It was around six months into my first pregnancy when I realised I needed to do something about my mental health. Looking back, it seems obvious that something was wrong – obsessive compulsions had begun to rule my every moment. Like any other mum, I worried about the safety of my children, as well as my own wellbeing. But eventually, it was taking me four hours to get into bed each night due to compulsions like checking my child’s breathing or temperature.
When I became a mum, I was hit with the overwhelming pressure of caring for a little life that meant everything to me. Often, the advice people give to mums is to ‘trust your instincts’. But when anxiety is peaking, those instinctive thoughts are very closely related to the fearful ones.
It’s clear now that my anxiety over my family was manifesting as obsessive-compulsive disorder, but hindsight is always 20/20. What started as small moments of worry slowly became louder and more persistent until the anxious thoughts were harder and harder to switch off.
Although my experience may sound extreme to some people, unfortunately, anxiety and stress are all too common for mothers. The latest research shows that 71% of mothers in the UK feel overloaded – 4% higher than the European average.
For many, part of the issue is that things can seem, on the outside, to be perfectly fine. Everything is together, everything is under control. When I became a mum, I was holding down a job (just), clinging to the bare bones of social life, and physically managing well in pregnancy and postpartum. But internally, I was navigating a constant loop of obsessive “what-ifs”.
Intrusive thoughts can affect a staggering 96% of parents, with participants from a University of East Anglia study confirming they’d had at least one intrusive thought within the first 12 months of parenthood.
This is just one of the reasons why I’m so excited to announce the launch of the Strong Like Mum YouTube channel, launched last week in collaboration with The Independent. These are workouts designed for real people, living real life. It’s not about getting you to ‘bounce back’ – it’s about helping you to push forward.
From my own personal experience and as an expert in physical movement, I can tell you that recovering from postnatal anxiety is possible. I went from struggling to leave the house and suffering with hours of obsessive compulsive routines to freeing myself from anxiety and being OCD free. With time and patience, a few simple solutions and routines can become highly effective in transforming your relationship to yourself and to your family.
If you’re ever concerned about your mental or physical health, always seek professional help from a GP or doctor.
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The power of the body and mind
Over 15 years of working as a pre- and postnatal exercise specialist, my most valuable teacher has been my clients. One of the most important things I’ve learned from them is the power of the connection between body and mind.
Studies have long shown that heightened emotional pressure can affect healing and recovery, and research has highlighted that chronic stress can impair the bodies ability to heal scar tissue properly. The postpartum period, where the body undergoes deep repair and hormonal changes, is therefore a deeply sensitive time. For any woman healing from a cesarean section or other abdominal surgery, finding ways to relax and unwind is crucial for their long-term health.
Managing scar tissue recovery after a cesarean section also affects how our core functions long-term. Without thoughtful rehabilitation, scar tissue may become stiff or restrictive and spread to surrounding layers of fascia (connective tissue around the muscles, organs, nerves, and bones).
Along with relaxation and breathing techniques, scar tissue massage on the lower abdomen and eventually on the incision site itself is an important step to cesarean healing. Scar tissue massage is generally considered safe around 6-8 weeks postpartum, once the scar has fully healed on the outside. Performing it too early or being overly rough with the incision site can lead to infection and discomfort.
For some women, the first step is to emotionally prepare to touch or look at their scar. Initially, placing your hands on the top of your abdomen away from the scar and massaging the area above the incision is recommended, followed by gently moving closer and eventually onto the scar itself.
Three key postnatal anti-anxiety exercises
Being a new mum comes with lots of new pressures: increased demands on our time, constant schedule changes, and disrupted sleep patterns. Finding a moment to focus on physical health can be hard, which is why I’ve simplified things to these three key movements.
Hip flexors
Your hip flexors, particularly the psoas muscle, which connects the base of the spine to the top of the femur, are considered the emotional centre of the body. These muscles are deeply connected to your fight or flight response, because our instinct, when we feel threatened or uncertain, is to run or curl inwards into the protective foetal position. Over time, this urge to hunch can leave our hips in a state of over-tension. Two common symptoms of tight hip flexors are an achy lower back or restricted breathing.
But fortunately, this mind-body connection also works in reverse, and releasing tension in the hips can support emotional processing. The psoas is also linked to our diaphragm, so moving into a gentle hip flexor stretch while inhaling deeply can instantly encourage muscular and tension release.
The jaw and pelvic floor
When we’re stressed, we clench. The details are different for everyone: maybe you tense your fists, or curl your toes, or have tension in your jaw from grinding your teeth. Ultimately, tension in any of these areas can also trigger a response in the pelvic floor. Although we are often taught that the pelvic floor is a relatively small muscle group, in reality, they connect to the entire body through a deep body tissue called myofascia.
Studies show that actually strengthening the pelvic floor, rather than just releasing it, is vital for core function. And when we’re looking at reducing stress, relaxing our pelvic floor can aid emotional balance. Although for many women post-pregnancy, the pelvic floor would benefit from strength and activation exercises, we must also be able to relax these muscles to avoid the repercussions of an overactive (hypertonic) pelvic floor.
Releasing the entire body with a mindful body scan exercise can help reduce feelings of anxiety. Jaw and foot release techniques also support release in the pelvic floor. There’s a wonderful pelvic floor and core session available on the StrongLikeMum YouTube channel now.
Energy improvement
When I was postpartum, I noticed that my anxiety often felt heightened after a night of poor sleep, which is all too common in early motherhood. Sometimes, the most therapeutic move is to lie down and simply elevate your feet on a platform, like a chair or sofa. Lying back in this position for even just three minutes encourages blood flow back to the heart and brain, delivering more oxygen and nutrients back to the areas that need it, providing a boost in energy.
It’s the little things
Anxiety isn’t just in our thoughts. It can live in our tissues and translate through our posture and breathing patterns, but we can use this mechanism to our benefit. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure how to ease the strain, look to physical tension release for emotional balance.
As women and mothers, we might feel the pressure to override our bodies, ignoring aches and pains. But real health begins from balanced foundations. When we release tight muscles and allow our body adequate rest, we send a reassuring message to our nervous system that it’s safe enough to let go. And gently, over time, we can guide ourselves, our minds, and our bodies back to calm.
Subscribe to Strong Like Mum to get new videos every Monday and Thursday. There, you’ll get all the help you need to build functional strength, core stability, and confidence, from bodyweight and resistance workouts to gentle return-to-exercise routines
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