Bard Billot on the co-governance brouhaha
The First Rule of Co-Governance Club
The Tribespeople approached the Queen and requested co-governance of the rivers. They also suggested throwing in the creeks, the swamps, the aqueducts, the puddles, and the wide still lakes with their merry green algae blooms from the herds of shitting beasts. The Queen was a Kind Queen. “Why not?” she said; and appointed the affable Willie of Jackson as Count Co-Governance to sort it out. But while nine-tenths of the Queendom had already been happily sold off to the moneylenders of the Land of Oz and the satraps of the Orient, there was a sudden concern amongst the yeomen that the Tribespeople might have diabolical plans for the Thirty Eight Waters. There was much raving and screeching, and confusion grew amongst the peasants. Thus the Queen grew discontented and drummeth her fingers on her throne. She called before her Willie of Jackson. “Kia Ora, Count Co-Go,” she declaimed. “Change of Plan. My royal spies advise me that there are plotters in the ranks; so, we are going to do the same thing with the Ninety Nine Waters as we did with the new hovels for the serfs, the same thing we did as with the plague regulations, and the same thing as we did with our promise to do battle to the death with the Mighty and Cruel Dragon, Carbo El Dioxide.” “What is that?” asked Count Co-go, who to be honest could not remember any of above. “The First Rule of Co-governance Club,” said the Queen, “is that we do not talk about Co-Governance Club.” Thus the Queen departed as she had a meeting with an Ice Princess from the distant land of Ultima Thule, who had brought tribute of a fresh supply of banging 12” Happy House club remix vinyl. And Count Co-go was left to deliver the change of plan to the waiting crowds of surly tribespeople, revolting yeomanry, and bloodthirsty scribblers from Grub Street. Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as Christopher Luxon, Wayne Brown, Bishop Brian, and Garrick Tremain.
