Since she separated from her partner five years ago, Sarah has been on two dates. “Every time I think about it, I recoil at the idea of trusting someone like I did before,” she says. On the rare occasion she looks at a dating app – the last time, she deleted it after 24 hours – she scours the profiles for warning signs. “It’s very hard for me to see positives in people’s profiles. Would I like to meet someone again? Absolutely. But I think my trust levels are damaged. I struggle trying to make any sort of connection.”
Sarah, 44, and her partner had been together for eight years. They had agreed they would try for children in the future, but, over the years, she says, her partner became selfish and used her financially. When they finally broke up, he told her he had never had any intention of starting a family. “When that imploded, everything felt like it had ended, because I’d lost my sense of self during that time. It was a catastrophic change for me, even though I needed to be out of that relationship.” At the time, it felt as if she had “failed as a human being”, she says. “It’s not just trusting other people; it’s trusting myself. I let myself get into a situation before and now I don’t trust my own judgment; will I see it next time?”
