After my wife died, I joined a community choir. It gave me respite from my private grief

‘I heard the harmony of the many voices in the room. I heard each singer colouring their own part in it possessed with their own private reason for singing,’ writes David Sornig. Photograph: WIN-Initiative/Neleman/Getty Images

The first person who spoke to me on the first day of choir was a woman who’d sat beside me in the crowded alto section. She leaned my way and said a little bashfully, “I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how to sing.”

I wanted to make the same confession to her, but in that moment I figured it’d be better to project something more like reassurance. “We’ll be fine,” I said from a place of certainty that I wasn’t entirely certain about.