On 15 March 1987, as Personal Services – the film strenuously asserted not to be based on her life – hit cinemas, the Observer met ‘unlikely national heroine’ Cynthia Payne. ‘Madame Cyn’ firmly believed she had inspired it and the article was illustrated with eye-catching stills of Julie Walters as ‘Christine’ and her most outré clients.
Like a talented scaffolder, Mrs P provided erections for the old, the ugly and infirm, the article explained, if any context were needed. Payne’s non-judgmental services, which could be purchased with luncheon vouchers, had assisted chaps keen to dress as babies, or who ‘could only come in the privacy of darkened cupboards’; those who wanted ‘whips and lesbian floorshows’ or what she called ‘a bit of mild humiliation’ (often, quite practically, involving Hoovering or weeding). ‘I was never strict enough with my slaves,’ she mused. ‘I wasn’t cruel enough.’
