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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Max Rushden

Aches and strains seem worse with age but we ambling amateur footballers just can’t let go

Football Max Rushden
Max Rushden (second left, rear row) with his Melbourne University SC Bohemians teammates.
Max Rushden (second left, rear row) with his Melbourne University Bohemians teammates. Photograph: Courtesy of Max Rushden

I woke up a few weeks ago with a searing pain under my left ribs. I ruled out heart attack relatively quickly – I haven’t read about your heart sagging as you enter deep middle age, or whatever your late 40s is. Breathing was uncomfortable, but not short – there were no stabbing pains. Inhaling ached, and it turns out you inhale all the time.

Once I was confident of seeing out the remainder of the day, I started Googling other potential ailments in this region, confidently seizing upon ruptured spleen. It sounded impressive enough to put in a WhatsApp group. And so I went with it.

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