A match with no urgency
To Dare Is To Meh might as well have been Tottenham's motto on Wednesday such was the lack of urgency throughout the team. Some might argue it's been the club's motto for a few years now.
It was a night when nobody in a Spurs shirt appeared to realise either that the team was 1-0 down from the first leg or that they were the home side. There was no daring and certainly no doing and this was the most muffled of whimpering exits from the Champions League.
The final paragraph of Antonio Conte's programme notes - which read like they were written by anyone but the Italian - stated: "It is important that we are positive in our approach and that we give you a performance that inspires you, because we need this stadium to be as loud as it has ever been - from the first minute until the last."
READ MORE: Tottenham player ratings vs AC Milan: Reckless Romero and Son, Kane, Kulusevski and Perisic poor
Spurs spent the first 45 minutes doing exactly the opposite, cagily and tentatively playing the ball around without ever really looking desperate to get it near the Milan goal, hoping that an opportunity might arise to counter attack rather than forcing the issue themselves.
That has become the Tottenham way in recent years, be reactive rather than proactive. Hope the opposition are kind enough to grant you an opportunity to attack in behind them on the counter, rather than force them back with your own positive play.
Conte's 3-4-3 has never looked as blunt and creaking as it has this past week, without a single goal to its name. It's a system that relies so heavily on the wing-backs and moments of individual brilliance from others rather than probing and constant possession play, so when the wing-backs struggle and the attacking three are out of form, all roads lead to dead ends.
Spurs managed to make an average Milan side - who couldn't even find a goal against 10 men - look in complete control for long periods of the game.
Yet after the match Conte talked them up like they were one of the greatest teams to have stepped on to the N17 turf. They did indeed win the Serie A title last season but lost midfield lynchpin Frank Kessie in the summer and this time around lie fifth, 18 points behind leaders Napoli.
This was a game that was crying out for a 4-2-3-1 or any formation that brought another creative player into the action. Yet Conte's squad does not have playmakers, seemingly by choice, with the beleaguered Harry Kane and the out of form Dejan Kulusevski expected to create something from very little for everyone else week in, week out.
There were 61,602 fans inside the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on Wednesday night, making their way through the sleet to do so and this Spurs team gave them very little justification for their efforts.
Conte spent much of his first answer to an Italian journalist in his post-match press conference speaking about the attacking danger of Milan, while ignoring the threat his own team could possess.
"Well, I think that both of the games were pretty even. First leg and second leg, just look at the data that suggests it was quite even. Perhaps in the San Siro, where we both had top players missing, and since Milan had more players missing perhaps we should have made most of that opportunity," he said.
"Over the last few weeks lots of important players returned for Milan, including the goalkeeper, and that's important to have the best players back. Particularly when you press and have an opposition who are able to get out of the press well.
"Giroud defends the ball, Leao attacks space and it gets you beyond the space. I think over the course of the two games we continue to have some major absences but the real difference was how dangerous we were in attack compared to them."
He added: "They were more dangerous in attack, They have Thiago Hernandez, Giroud, Leao who create real issues for opposition. I think offensively as a team we didn't create a great deal compared to what we should have created.
"We are obviously disappointed, you would expect us to be. We have made a step forward compared to last season. Last season we played in the Conference League, we didn't get out of group, we lost away to Mura, Vitesse where as this year we won our group and have been knocked out by team who won Serie A last year.
"There is a huge difference compared to last year. We have been knocked out. By the same token, winning a championship or any trophy is not something you do overnight. You need to work hard, you ned to get our players to develop, you need to understand what players will develop and what players will not develop, It sounds simple. Milan won the Italian championship, we played well at end of last season, played well in last 10 games."
Conte, who still does not look 100% fit after his emergency surgery six weeks ago, made it clear before the game that he was going to bring the energy the team needed.
He pointed and shouted and got himself booked on the sideline on Wednesday night but it felt forced rather than natural. This was another night when the Tottenham players looked more scared of making mistakes in front of him than expressing themselves to their full ability.
Richarlison's frustration, Son and a stale attack
During and after matches, Richarlison often looks a man on the verge of tears and on Wednesday night the pain seeped through in a player who has never been shy of making himself heard.
"There is frustration, of course, we're out of the biggest club competition. We can't play like that needing to score...the team had to play more offensively especially in the second half," the Brazilian told his homeland media outlet TNT Sports.
"There's not a lot to say now, we can't go chasing someone to take the blame. Now there's only the Premier League to play, a training session tomorrow and a match against Forest in the next round."
He then openly questioned his own place on the bench after believing he was set to start.
"I didn't understand...I was playing well, we won against Chelsea and West Ham and suddenly I was on the bench. I played five minutes against Wolves, asked the reason and no-one told me why," he said.
"Yesterday they asked me to take a fitness test in the gym and told me I was going to start today if I passed it, and today I was on the bench, there are things I can't understand. There was no explanation again, let's see what he will tell us tomorrow but I'm not silly, I'm a professional that works hard every day and I want to play.
"There hasn't been enough minutes given to me, this season - and forgive my language - has been (swears). I don't have enough minutes, was injured for a bit, but when I'm on the pitch I give my life. I played well in two games, especially against Chelsea, so I think I should have played tonight, but I can't go on crying about it now."
He added: "We have around 15 games to play now and the focus is that. I'll try to score as many goals as I can because the club has paid a lot of money for me and I haven't given enough back on the pitch yet.
"It's fair to say my injuries didn't help and I haven't had enough minutes, but now I'll go home, rest, train tomorrow and see if he'll put me in the first XI next game."
How Conte reacts to Richarlison's frustrated words remains to be seen and while the Brazilian is forgetting his dreadful display at Sheffield United, he's not wrong in feeling that he's getting treated differently to others.
Son Heung-min looks a shadow of the player Conte had purring last season as the Premier League's joint top goalscorer. The South Korean's confidence has been destroyed and he's struggling to do the basic things he would find so simple before.
His relationship with Ivan Perisic shows little sign of gelling eight months in and Conte's thinking seems to be to simply let him play his way through an ever-lengthening poor spell because of the credit he has in the bank.
However, for Son to have come out of the starting line up only three times this season - two of those in the past three weeks - is something that would not happen at most other top clubs, especially one with so many attacking alternatives.
Son is one of Tottenham's most important players and his past endeavours have proved that he's worthy of that tag but sometimes letting a player plod on every week throughout a dry spell does them no favours. Sometimes they need to refocus, reset and step out of the glare for a little while.
Richarlison has done little after his £60m move to press his claims to be the man to get the job but for that sort of money, you would expect him to get more chances to adapt to the team.
Then there's Arnaut Danjuma, a man who scored six goals in the Champions League last season, including goals against Juventus and Bayern Munich in this round of 16 and the quarter-finals.
Yet you might have thought he was a 16-year-old academy player there with the squad simply for the experience, such has been his lack of involvement since arriving from Villarreal on loan.
Conte will always stick with what he knows unless his hand is forced and it's why a struggling Tottenham attack is simply remaining the same.
Dejan Kulusevski is finally showing that he is just 22 and is going to have inconsistent times, despite his start to life in England suggesting otherwise.
Harry Kane now looks like a man worn down and thoroughly bored by the annual task of carrying the club on his shoulders.
When asked after the game if simply playing for the top four now is good enough for Spurs, he was answering as much for himself as he was the club.
"No, I don't think so. Where we're at as a club, we should be winning trophies," he stated. "That's always the aim. The top four [being our only target] is a consequence of not playing as well as we want to play.
"Now that's all we can fight for so that's going to be the goal and hopefully we can achieve that come the end of the season, but for sure, it's not enough for this club.
"It's hard to put a finger on it. Especially over the last week we've lacked quality in key moments against teams that we've had good opportunities against. Not just opportunities where you're one-on-one with the keeper but opportunities where you're in a good position on the pitch and we need more from all of us. To be more direct, more clinical. The last three games we haven't scored a goal and that's not good enough."
The Tottenham fans showed their frustration with boos at half-time and full-time and after one late substitution and the captain on the night understood their frustrations.
"I totally understand it. Top four [alone] is not good enough for anyone at this club, especially the fans. They have the right to voice their opinion," said Kane.
"The last week especially just hasn't been good enough. Before the Sheffield United game, the season could have been a whole lot different. You go through there, you take that momentum into the league game [at Wolves] and this game, but I feel like that loss last week put a dagger in our hearts and as you can see we haven't really recovered from that."
The decision to leave some key names out of that defeat at Bramall Lane has only looked worse with each passing display since, although Conte would have hoped there was enough on the pitch to get the job done against a severely understrength Championship side that night.
The goals starting to dry up has been a theme of the end days of recent managers at Tottenham and if Conte cannot find a way out of the gloom then it's only going to end in one way.
Reckless Romero and that substitution
There was a moment when everyone inside the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium knew what Cristian Romero was going to do. A split second later Cristian Romero knew exactly what he was going to do.
Then while he lay there on the floor for a couple of minutes afterwards, in the Milan technical area as the storm swirled around him, the Argentinean knew exactly what he had done.
For when Theo Hernandez, the player who so easily beat him in the build-up to the tie's deciding goal at the San Siro, flew down the wing again this time in the 77th minute in N17 so Romero got that look he gets on his face.
It's the one that suggests that he's going hurl himself at the opposition player and if he gets the ball then 'great', if he doesn't then 'oh well'. Think Ivan Drago's 'If he dies, he dies' moment in Rocky IV.
This late lunge was a wild one to add to an early mistimed challenge on Rafael Leao that brought a first booking that would have seen him suspended from any potential quarter-final first leg.
Romero has now earned three red cards in just 18 months at the club and escaped one or two more. If you include the yellow cards amassed for those reds, the Argentine has racked up 11 yellow cards this season after 12 in the last campaign. That's 23 bookings in 54 matches for Tottenham, almost one every other game.
Romero's aggression can be used to Spurs' advantage but he needs to learn to stop himself becoming a liability.
The 24-year-old is currently in the ever-growing group of players who have gone backwards this season under Conte
For a player with such obvious ability - the Serie A Defender of the Year in 2021 and now a World Cup and Copa America winner - Romero plays at times like a kid in the schoolyard, charging around recklessly with precious little discipline or timing.
The coaches that work with Romero in the months and years ahead must a find a way to convince the defender that timing is key and to listen to his head rather than his heart when the temperature of the game rises.
Conte was asked afterwards if Romero had suffered yet another injury in his time at Spurs, another issue plaguing his time at the club so far
"Honestly I haven't checked on his situation. I hope it's not another injury, because I don't want to find an alibi but if I have to stay here to talk about the injuries, the injuries to important players missing for a long period, I hope I don't also have Romero in this list," he said.
Conte's response on the pitch to the red card brought the loudest boo of the game.
Davinson Sanchez had been readying to come on as Romero lay stricken in the Milan technical area, Spurs perhaps half-hoping they could sneak in the substitution before the French referee Clement Turpin brandished the red card. The official was never going to let that happen though, patiently waiting to produce it to Romero, who looked shocked for no apparent reason.
After a couple of minutes, the Sanchez substitution still happened. The logic behind it appeared to be to allow Pedro Porro to get out of the makeshift back three and push further up the pitch where he could do more damage.
The problem is 62,000 or so fans seeing a centre-back brought on for an attacker in Kulusevski with 10 minutes left to score a goal was a terrible look and was only going to produce one response.
The boos were loud and full of frustration bubbling to the brim and it brought back memories of the reaction Nuno Espirito Santo got in his final game at the Spurs helm when he took off Lucas Moura, one of Tottenham's better performers on the day, for Steven Bergwijn when 1-0 down at home against Manchester United.
On Wednesday night, footage of the substitution also appeared to show first team coach Ryan Mason looking bewildered by the change, attempting to remonstrate with the rest of the coaching staff and shrugging his shoulders at Harry Kane. It's difficult to know the full context of the clip though and whether the frustration was actually aimed at something else, but again, it's not a good look.
There were precious few positives to take from the match. Porro was bright again when he came on and showed how much more he brings going forward compared to the more defensive Emerson Royal.
Oliver Skipp was one of the few Spurs players to have a bit of confidence in themselves right now and he did his job as the more defensive midfielder to the letter on the whole alongside the more inconsistent Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg.
Fraser Forster also pulled off a couple of saves and at the moment, a free back-up goalkeeper is looking like being the most successful of Tottenham's summer signings which in itself is a damning indictment of the business done.
Now it's all about what comes next.
The future of Antonio Conte
It's difficult to see a future in which Antonio Conte is the head coach of Tottenham Hotspur next season.
With the current mood around the club, it's difficult to even see the relationship between the Italian and the north London outfit lasting until the end of this campaign.
A rain-soaked Conte had a shower and changed after the game before doing his round of interviews with the post-match broadcasters. When he came to one of Italy's broadcasters, Amazon Prime, among their questions he was asked whether he wanted to continue as Spurs boss.
“These are pretty bad questions tonight," he responded with a laugh. "I am tired because I underwent an operation. I continue to work, I have a contract with Tottenham. I respect the contract.
"At the end of the season, assessments will be made with the club in the most serene way, I'll have my say... I have a contract about to expire and let's see how the season ends. Maybe they can send me away even earlier. Perhaps the expectations were higher and may be disappointed.
"What matters for a coach is trying to work and raise the bar. This year we are struggling to raise the bar. Bringing the level from average to good is much simpler, while raising it again problems arise."
Spurs were quick to confirm the next morning that Conte would be holding his press conference on Friday afternoon ahead of Saturday's home game against Nottingham Forest, suggesting a decision over his future is not imminent.
That press conference will bring many more questions about his future.
His answer will always be the same, as it was last season - that he will tell the club his thoughts and a decision will be made.
"That's his decision, he's going to be the one that makes that choice," said Kane on Wednesday. "All we can do as players is try to perform for him, work as hard as we can. That's what we're doing. I said after the Wolves game at the weekend, you can't fault the effort of the players.
"We're trying, we're training but we're just lacking something. We've talked about mentality before and that ruthless hunger to be better, to be the best, to be one of the best teams in Europe. We just haven't quite found that yet."
The problem is that while Conte was in a position of power at this stage last year, this time around the fans are turning against him and between Spurs and the head coach it feels like a relationship between two parties who don't particularly want their fling to go much further.
Even Conte's return from his recovery in Turin has been awkward. Other than the dismal display in Sheffield without his presence, his past three games in the dugout have been Spurs' worst with the stale displays against Milan and the humiliation at Leicester.
When he was in Italy, Hotspur Way was a more relaxed place, similar to when a teacher is off at school and the substitute teachers make things a bit different. It's perhaps no coincidence that Spurs beat Manchester City, West Ham and Chelsea during that period before letting themselves down completely at Bramall Lane.
There's just a feeling of resigned acceptance around Tottenham right now. Another season set to peter out with only the top four to hope for, a 16th campaign in a row without a trophy to be seen - making it just one piece of minor silverware in what is now just three years off a quarter of a century of ENIC ownership.
Even Conte didn't look angry after this latest defeat. He just spoke of the 'important' opposition, of course an Italian team. He should have been livid, for his own record in the Champions League as a manager continues to be woeful for a man who has so many league titles to his name.
He's also struggling to find the words to convince the Tottenham fans than anything will change.
Conte likes to shake things up when he joins clubs and initially his indirect help in pitching the fans against the hierarchy and challenging the club's ambition worked, with his success on the pitch last season showing that he was pulling his weight at least.
However, a dull, predictable second season has been produced for the fans, allied to star players going backwards and in Son's case rendered a shadow of his former self. On top of that, Conte's inability to show any real desire to remain at their club long-term has seen his share of the blame increase over the months among the Tottenham faithful.
It's all very well talking about building a foundation and a process if you can show anything that resembles foundations or a process. It also helps if the person doing the talking seems to want to be a part of that process rather than making it seem like he's doing everyone a favour in simply being present.
Conte is acting like he's the first man to try to forge a process at Spurs, rather than yet another trying to fix the mess created by a hierarchy that has lurched from one idea to the next without any clear plan or process themselves.
If Conte goes as expected in the time ahead and Spurs consider bringing Mauricio Pochettino back then chairman Daniel Levy is in essence admitting the most costly of blunders.
Getting rid of the Argentine and then spending millions not only on hiring and firing three vastly different managers but also far more on players to suit their very different systems, any potential return for Pochettino would shine the spotlight on almost four chaotic years of money chucked down the drain.
There was a process and there were foundations being built under Pochettino but when it started to go wrong for the first time in more than half a decade with stagnation setting in and it was clear the club might need a season going backwards in order to rebuild, Levy panicked.
Instead of trying to find a way to help Pochettino through it all, Levy ripped up the process and went back to the 'but he's won trophies elsewhere' mentality of trying to crowbar managers from very differently run clubs and expecting them to perform in exactly the same way in the Tottenham environment.
There's also the question over whether Pochettino would want to come back to Tottenham right now. The 51-year-old has made it clear that he wants to return one day, but is now the right time and will the circumstances be any different to those when he left?
There's also questions over whether everyone among the club's hierarchy would want Pochettino back, with there believed to be a split in that feeling.
Much also depends on who makes the decision over the choice of the next Spurs manager, but it's unlikely to be anyone other than Levy.
Fabio Paratici's power within the club will have diminished with his recent ban for his perceived involvement in Juventus' problems. That ban is being appealed but could be extended worldwide within the next month if that fails.
Even before that, Levy was the driving force in hiring Conte, as he was in selecting Jose Mourinho. Before that it was the Spurs chairman who decided on Pochettino after Louis van Gaal turned him down, with then sporting director Franco Baldini preferring Frank de Boer.
Paratici's choice was Nuno Espirito Santo, convincing Levy by showing the chairman clips of the Portuguese's attacking intent when coaching Valencia. Espirito Santo lasted just three months in the Premier League with Spurs so will not have done Paratici's managerial decision-making stock any favours.
That summer saw Levy get then technical performance director Steve Hitchen to draw up a list of progressive attacking coaches only to then rip up that by hiring Paratici who switched to a list of very difficult types of managers.
Lost in the centre of it all among the names on the original shortlist was Erik ten Hag, who was interviewed and keen on a move to Spurs but Levy and the north London club decided not to progress down that route with the then Ajax boss.
The Liverpool result aside, there must be some regret within the corridors of power at Tottenham as they have watched the Dutchman vastly improve Manchester United, make some big decisions over players within a tough club to take charge of, play good football and sweep them up the Premier League table and most importantly to a trophy.
Spurs also spoke to Hansi Flick, now Germany boss, and Paulo Fonseca, who was a rare name on both Hitchen and Paratici's list. The now Lille boss got as far as sorting the paperwork for his and his family's visas to begin work at Tottenham only for the club to perform a u-turn.
Then there was Pochettino, who was sounded out and was open to a return but PSG at that point were showing no sign of letting him go. This summer could bring the added complication of Real Madrid making a third move for the Argentine and if Levy does decide to hold his hands up to previous mistakes then that could force an earlier move.
Yet it's a very different Tottenham that Pochettino would return to if he choose to and the former manager would have to decide whether his way would work within it. It's not believed to be a foregone conclusion that he would accept a return at this stage.
The other options are varied. Another free agent on the market is Thomas Tuchel, but the prospect of Levy appointing a fifth former Blues boss smacks of continuing the theme of trying to be a Poundland Chelsea.
The German has admitted to being a Spurs fan as a youngster but there are some around him who suggest he, like Conte, may have reservations over whether he can win the titles he has elsewhere at the north London club.
Other coaches present more of a gamble and a restart. Roberto De Zerbi has impressed many in the Premier League with his work at Brighton but has only been in the competition for six months and comes with a reported £11.5m release clause.
Sporting's Ruben Amorim has caught the eye with his football and work with younger players, including Pedro Porro and former Spurs man Marcus Edwards, in Portugal but is another untested young coach.
Thomas Frank has done sterling work at Brentford, Marco Silva is fashionable again with his success at Fulham, while former Spain and Barcelona boss Luis Enrique remains available. Vincent Kompany has been impressing everyone with his work at Burnley, but it may well be too early for the young coach.
Paratici would certainly be pressing the claims of Napoli boss Luciano Spalletti, who is leading his team to the Serie A title by a long distance, but it's difficult to see why the Italian would want to move to Spurs right now, particularly with the managing director of football's future unclear.
Paratici's future is an awkward thing to manoeuvre around in any potential deal Tottenham look to do for any potential new head coach.
When it comes to changing the club, Conte believes that nothing is going to happen at Spurs overnight in their quest to become challengers.
"We are working to try to improve and to go step by step but if someone thinks that in one day, one year, you start to win? It is difficult. I know that to win you have to build, you need time and you have to go step by step and to accept this type of defeat," he said.
"This defeat because I think Sheffield United was unacceptable, but today, for the opponent, for the trophy we play, I don't like to lose but it can happen during a path to have this type of situation, especially I repeat because last season don't forget we play Conference League and two years ago Europa League.
"Now we are playing again Champions League but to play Champions League you know you have to improve your level because the level is high. In Premier League it is really difficult because you can see in the table really strong teams who stay in difficult position but we have to know that it's not easy.
"At same time the only way is to continue to work. I am really sorry for the fans, I am really sorry for the fans but we cannot invent the win. This is important to know this. We cannot invent the win or hope for a miracle one day that a trophy go into our training ground or pitch.
"We have to build and have patience. I understand for the fans, they don't have patience because for a long time Tottenham is not winning but what I can promise is that we continue to work really hard for this club to try to improve and then we see what happen."
There is also Harry Kane, a man who has seen more false dawns at Tottenham than most, and trying to convince him that another new project is worth him sticking around for is going to be tough as Spurs' record goalscorer gains more and more control over his future with every month that ticks off of his contract.
Kane's thoughts on a Pochettino return could be more important than anyone else's view within the club.
Conte was avoiding talk of his own future on Wednesday night while still talking entirely about his future.
"This is not right day to speak about future but my future, I have a contract with Tottenham and then Tottenham know very well which is my thoughts and at the end of season we will meet and then we'll make a decision," he said.
"I think the situation is really clear. It's one year and three months since I've been the coach of Tottenham. I always say the same things. We need time and patience because in this moment we don't have a solid foundation to be competitive to fight to win in my opinion.
"We try to work, to understand which are the right players to continue to create a solid foundation and the transfer market to try to find the right solution to improve the team but at the moment the club knows very well which is my thoughts and I have a great relationship with my chairman, with Fabio Paratici but it doesn't mean that I don't tell them which is my vision you understand?
"Then we will see. Now we have to finish the season. I have a contract until June. I am happy to work in Tottenham but at the end will make a decision okay, but the club knows very well which is my vision, which are my thoughts about the situation."
Saturday brings the visit of Nottingham Forest, who have the worst away record in the Premier League with just one win from 12 matches.
It's a game that Conte and Tottenham simply have to win. If they don't then the Spurs managerial mayhem could well start sooner rather than later.
Whatever happens, Tottenham need to find their identity again, one that has got lost with Levy's eye being drawn towards shiny objects that did not really fit in with his collection. Spurs need to play progressive football once more and the fans need to enjoy watching football again.
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