An Arizona woman got red flags before a bad first date. Then she went on it, and she realized just how unequal some dates feel.
It started when TikToker Marissa Holguin (@marissaholguin5) tried to go on a date with a guy she met on Tinder. At first, their date was Tuesday. Then he rescheduled it to Wednesday. And then it moved to Friday. Finally, they decided that they were gonna get ice cream in the evening on Friday to get to know one another. The constant moving of their date was an issue for Holguin, but she let it slide.
Then, Holguin shared an update. Her Friday date did not go well, and she ultimately wasn’t interested in seeing him anymore. The whole date shifted when he asked one question, which made her feel tired and “over it.” She shared that one question with her TikTok audience in a video that now has over 6,900 views.
So, how did her date blunder their situation? Ultimately, what were the worst red flags this man displayed while going out that night?
What’s the one thing you can’t ask on a first date?
Holguin got in the car with at least a small amount of hope. However, her date made a fatal blunder when he asked, “ So what do you wanna do?”
Holguin replied, asking whether they were sticking to their original plan. Earlier, they had discussed grabbing ice cream. But her date said, “Well, if that’s what you want to do.”
The question and response are both off-putting for a number of reasons. For one, asking “So what do you wanna do?” indicates that he may have completely forgotten about their prior planning and wasn’t paying attention to their texts. Additionally, his response made it seem like he disliked their original plans, which can kill the vibe when said plans continue.
Whatever good energy Holguin seemed to have going into the date may have been crushed in that moment. She was already over it at that point, but she decided to go with him to get ice cream at a specific spot he picked.
It was already 8:30 p.m. when he arrived. He picked a spot about 30 minutes away from her house, which would cut it close, considering it closed earlier than other businesses. By the time they arrived, the ice cream shop was closed. This was extremely disappointing for Holguin, as he didn’t bother to check the hours or plan anything ahead.
They decided to find another ice cream parlor. But Holguin noticed even more red flags that told her the entire date wasn’t a good fit.
What other issues were there on the date?
According to her, there were other issues. For one, the man didn’t make eye contact with her the entire date.
“ I could tell he was incredibly nervous around me, like very, very nervous,” she said. “[He] could not look at me actually the entire night. He could not look me in the eyes. Like I think he looked at me like three times.”
She asked him a bit about his dating life beforehand, and he proceeded to describe an ex-situationship he had a year before for most of the drive. Then, she said that he “trauma dump[ed]” his entire life story onto her while asking very few questions about her life.
“ He did not ask me any questions,” she shared. “Not a single question… I offered up my own stuff to… be included in the conversation. ’cause otherwise… I felt like I was just like a therapist.”
For Holguin, the combination of all of those factors made her date extremely awkward and off-putting. For many women, not asking questions is a dealbreaker by itself. They got ice cream and “sat in the cold” for a while as he told her his entire life story, but he didn’t bother to engage with her equally.
How did the date end?
During her outing, Holguin decided that it wasn’t gonna work out. They got in the car after eating and Holguin finally broke the news.
“ I don’t think that this is gonna work out,” she told him. “ You had Wednesday, Thursday, and all of Friday to figure out where to take me and what to do. And the fact that you couldn’t do that is really crazy to me for being a… he’s 28 years old.”
Then, he gave her a complete curveball. “ So he has cancer,” she told her audience. “He told me that he has cancer.” That made her question letting him know that it wasn’t going to work out. For a second, Holguin doubted her entire decision to break things off and let it go. But everything on the date irked her enough to make a TikTok video about it. She asked them whether she should break things off.
Did he even ask about a plan beforehand?
Commenters played devil’s advocate, arguing that the man may have been “intimidated” by Holguin.
“I’m starting to think maybe this guy had good intentions but was intimidated,” said one viewer. “Next time always make sure they have a plan. That could be maybe a light dinner, movie or comedy club but something. And make sure they don’t talk about the ex [for] so long. Switch the topic [quickly]. This one isn’t probably for you…”
Holguin replied, saying, “Girl I tried to ask about a plan a million times lol but yeah it’s okay!! Lesson learned.”
In another comment, Holguin indicated that she broke off the situation that day. She didn’t want to put herself through a situation with an unequal partner, and the date told her everything she needed to know.
@marissaholguin5 Replying to @Jessica?⚡️?♠️ pop me on like a podcast babes #fy #fyp #dating #az #tucson ♬ original sound – Marissa Holguin
The Mary Sue reached out to Holguin via TikTok direct message for comment.
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]
