Dear Anna,
I´m a queer/bisexual woman from the Deep South (aka Bible Belt), and I am finally accepting my sexuality and letting go of those feelings of shame/fear/denial/etc. In an effort to live honestly and avoid any problems (or so I thought), I have told my last two partners from Day 1 (literally) that I’m open to dating people of multiple genders.
In the first scenario, I was dating a lesbian and I told her that I’m also attracted to and have dated men. She didn’t say much, but continued pursuing me and I noticed that she seemed interested in convincing me that I’m a truly a lesbian who was simply confused. Things went fine for a few months — I told her from the beginning that I was only interested in a casual relationship since I was an expat living in her country — but then she became jealous/hurt by my lack of long-term commitment and claimed that I had a boyfriend throughout all of this (which I didn’t) and that I am a lying cheater, which really hurt.
