If you’re feeling over- or underwhelmed by the election (probably both), have you considered how your pets would vote? This perennial can of worms was reopened on French social media recently by a creator asking whether viewers’ animals were leftwing or rightwing. Her luxurious-looking cat was rightwing, she said, with a “vibe de petit bourgeois”. Responses included another animal lover claiming, inflammatorily, that “all cats are rightwing”, a horse accused of having a Facebook account to post “you can’t say anything these days” updates and many rabbit owners regretfully identifying their pets as far-right voters.
In this household’s menagerie, past and present, we all think the tortoises – rampant individualists – are no-such-thing-as-society Tories (my elder son singled out the smallest, sexual harassing one as “incredibly far right”, which tracks). Consensus was complete on our deceased whippet: spoiled ballot paper or “they’re all the same” apathetic abstainer. Initially, I assumed all of my many hens have been socialists, but there’s the pecking order business, plus they like a strong leader and enforce aggressive anti-pigeon border control. I hope their strong collectivist impulses would win out, but I can’t be certain.
