THE barbed comments between Humza Yousaf and Douglas Ross have been coming thick and fast in recent weeks.
You have to wonder if something else is going on behind the scenes. My money is on somebody not returning tupperware they borrowed.
Whatever the reason, the animosity seems to be reaching a tipping point.
Following a familiar line of questioning, Ross asked the First Minister again about policing numbers in Scotland.
In response, the First Minister gave the answer that he gave a few weeks ago. Namely, that Scotland has 30 officers per 10,000 of the population compared to 25 in England and in Wales.
‘’We are investing in our police service, that’s why we’ve invested £1.45bn this financial year’’ he said.
So far, the pair were still on script.
Ross said that there are 700 fewer officers since the creation of Police Scotland and spoke about funding pressures.
It was around this point that the cracks began to show.
The First Minister (below) hit back, saying that the financial pressures on our public services are because of the UK government’s economic mismanagement of public finances.
‘’A torpedoing of the economy that Douglas Ross demanded we copy!’’ he went on.
‘’Thank goodness we ignored him, much like the people of Scotland continue to ignore Douglas Ross day-in and day-out.’’
Sassiness scale: activated.
After an exchange about the possibility of local police stations being closed, Douglas Ross was ready to start some trash-talking of his own.
‘’The First Minister flicked through his folder a lot there but couldn’t find an answer - which seems to be the only constant throughout this sessions,’’ he said.
I actually thought that was quite a good line.
The problem with Ross is that he doesn’t know when to quit. He’s like that kid at primary school who would veer close to the edge of fatal suffocation during a competition to see who could fit the most marshmallows into their mouth.
So he carried on, because of course he did.
He reeled off a list of questions that he said the First Minister hadn’t answered.
‘’For a First Minister that loves the sound of his own voice it seems quite stark that he is silent when it really matters.’’
The SNP benches erupted to make it clear that they thought this charge was the height of hypocrisy from the Scottish Tory leader.
Maybe Douglas Ross mistook this noise for encouragement from his own colleagues to keep going, because on he went: straight off the cliff and down into crazy canyon.
‘’Humza Yousaf is a CRIMINAL’S DREAM’’ he shrieked.
’’He doesn’t want them STOPPED, he doesn’t want them CAUGHT and he doesn’t want them in JAIL!’’
‘’Why is he being so SLY and SLEEKIT and SECRETIVE about the consequences of the SNP’s cuts on police Scotland?’’ he asked.
‘’I think Douglas is just jealous because NOBODY likes the sound of his voice, Presiding Officer,’’ replied the First Minister.
‘’I know that Douglas Ross was down at the Conservative Party conference this week - or, as others have rightly dubbed it - the Conspiracy Party conference, but his post-truth, his LIES about the police service simply will not wash here in Scotland.’’
It’s an amusing quirk of our parliamentary system that Ross can accuse the First Minister of being pro-criminality, and that’s not against the rules, but as soon as Humza Yousaf uttered the L word, you knew shit was about to go down.
As the howls of indignation rose up from the Tory benches, the Presiding Officer began speaking.
‘’As all members are aware, it is wholly inappropriate to suggest that another member of this parliament has lied and I’d be grateful if you might apologise,’’ she told the First Minister.
After going back and forth with the Presiding Officer a few times, Yousaf did apologise.
I wonder if "yer maw" jokes are within the parliamentary rules because I fear we are only weeks away from one of the party leaders deploying one.
