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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Stewart Lee

At £38,700 for a foreign-born spouse, how many could the Tories afford?

Illustration by David Foldvari showing hands of slightly different shades, both wearing wedding bands, but with a barbed wire fence separating them.
Illustration by David Foldvari. Illustration: David Foldvari/The Observer

Without the foreign genes of foreign husbands and foreign wives to strengthen the British gene pool, the tragic mental deficiencies that caused 52% of the country to vote for the idiocy of Brexit will only become more pronounced, consolidating the irreversible death spiral of our already internationally pitied realm.

The perma-patsy home secretary, James Cleverly, “liked Stewart Lee a lot better when he was funny” and continues to feign conviction while defending the indefensible. But on Monday, Cleverly revealed that British citizens will now need to earn £38,700 a year before the foreign person they have married can live in the UK. This figure represents a 20 grand rise from the current threshold of £18,600 imposed on anyone unlucky enough to fall in love with a foreigner. The policy is the latest manifestation of the anti-immigration culture wars that are the death throes of this gasping dry wank of a government, malignantly salting the earth for its cursed successors.

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