Ajla Tomljanović has admitted she is too hard on herself while lamenting a lack of reward for career-best performances at Wimbledon and the US Open.
Tomljanović was the only unseeded player to reach the quarterfinals on either side of the US Open draw, but her ranking of 46 did not reflect her form, coming off a last-eight berth at Wimbledon in July.
Unfortunately, the All England Club's decision to ban Russian and Belarusian players due to the invasion of Ukraine prompted tennis governing bodies to not award any rankings points for the grass court major.
That meant neither Tomljanović's second straight trip to the quarters at SW19, nor Nick Kyrgios's maiden grand slam final, did anything to boost their rankings.
"It feels like one quarterfinal because the other one doesn't count," Tomljanović said after losing in New York to fifth seed Ons Jabeur.
"So I'm in a position that sucks right now because I'm still fighting to be top 30.
"I don't even know what I'm playing next. I don't even know what there is to play."
Being stuck outside the top 30 makes it harder for Tomljanović to get automatic entry into tournaments, as evidenced by her having to go through qualifying in Toronto and Cincinnati just weeks after her Wimbledon run.
The 29-year-old said after the US Open that her body is not cut out for "chasing points" after a slew of injuries throughout her career.
"I don't even know if I can do that [or] if I want to do that, but at the same time I want to be in that group of players where I feel like I deserve to be," she said.
"[I'm] just really frustrated with that at the moment, but I'm mad that I am frustrated with it because it's out of my control. But it's still very frustrating."
Before Wimbledon last year, Tomljanović had never made it past the fourth round of any grand slam tournament, but has now reached the last-eight in three of the past six majors, putting her in a group with world number one Iga Świątek, two-time major finalist Karolina Plíšková, and top-10 players Jabeur, Aryna Sabalenka and Jess Pegula.
In both her Wimbledon quarters she lost eventual champions Ash Barty (2021) and Elena Rybakina (2022).
While Tomljanović is still chasing her first WTA title, she also had possibly the biggest win of her career at the US Open, when she knocked 23-time major winner Serena Williams out in the third round of what is likely her final tournament.
"I probably should reflect a little bit and just give myself a little pat on the back because I do deserve it," she said.
"It's probably my biggest thing that I'm bad at; I just don't give myself enough credit, I'm very hard on myself.
"Someone should come up to me and just say I should give myself credit now, because it's due."
Tomljanović said she feared getting too satisfied with good results would "jinx" her, meaning she was only ever neutral or negative, "and that's not healthy".
But the Croatian-born Australian said holding herself to a high standard had helped her bounce back after injuries dropped her out of the top 900 in 2016, climbing back into the top 50 by 2018 and to a career-high of 38th in February this year.
"It's a blessing and a curse," she said.
"I'm happy to be that way, but I just need to be smarter, recognise that this is not a time to be hard on myself, this is a time to take the good and celebrate that, and tomorrow we keep going.
"I'm sure I'm going to do that now."
