so tonally close to Arsenal’s. As has been said in this thread before. Moving at speed it’s not so easy to differentiate.”
“Barcelona were much better than Real Madrid in the first half, through last ditch defending Los Blancos have let in just one goal,” writes Kári Tulinius. “If Barcelona was facing any other team, I’d be confident they’d run away with the match in the second half, but this isn’t any other team, and everyone’s seen Real Madrid do like Jackie Chan at the end of a beating and win in ludicrous fashion.”
FULL TIME: Bayern 8-0 Darmstadt
Bayern made their one-man advantage count: they had 10 players, Darmstadt nine. Harry Kane’s clearly been watching the Becks doco, the cherry of his hat-trick a strike from behind the halfway line.
Updated
Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid: The action has resumed in the clásico. Just seen Ferran Torres’ yellow – he basically rugby tackled Vinicius Jr.
HAT-TRICK! Bayern 8-0 Darmstadt (Kane 88)
Kane’s day gets even better, this his 12th goal in the Bundesliga. It’s Sané who slots him in, and the former Tottenham man is relentless.
Updated
HAT-TRICK! Arsenal 3-0 Sheffield United (Nketiah 58)
Eddie Nketiah gets to keep the match ball. And it’s an absolute stunner – he picks up the ball outside the box and just thumps it into the top left corner.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Sheffield United (Nketiah 51)
Eddie Nketiah has his second of the afternoon. Wes Foderingham can’t hold onto the ball from the corner, parrying it away, and the Arsenal forward is quickest in the six-yard box, smashing high into the net with his right foot.
Updated
GOALS! Bayern 7-0 Darmstadt (Muller 71, Musiala 76)
More of the same at the Allianz, with Musiala bagging a brace before getting subbed for Choupo-Moting.
HALF-TIME: Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid
Just the one goal from the star midfielder playing his first clásico… yeah, not that one. Gundogan’s tidy finish means it’s Barca who lead at the break.
GOAL! Bayern 5-0 Darmstadt (Kane 69)
Harry Kane’s done a Beckham! He launches the ball from behind the halfway line, seeing the keeper off the line, and the ball sails in!
Updated
GOAL! Bayern 4-0 Darmstadt (Sané 64)
Leroy Sané has his second, and there’s still plenty more time for a demolition.
Half-times (elsewhere)
QPR 1-1 Leicester
Hibernian 0-0 Celtic
Premier League half-times
Arsenal 1-0 Sheffield United
Bournemouth 1-1 Burnley
GOALS! Bayern 3-0 (Sané 56 and Musiala 60)
They’re queuing up now at the Allianz.
Updated
Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid: Barcelona nearly doubled their lead in the 16th minute, with Fermin Lopez striking the post. The hosts have had most of the ball, with Madrid yet to test the keeper.
Updated
Here’s some Champo reading for you.
GOAL! Bayern 1-0 Darmstadt (Kane 51)
Harry Kane’s Munich honeymoon continues. He gives Bayern the lead against nine men with a diving header.
Updated
GOAL! QPR 1-1 Leicester (Dozzell 40)
QPR are back in it! The ball breaks for Dozzell on the edge of the box after a bit of pinball inside, and he puts his left foot through it to level the game.
Updated
Bournemouth 1-1 Burnley: Charlie Taylor’s strike was a proper hit, the ball falling to him on the edge of the box after a corner was cleared – he put his left foot through it to rifle the ball through the crowd and into the back of the net.
GOAL! QPR 0-1 Leicester (Mavididi 30)
QPR’s misery continues. Leicester have dominated possession, and now they’ve got a goal to show for it too.
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Sheffield United (Nketiah 29)
Arsenal have their first of the afternoon, with Eddie Nketiah providing the lead. Declan Rice crosses the ball into the box from the right, and Nketiah’s first touch is a neat one, putting him one-on-one with the keeper before he slots in low.
Updated
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Burnley (Semenyo 22)
Bournemouth don’t take long to equalise, Semenyo levelling things up for the hosts by charging into the box before slotting into the bottom right corner with a shot through the defender’s legs.
Updated
GOAL! Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid (Gundogan 6)
Gundogan gives Barcelona the early breakthrough! It’s a dozy bit of play from Madrid at the back, with no-one going for a loose ball that trickles into the box… except Gundogan, who races through to score his first goal for his new club.
Updated
Wayne Rooney’s Blue Army are still waiting for their first win.
HALF TIME: Bayern 0-0 Darmstadt
Leroy Sane had a goal disallowed for offside near the end of a chaotic first half.
RED CARD! Darmstadt down to nine men
Bayern 0-0 Darmstadt: Not another one! Darmstadt have their second red of the afternoon - the man to go this time is Maglica. Just 19 players on the pitch now at the Allianz Arena.
Updated
GOAL! Bournemouth 0-1 Burnley (Taylor 11)
Charlie Taylor puts Burnley in front – there’s a VAR check but the goal stands.
Updated
Bit of a kit clash at the Emirates apparently. “This game is not easy to watch,” says Graham Randall. “The Sheff Utd Grey kit is too close to the Arsenal kit. If only they had a third kit they could play in.”
Ben Fisher’s report is in from Stamford Bridge, where Brentford were victorious – once again.
“Your use of ‘the story of today, this week, this month, and this year’ triggered the ‘Friends’ theme song earworm,” writes Joe Pearson. “Thanks for that. Does that mean Bellingham will be there for you?”
He’s there for me, he’s there for you, there’s nothing Jude Bellingham can’t do at the moment, right? Anyway, now I have to listen to this for the first time in a gazillion years.
RED CARD! Darmstadt down to 10 men
Bayern 0-0 Darmstadt: It’s 10 on 10 at the Allianz Arena, with Gjasula sent off against Bayern.
Updated
Tough beat for Wayne Rooney. Birmingham’s 3-1 defeat to Southampton means he’s lost three on the bounce since become the boss at St Andrew’s.
Bayern 0-0 Darmstadt: Just seen the Kimmich red – seems a fair call. He was pulling back the shirt of the man through on goal, with just Neuer to beat.
RED CARD! Bayern are down to 10 men
Bayern 0-0 Darmstadt: Not a pretty start for Bayern, with Joshua Kimmich sent off in the fourth minute.
Updated
FULL TIME: Chelsea 0-2 Brentford
Goals from Pinnock and Mbeumo consign Chelsea to their fourth league defeat of the season. They’ve won just one of six at the Bridge. Brentford move up to 10th in the table.
Updated
GOAL! Chelsea 0-2 Brentford (Mbeumo 90+6)
Chelsea’s keeper, Sanchez, goes up for a corner but Brentford counter – Sanchez chases back, is in line for a straight red if he takes out Neil Maupay, who squares it for Mbeumo in front of an open goal. Easy.
Six minutes of added time at Stamford Bridge, where Brentford are trying to hold out for a 1-0 win.
Hibernian v Celtic team news
The starting XI for today’s clash against Celtic! 💚
— Hibernian Football Club (@HibernianFC) October 28, 2023
Delivered by @UpacGroup 📦 pic.twitter.com/YUqQo8iLMX
📋 #CelticFC Team News!
— Celtic Football Club (@CelticFC) October 28, 2023
Here's our Starting XI to take on Hibernian 🟢⚪#HIBCEL | #cinchPrem | #COYBIG🍀 pic.twitter.com/Dco6nqhI9q
QPR v Leicester team news
🚨 𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗡𝗘𝗪𝗦 🚨
— QPR FC (@QPR) October 28, 2023
Our line-up for Leicester 📝 pic.twitter.com/QihLfq3mwj
Our line-up in London for #QPRLEI 👀 pic.twitter.com/cjkXNclgx2
— Leicester City (@LCFC) October 28, 2023
Barcelona v Real Madrid team news
🚨 BARÇA XI 🚨#ElClásico pic.twitter.com/VVPNBddSNt
— FC Barcelona (@FCBarcelona) October 28, 2023
📋✅ Our #ElClásico starting XI is here! pic.twitter.com/o2vAYD3R7o
— Real Madrid C.F. 🇬🇧🇺🇸 (@realmadriden) October 28, 2023
Bournemouth v Burnley team news
Introducing the Cherries today ✊ pic.twitter.com/rlXOOOnldz
— AFC Bournemouth 🍒 (@afcbournemouth) October 28, 2023
This afternoon's XI to face Bournemouth 👊 pic.twitter.com/eas2R6G4nC
— Burnley FC (@BurnleyOfficial) October 28, 2023
Arsenal v Sheffield United team news
🔴 𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗠𝙉𝙀𝙒𝙎 ⚪️
— Arsenal (@Arsenal) October 28, 2023
🧱 Kiwior at the back
⚡️ Smith Rowe starts
🌶 Saka skippers the side
Let’s go, Gunners 🙌 pic.twitter.com/FPDHnqcHAi
Two changes vs @Arsenal! 🔴#ARSSHU || @premierleague pic.twitter.com/KcHuIUlyJC
— Sheffield United (@SheffieldUnited) October 28, 2023
So Manuel Neuer’s back in net for Bayern for the first time since November 2022. He broke his leg in a skiing accident at the end of last year.
Bayern v Darmstadt team news
𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐗𝐈 🆚 @sv98
— FC Bayern Munich (@FCBayernEN) October 28, 2023
Welcome back, @Manuel_Neuer! 🤩#packmas #FCBSVD pic.twitter.com/ISwgJ3qQMg
Und hier kommt unsere Startelf für #FCBSVD! #Lilien-Kapitän ist heute Tobias Kempe - Fabian Holland fällt aufgrund von Rückenproblemen aus. pic.twitter.com/2dvRsmCV7N
— SV Darmstadt 98 (@sv98) October 28, 2023
I know it’s not football – but there’s an absolute thriller on in the Cricket World Cup if you fancy a quick look.
Scott Murray’s currently all over Chelsea-Brentford at Stamford Bridge… where the visitors have scored!
Thoroughly enjoyed reading Sid Lowe’s interview with Aitor Karanka this morning. There’s a lovely bit on the Bellinghams.
Preamble
Hello, hello, hello and welcome to a good ol’ Saturday clockwatch. The story of today, this week, this month and this year is Jude Bellingham. The boy wonder lines up for his first clásico today, with Real Madrid taking on Barcelona at the Estadi Olimpic Lluis Companys at 3.15pm BST. With eight goals in nine league games, and three on the bounce in the Champions League, boy is he ready for it.
In the Premier League, Burnley visit Bournemouth, with both sides hoping for a victory that’ll lift them out of the relegation zone. Sheffield United, right at the bottom of the pile, face the tricky task of trying to get something from the Emirates.
We’ll also keep an eye on events elsewhere - here’s our featured list of games today:
Arsenal v Sheffield United
AFC Bournemouth v Burnley
Bayern v Darmstadt
Barcelona v Real Madrid
Hibernian v Celtic
QPR v Leicester
Drop me a line with your thoughts, queries, Christmas wishlist, whatever you fancy. Cheers!
