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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Daniel Harris

Arsenal 2-1 Everton: Premier League final day – as it happened

Arsenal pipped to the title by Manchester City again
Arsenal pipped to the title by Manchester City again Photograph: Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images

Righto, that’s us done for another Premier League SeasonTM. Thanks all for your company and comments – today and since August – and if you can hold it down for that long, we’ll be back on Wednesday for the Europa League final. Peace out.

Arteta’s boys have serious heads of hair. This is one of the least surprising things ever to have happened.

No one can dispute the fact that City are the best side in the country, but it could’ve been so, so different. Ederson’s passing is amazing, but from what I’ve seen, this lad is a significantly better keeper and his midweek cameo sealed the title.

In fairness, Villa have earned this performance, while Palace are another club who’d rather keep going.

Chelsea must wish the season could keep going for a few more years.

Still going on…

And here’s our final league table:

Here’s Ed Aarons’ match report:

It’s a funny thing, really: the key measure for how good a side is is what it wins, and this City iteration has four straight titles and a Champions League. But I think I’d rather play them than the Silva and Aguero side, who dominated the ball so profoundly it was almost impossible to create against them. Either way, both are useful.

At the Etihad, party time.

How nice it is to see someone alongside Arteta signing the interview. So easy to arrange, and so much appreciation and joy from those it help.

Thanked by the interviewer for establishing the connection between team and fans, he says “All this is happening because you started believing, you decided to be patient, you decided to understand what we were trying to do, and all this credit has to go to the players, staff – it is unbelievable.”

I think he’s choking up you know – I know I’d be – saying it’s time to have a break. “Think, reflect, and please, keep pushing, keep inspiring this team. Don’t be satisfied because we want much more than that and we gonna get it.”

Updated

“We’re all a little bit disappointed at the moment,” the skipper deadpans. “I’m so roud of the boys and everyone at the cup. When I first came here, there’s such a big difference. We’ve changed the club and to be honest I can’t wait to come back after the break.”

“We’re on the good way, we’re closer than last year, but now we have to use the break to come back even stronger, even more hungry, and we’re going to push to win everything.”

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you do for us,” he says to the fans. “The support we have, away games feel like we’re playing at home and home games are a different level. We lvoe you so much so thank you.”

Odegaard and Artetz will now address the crowd…

Havertz tells TNT maybe in three months Arsenal can look back at a decent season, but he’s clearly in severe pain; “football is hard”; trudat. Asked about next season, he says “I can’t even think about that. It’s just so frustrating when you see all them years … tough. I can tell them next year we’re gonna be a better team and give everything again. That’s all I can say.”

Arsenal have finished with 16 wins from 18 games, championship-winning form by any standard – bar City’s. They’ll regret that 0-1 at home to Villa but perhaps also the 0-0 at the Etihad – winning the head-to-head seemed essential – and the two Xmas losses to West Ham and Fulham.

Various of the Arsenal players look close to tears – they’ve given it everything, and the feeling of a season’s effort amounting to nothing more than good memories – again – must be a lot to process. They’ll come again, but they’re paying the price for a barely but relatively slow start and a few too many goalless matches. Work to do in the summer.

Final scores

  • Arsenal 2-1 Everton

  • Brentford 2-4 Newcastle

  • Brighton 0-2 Man Utd

  • Burnley 1-2 Nottm Forest

  • Chelsea 2-1 Bournemouth

  • Crystal Palace 5-0 Aston Villa

  • Liverpool 2-0 Wolves

  • Luton 2-4 Fulham

  • Man City 3-1 West Ham

  • Sheff Utd 0-3 Tottenham

Full time: Arsenal 2-1 Everton

Arsenal have played a fantastic season and their supporters acknowledge that, but it wasn’t quite good enough.

Updated

MANCHESTER CITY HAVE WON THE PREMIER LEAGUE FOR AN UNPRECEDENTED FOURTH CONSECUTIVE SEASON!

90+5 min It’s not possible for us, in all honesty, integrity and good faith, to ignore the 115 charges against them, but they are a magnificent football team, by the books the best this country has ever seen.

90+5 min And Zinchenko takes it quickly, Pickford topping behind. At the Etihad, fans are down on the by-line, waiting to invade the pitch. They’ve played all the added time allotted.

90+5 min Arsenal win a free-kick on the left corner of the box…

90+2 min The goal stands! I no longer know either where the review bar is or what constitutes and infringement – just the 42 years I’ve been watching this thing of ours – abut i guess the rationale is that it wasn’t a clear and obvious error. If the ref sees it, I reckon he disallows it.

90+1 min This is a close one! The arm is right by his side, but he barges through the loose ball using at least some of it. You can never guess what’s going to happen – a huge problem with VAR – but that looks dodge to me, because he deliberately moved into the ball and his arm shoved it away from the defender. Michael Oliver is asked to attend the screen…

Updated

90 min We’ll have five added minutes … and a VAR check for a Jesus handball!

GOAL! Arsenal 2-1 Everton (Havertz 89)

Odegaard pressures Young, his pass infield is loose and stolen by Jesus before Tarkowski can react. And though, when put in, Odegaard sweeps O2 into the far corner, the ball finally breaks kindly and Havertz finishes into the empty net from a few yards.

Updated

87 min Arsenal have run out of ideas, just sticking balls into the box and hoping something works out. But here’s Martinelli again, coaxing a decent delivery into Havertz … but his mate is up too early, forcing his neck into a header that sends the ball wide. He’s fuming, lacing the post, which sorts everything.

Updated

86 min Arsenal win a corner down the left but there’d be something fitting if they ended the season unable to shade a tightun, because that’s what’s cost them this season.

85 min Now Odegaard slings in from the left and this time, Branthwaite heads away. Everton counter, Doucoure free inthe middle, but Rice makes a terrific challenge and charges forward, robbing Chermiti and finding Odegaard, whose pass leaves Martinelli faced by a phalanx of defenders he can’t break.

84 min Pickford is booked for timewasting.

83 min Martinelli has done well down the right and he digs out a decent cross, Smith Rowe moving away to make space for a shot that he hooks into the ground … and which rears up to clatter the bar! The bounces aren’t going Arsenal’s way today.

82 min “Obviously disappointed as an Arsenal fan,” begins Zach Neeley, “but at least I can take enjoyment that Tottenham fans cheered losing in the last week of the season then finished two points out of the Champions League.”

This is football. But they gave it a good go against City, in fairness.

82 min Arsenal win a free-kick out on the right, Odegaard to swing in … and Onana to head out.

80 min Rice, then. A fine player, but if he’s an 8 not a 6, how does he sort his quality on the ball. He’s not a dreadful passer, nothing of the sort, but he’s a broadsword rather than a rapier and there’s a lack of subtlety and invention in the Arsenal midfield if it’s Partey behind him.

79 min For a second, a loose pass looks to have set Chermiti away, but he doesn’t have the wheels to outsprint the Arsenal defenders and Jesus intercedes.

78 min But here he is now, on for Trossard and heading to the left flank.

77 min I’m Gabriel Jesus, I’m concerned: last day of the season, goal desperately required, and he’s still sat at the side. A new striker will relegate him yet lower, and though he’s got a role as a squad player, he left City to avoid that.

75 min Garner carries forward down the right but in the middle, Chermiti’s movement makes it easy for the defenders to cover him and Arsenal quickly clear.

75 min Change for Everton, Chermiti replacing Calvert-Lewin.

73 min A nice touch from McNeil takes him away from Timber who piles in nonetheless; he’s booked.

72 min How has he missed that?! A cunning pass from Rice releases Trossard, who cuts back and Odegaard arrives into the box to power home … only to take a touch and hit a body! That’s a fantastic block from Branthwaite, though a first-time effort probably takes him out of the equation.

Updated

71 min It’s so good to see Timber back. He looked very handy prior to his injury, and though I’m not sure where he plays long-term, a utility defender of that quality is a great thing for any squad to have.

69 min Ch ch ch changes for Arsenal, Timber replacing White and Smith Rowe on for Partey.

Updated

68 min In comms, Adam Summerton wonders what might happen with Havertz next term and with good reason. He’s not a centre-forward and one will surely arrive, so does he go into midfield or is he a rotation option?

67 min Martinelli curls in and Havertz is up, shouldering firmly … and against the post. Up goes the flag.

67 mim I wonder if Arteta might try Smith Rowe, whose direct dribbling might break Everton lines. His wide players, Trossard in particular, haven’t given him much today, and at this stage I’m not certain both Partey and Rice are required; my guess is the former departs with Havertz going in the middle.

Updated

65 min It’s cleared as far as Rice, who leathers over the top.

64 min Arsenal win a corner that yields another.

63 min Calvert-Lewin carries forward and cuts inside, unfurling a curler seeking the far side-netting …that Raya plucks out of the air, on the dive.

63 min Regardming my Rodri/Rice comment, Gary emails thusly: “Er … Haaland has 27 goals. (And Foden’s scored more than Arsenal’s top scorer too.) For a season that could still be won on goal difference, I think THAT’S the difference.”

I agree – my point was that Arsenal have very good players but City have generational ones.

Updated

61 min Nice from Martinelli, baiting Young in before breezing by him and picking out Trossard with a cut-back, but his mate opts to take a touch when he ought probably to have shot, and the chance – such that it is – evaporates.

59 min Gabriel ends a terrific season on a sour note, trotting off as Zinchenko arrives – and there’s worse news emanating from the Etihad, Rodri’s deflected effort creeping in off Areola’s hand.

59 min At the Etihad, City probe.

57 min Now Everton knock it about, picking decent angles and runs, while Gabriel has anguish etched across his face; his shoulder is bothering him – he landed on it when Doucoure blootered him – and I’d expect that to be his afternoon over. Zinchenko is getting stripped, so i guess one of the full-backs, presumably White, will move into the centre.

55 min “I went for a walk with my good lady in Gillespie Park earlier,” advises Chris Brook, “hoping for a quiet snooze in the sunshine (how rock n’ roll am I?). Fat chance! Judging by the boisterous singing coming from the Emirates and nearby pubs, I think most Arsenal fans recognise that, come what may, this has been a great season for them. And good on them for that.”

Yup, the atmosphere is a bit Soccer AM, but it’s hard to criticise kids doing their best, and the noise-levels are of an entirely different order to two seasons ago and before.

54 min Gabriel hands off Doucoure, who responds as one might: with a minor wahey of a hoof to the calf. He’s booked.

53 min Arsenal are pushing, but this is already a display that makes me interested to see Everton next season. They’ll have to sell to buy, based on what we hear – Branthwaite will surely be for the off – but they look solid and like they believe in their manager.

52 min Branthwaite misjudges a high ball – he’s been poor today – and Havertz pinches it from him, lanking through the centre! Is he in?! He is not, the defender recovering just well enough to knock him off balance and help the ball run through to Pickford.

51 min “Surely Everton have to bring back that goal machine Gana Gueye!” says Brad Wilson. “Been Ronaldo-like the past month or so. Who needs another striker when he’s around?”

Another?

50 min Havertz sees Tarkowski coming, stretches for a ball he’s never getting, and wears the inevitable clattering; the Everton man is booked.

49 min Good ball from Coleman into Onana, but he can’t move on. I still don’t get it with him.

48 min A cross into the box and Martinelli heads down, but Pickford claims easily enough.

46 min “After all they’ve been through, I’m pleased for Mary Waltz and her fellow Everton fans,” brags Charles Antaki. “But, frankly, not that pleased. In fact, miffed. Can they please get out of the way and allow Arsenal to score five, while also sending a delegation up to Manchester and onto the field to arrest Rodri on 115 charges? I mean I know it’s not his personal fault, but he’ll do until the 90 minutes are up.”

Rodri though, what a player. A brute with velvet-clad feet and lightening-quick brain; in a sense, the difference between first and second place is the difference between him and Declan Rice.

46 min For the last time this Premier League SeasonTM, we go go again.

“Today would be such an exciting finale to the season,” writes Rob Wright, “if there was any real question of the outcome. Yes it’s an amazing achievement, but it’s also one that’s only possible due to City using their limitless wealth to ensure victory. How many times in a row do they have to win the Premiership before it becomes meaningless?”

As it goes, I don’t see dominance of this ilk lasting longer than Guardiola – they weren’t winning the title every season prior to his arrival – but yes, it’s not right how much money has been spent on this, and of course there are charges pending.

That Kudus goal will have done Arteta’s talking for him: if Arsenal can up the pressure with a quick goal, who knows how this might end?

Half-time entertainment:

Updated

Half-time: Arsenal 1-1 Everton

Everton have done really well, defending with discipline and attacking with conviction. Similarly, Arsenal have done well too, sticking to their task despite ill news from further north. The title race remains alive – just.

Updated

45+8 min Apologies, my internet briefly departed, but we’re back now.

Updated

45+6 min “Lovely to see that dazzling Klopp smile after the MacAllister goal,” reckons Colum Fordham. “He thoroughly deserves to end on a high at Anfield after all the joy he’s given to Liverpool over the last nine years. And some of the most exciting breathless football the Premier League has ever seen when everything clicks. We salute you Jurgen. Thanks for everything, the hugs, the wit and the humanity. Could you say hi to my friend Andy in Liverpool and my brother Kit in London? All Liverpool fans like myself.”

I feel like Steve Wright! Burt agreed on Klopp, a seemingly rare football manager who grasps that football is part of the world, not the world.

Updated

45+4 min At the Emirates, a rumour West Ham have scored again; they haven’t.

Updated

45+2 min “After being under the Sword of Damocles of relegation for the last few years,” says Mary Waltz, “watching Everton football for the last few weeks has been such a lovely experience. I don’t miss the anxiety and the nausea, Scoring off Declan Rice’s head just adds to the fun. See y’all next season.”

The anxiety and nausea are the best bit!

45 min We’ll have seven [7] additional minutes.

45 min There’s been a development at the Etihad! Mohammed Kudus has teed himself up for an overhead kick and absolutely punished it past Ortega! On the touchline, Guardiola hurls a water bottle into the ground – that’ll teach it – and the Emirates is up!

GOAL! Arsenal 1-1 Everton (Tomiyasu 44)

That speaks volumes! Odegaard, Arsenal’s best player so far, gets down the outside of Young, Partey finding Martinelli who plays him in,; his cut-back is as precise as you’d expect and Tomiyasu, arriving into the box not for the first time today, sweeps home a decent finish through the legs of a defender.

Updated

42 min Credit to Everton, who might’ve been on the beach but are instead giving another display of moxie. Arsenal heads won’t drop because they’ve serious pros with pride and self-respect, but they’ll be hurting.

GOAL! Arsenal 0-1 Everton (Gueye 40)

Goodness me! Gueye takes the kick, looking for inside the near post, but Rice jumps, eyes away from ball, and it instead zooms into the far side of the net! On the touchline, Arteta cannot believe what he’s seen, his kipper consumed by mystification.

Updated

39 min Onana robs White and McNeil saunters forward, putting body between man and ball, so Partey ploughs through him and is booked. Free-kick Everton, left of centre, 22 yards out. Ashley Young is interested…

37 min Martinelli is up and back involved while, at Anfield, Alexis Mac Allister head home to put Liverpool in front in Jürgen Klopp’s last game as manager (apparently).

Updated

35 min Saliba feints a shot but instead slides a pass into Martinelli, whose first touch is excellent, taking him goalwards… but just as he’s about to shoot, Tarkowski slides in to power through ball and man, saving an almost certain goal. Nor does it end there for poor old Martinelli, who wears the follow-through – which looks a real sair yin.

33 min More Arsenal pressure, Martinelli’s cut-back intercepted and Odegaard unable to pick out a man with another searching ball into the box. So his side being passing again, looking for a gap in the Everton low block.

32 min Gueye carries forward in the counter and punches into the path of Calvert-Lewin, loitering on the line, his first touch is good but his second actually narrows the shooting angle … no matter. From the edge, he drills a fine low shot that cannons the base of the near post and the ball bounces back to him … but he can onyl send the rebound into the side-netting.

Updated

30 min Elsewhere:

28 min Onana is down with knee-gripe so the players take on board fluids. Perhaps not for the last time today.

27 min Havertz carries the ball forward and cuts inside, burrowing into the box in search of a shooting lane before ramming into the nearest available pair of shins.

25 min So where do we think Arsenal need to strengthen in the summer and with whom? I’d say a centre-forward who scores goals is essential, but I also think an elite-level wide player and perhaps an attacking midfielder are necessary – the squad has quality players and options, but not of comparable level to City.

24 min It’s been a while since Arsenal did anything. The crowd sing defiantly but they know it’s done – they just want to encourage and salute another fine season of improvement.

Updated

22 min Like De Bruyne, Foden has loads of skill and intelligence, but what differentiates them both, I think, is their power and pace. It’s so rare to have that in the middle of the pitch, and I don’t totally know how you defend it.

20 min Gueye is down receiving treatment, having been fouled by Havertz while, in East Manchester, the player of the season has near-enough ended the title race, sweeping home to put City two-up. I thought he’d get this good sooner than he has – the first time I saw him play, for England u17, I told mates I’d see a superstar – but he’s there now. What a player.

19 min “From an ‘I just want to watch the world burn’ perspective,” teases Kári Tulinius, “the funniest outcome today today would be if the title would be decided by an incorrect VAR decision. The discourse alone would keep our blood pressure up until the Euros kick off.”

The fume could solve global warming in a day.

17 min Everton win a free-kick just outside the box, which Calvert-Lewin clobbers into the wall as if on purpose. At Chelsea, Moisés Caicedo has just lobbed Neto from inside his own half, after the Bournemouth keeper went off on a frolic of his own (WM Morrison Supermarket plc v Various Claimants).

16 min Lovely from Arsenal Martinelli laying back to White and collecting the return, dipping inside Branthwaite via nutmeg – the defender can be found somewhere around Selhurst Park – but his shot is a little dragged and again, Pickford saves well.

14 min Odegaard fancies it today and he coaxes a ball to the far post where Trossard turns back … only to Pickford to prang behind, flapping a paw to send the ball behind before Havertz can tap hame.

13 min At the Etihad, City have West Ham punkt under the pump.

11 min Arsenal have lost a bit of their early momentum – a banger from a rival can do that to a team – and Everton are stating to play. The home side won’t mind that, necessarily – they’ll enjoy seeing Young in their half – but what’s this?! Branthwaite tries a suicidal pass across his own box, Martinelli intercepts and a lush touch from Odegaard sets the onrushing Rice for a shot … but from 12 yards, he can only drag a tiddler that Pickford saves easily at his near post.

9 min There are few teams more comfy in a rearguard than Everton, and their defenders, centre-backs especially, are fine box-men. Arsenal will need to prise them apart, and I wonder if third-man runs from their two number 8s are that they need to force that.

7 min Arsenal need to be careful now – the players will presumably hear what’s gone on in Manchester, and need to keep themselves focused to make sure they do their job. West Ham are more than capable of staying in the game until the closing stages (in theory).

6 min Rice teases a decent ball to the back post and Tomiyasu’s up … but from close-range he can only bungle a poor header wide. In co-comms, even Kindly Coisty reckons he should’ve scored.

5 min OH MY COMPLETE AND UTTER DAYS! Fill Phoden has just spanked in a sensational opener, astonished into the top corner from 20 yards, after 70-summat seconds!

4 min Odegaaard slides a characteristically clever reverse-pass down the side of the box for Martinelli, his cut-back is deflected and the ball’s loose in the box … but sprinting on to it, Tomiyasu can’t quite get there in time to finish, his shot blocked away.

3 min They’ve only just started at the Etihad.

3 min Back to Martinelli, my guess is that his superior pace – and therefore his ability to go on the outside – is why he’s on the right, rather than the two-footed Trossard, who arteta wants attacking the box and closer to goal.

Updated

2 min Arsenal have started like they mean it – they’re passing with tempo and conviction, Everton’s lines shuffling across to restrict their space.

1 min Ah, it’s Martinelli on the right with Trodssard on the left; ther former Havertz on the corner of the box, and he curves a decent effort wide of the far post.

1 min Away we go!

The players take the knee: all Black lives matter.

The PA plays North London Forever and we’re almost ready to go.

And here come the teams!

“Good morning from Pittsburgh!” chirps Eric Peterson. “It’s been a really weird month for this Evertonian, with so many games being played upon which survival doesn’t depend. Feels more like August than May. Oh well, I imagine the offseason will bring copious harbingers of doom courtesy of this whole 777 debacle. Like Rosanna Rosannadanna said, it just goes to show you, it’s always something.”

Our players are tunnelled…

“Re Arteta being devoid of ruthlessness,” writes Osman Aden. “Couldn’t disagree more. He was ruthless with Ozil, then with Aubameyang, who’d just won him an FA Cup. Recently, he’s not been shy to take a broom to the old groups of squad players (Chambers, Rob Holding, etc). But this season, most pertinently, Aaron Ramsdale, to the consternation of most of the press. I think he is more ruthless than you give him credit for. IMHO, he might be a bit too ruthless… (I’d have certainly kept Ramsdale…)”

Ah, I need to clarify: I said he was devoid of ruth, i.e. ruthless, so we’re in agreement. Raya was an opportunity, I guess: get him in and if he’s good, sell Ramsdale, and if not, sell him.

Gabriel is, I think, the player Cristian Romero should be, in that he’s largely discarded the wildness that made him a high-class semi-liability. He’s had a fantastic season – better even, perhaps, than his partner.

The other day, someone – Martin Keown I think – compared Gabriel and Saliba to Vidic and Ferdinand. There’s not much higher praise than that, and though they’re a handful of titles and a Champions League behind, I see a congruence in the way they complement each other, Gabriel the slightly wild ball-monster and Saliba the smooth sweeper-upper – with each also able to the other’s job.

Oh goodness me, Rio is also wearing broon manager’s plimsolls.

Also for your delectation:

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Email! “…And relax.” begins Charles Antaki. “Their fans know that Arsenal aren’t going to win the league – they might not even win this game – but it doesn’t matter. It’s been great. We can revel in Declan Rice’s Stakhanovite up-and-downing, drool at Ødegaard’s talent, cherish Saka’s general lovability (and wish that Arteta had given the boy a bit more of a rest occasionally) and take vicarious delight in Ben White’s skulduggery. Also: Saliba, Gabriel, Havertz. Plus much more. The league? Maybe next year.”

There’s an old writerly saying that, when editing and revising work, you’ve to “kill your darlings,” i.e. take out stuff you love because it’s not a perfect fit, thereby elevating the work. Arteta, I’m sure, loves his players but also seems a bloke totally devoid of ruth; he’ll have to show it this summer, I think, to take this team on.

Updated

Where is the game? Everton will make Arsenal go around them if they possibly can, Onana and Gueye patrolling the width of the pitch in front of the back four. Without Saka, Arsenal might find this harder than usual – Leandro Trossard might have to go on the outside, if he can, while Ben White underlaps, in order to stretch the pitch.

Otherwise, I’m a little surprised it’s Takehiro Tomiyasu at left-back, not the more offensive and creative Oleks Zinchenko, because I can’t see James Garner running at anyone. But he’s on the bench – as is Jurrien Timber – should he be required.

Everton, meanwhile, will look to get at Arsenal from set-pieces and crosses – Garner and McNeil are both capable of excellent delivery – but otherwise, expect them to stay in shape and invite Arsenal to break them down.

Sean Dyche says it’s been a difficult season, some self-inflicted some not, and everyone involved with the club deserves praise, him included. Yes, he really did say that; of course he did. Everton are in a good place now, he reckons, and their job today is to play well.

Of course there’s also this that might be more relevant: an Arsenal side who, with the league gone, turned on the ridiculous style at the end of 02-03.

Back to Tony Adams, he, of course, scored an alright goal playing at home to Everton in 1998. I can’t lie, I was on my gap yah at the time and I may or may not have missed it, scarpering from the pub at half-time to avoid grief off my mates, and looking back, there’s something moving about the look of pure peacefulness on Adams’ face as he celebrated. He must’ve feared he’d never again experience a moment like that; he must’ve feared he might never again experience a moment; so who can begrudge it him?

On the way to the bus stop, I called my dad, who advised me – OK, consoled me – with the news that Manchester City had been relegated. Not sure those are words anyone will be typing anytime soon.

But he’s not the only former England centre-back and lifestyle guru making a statement…

A tremendous rig from TA, perhaps missing three Adidas stripes down the arms and a JVC in the middle.

On which point, two players in Everton’s spine are very highly rated, Jarron Branthwaite and Amadou Onana, so how do we see them? I like Branthwaite, but wonder if he’s got elite-level potential, but have never seen Onana play well enough for me see him as close to that level – and being left out of a struggling side, as he has been this season, also makes me wonder.

Everton are unchanged following last weekend’s narrow win over Sheffield United, and there’s a fairly solid look about this XI. I expect Arsenal to win, but I also expect they’ll have to work for it.

There are those who think he’s at Arsenal to avoid presenting the trophy to City given the 115 outstanding charges; he explains that that’s just what they decided, which totally quashes all speculation and gets those wondering what on earth is going on conclusively telt. Amazingly Predictably, he’s asked no further questions on the topic.

He thinks it’s been a good season, doesn’t want to bin VAR – why would he I guess, seems unlikely he’s ever had an epochal goon for the sake of a subjective call made destroyed by a bloke in a truck at Stockley Park – but think sit has to improve. Naturally, he offers no detail whatsoever on this point.

Saka’s spot goes to Gabriel Martinelli, who Martin Keown says was dynamite in training when he went to watch on Wednesday but excuse my while I interrupt myself: Richard Masters, Premier league head syoot, is being interveiwed.

No I won’t; Arteta, clad in seasonal all black, is being interviewed by BT. Artetz explains that Saka has always been available – something his manager made a mission – and was gutted to pick up a a slight muscle injury in training. Otherwise, the Arsenal gaffer says it should be a special day, that City and Liverpool have set the standards, his men know the task is big and they need to be “almost perfect” – they’ve tried and will see if it’s enough.

Arteta wants help from the home crowd, congratulates Everton for what they’ve done in a difficult season, and that’s wa lot.

I’ll write these down, then we’ll wonder what they mean.

Teams!

Arsenal (4-3-3): Raya; White, Saliba, Gabriel, Tomiyasu; Partey, Ødegaard, Rice; Trossard, Havertz, Martinelli. Subs: Ramsdale, Zinchenko, Timber, Kiwior, Jorginho, Vieira, Smith Rowe, Jesus, Nketiah.

Everton (4-2-3-1): Pickford; Coleman, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Young; Gueye, Onana; Garner, Doucouré, McNeil; Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Virginia, Crellin, Keane, Beto, Godfrey, Chermiti, Warrington, Hunt, Dobbin.

Referee: Michael Oliver (Ashington)

Updated

Preamble

Perhaps the greatest thing about football – and, much as we enjoy poking fun at it, its shortlist is damn long – is that, unlike the majority of days in our lives, stuff happens. Stuff of which we could never have previously conceived, that sticks with us forevermore and facilitates the second-greatest thing about football: the ability to behave in a manner deemed unacceptable in any other environment, alongside an incomparable meld of people we love and complete strangers. There is nothing remotely like it.

So, while it seems unlikely that Arsenal end the day as league champions for the first time in two decades – and who would’ve predicted that in May 2004? – as the saying goes, man plans and football laughs.

We could, of course, respond by saying well, only once has the side starting the final day top of the table failed to end it dancing about with a silver pot. But equally, we could reference – for example – 1964-65, 1971-72, 1994-95, 1998-99, 2011-12 and 2021-22, all of which featured denouement shenaniga of intense proportions. Which is to say things may side with life and conclude in a quiet, disappointing manner … or football may simply take over.

Either way, it’s been another strong season for Mikel Arteta’s men, the defensive frailty which cost them at key moments last term all but eradicated this. Even if today goes against them, they’re closer to the summit than before, and the next step on their climb is obvious: the addition or development of world-class attackers able to redeem poor performances or rich profligacy with match-winning contributions.

Given the above, it’d be easy to forget that we’ve two teams playing at the Emirates today, but the visitors also deserve plenty of praise for how they’ve shaken out. An eight-point deduction might easily have led to their relegation and, though they’ve been helped by promoted clubs always likely to return whence they came, no side will relish returning to face Sean Dyche, having rolled over for the whole world to see. Though, football being football, you never quite know. Bring it on!

Kick-off: 4pm BST

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