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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Politics
John Crace

All hail the Death Kult of Kemi – captain, coach and owner of the Conservatives

Kemi Badenoch giving her speech to the Tory party conference
The Tories have no idea if Kemi is messiah or lemming, but they are happy to go over the cliff regardless. Photograph: Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

Where’s AI slop when you need it? It could all have been so much simpler. Just ask ChatGPT to write me a leader’s speech in the style of Kemi Badenoch. Make it an hour and 10 minutes long, so plenty of room for padding. Go heavy on the slogans, cliches and the obligatory crap politician jokes. Ones we’ve all heard many times before. Not least at this conference.

Make the usual digs at Labour and put the boot in to Reform. The main aim of the speech is to try to reposition a party that is tanking in third place on 20% in the polls as the main opposition to the government.

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