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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
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Jason Prokowiew

After 30 years of dieting I was exhausted. So I started to ask: what if I stopped?

A single pea on a plate.
‘Staying thin required constant vigilance, a daily meeting with my scales to keep my weight in check.’ Photograph: Radius Images/Getty Images

Two years ago, in a session with my therapist, I suddenly found myself saying, “I want to talk about my relationship to my body sometime.” Just saying that one sentence out loud was all I could muster that day, and had taken me decades to get to that point.

My first real awareness of my body started when I was around eight years old in the hallways of my grammar school in suburban Boston. As I cycled my bike over mounds of dirt in the woods behind my house, and flew around the corners of a roller rink on a Thursday night as Michael Jackson tunes blared, I was blissfully unaware that my body was being judged and seen as wrong.

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