Not even his time in the army could have prepared Peter Morrison for the need to "dodge the occasional missile", as he puts it, during his decade as a magistrate and coroner of the ACT.
While Mr Morrison joined the ACT Magistrates Court bench in 2012, a ceremonial sitting marking his retirement on Friday heard his baptism did not come until an unhappy defendant hurled a cup of water at him five years later.
"That is why we replaced the glasses on the bar table with plastic cups," he remarked that day, his head and robes still dripping, as his angry assailant was led away to the court cells.
While the quip was typical of Mr Morrison's judicial style, described by ACT Attorney-General Shane Rattenbury as "somewhat stern and sober", Friday's ceremony heard he was quite different behind the scenes.
Known for starting sentences with "tell me if you've heard this one before" and donning leather to hit the open road on his motorcycle, Mr Morrison had a packed courtroom in stitches throughout an entertaining speech.
He revealed he had been in two minds about whether or not to have a ceremonial sitting to mark the end of his lengthy legal career because some people might only come "to make sure the old so and so is in fact going".
Mr Morrison said he had always regarded himself as "a somewhat accidental magistrate", having started his legal career in Townsville, "a world away from what I find myself faced with in this court".
Admitted as a lawyer in 1981, he started his own firm three years later and, for two decades, did "memorable" work representing the Palm Island Aboriginal Shire Council.
He enlisted as an army reservist in the same year he began practising law, and became a part-time judge advocate and Defence Force magistrate in 2004.
These roles led to him becoming an inaugural judge of the short-lived Australian Military Court, which was declared constitutionally invalid in 2009 after just two years in operation.
The military's loss was the ACT's gain as Mr Morrison joined the territory's magistrates and coroner's courts.
He described his "daily diet" for the past 10 years as consisting of an "unsavoury gruel" of topics, which included violence, drugs and dishonesty.
Despite the often grim subject matter, Mr Morrison said he had genuinely enjoyed his time on the bench because of factors like the "great collegiality" among the territory's magistrates.
He also tribute to his wife, Helen, jokingly asking leading barrister John Purnell SC to move to the side slightly so no one would misunderstand who he was addressing as he said "thank you, darling".
Mr Morrison also made mention of his many associates, the court staff who had suffered through deciphering his handwriting, and his four children, who had taught him the expression "OK Boomer" was a derision.
He proceeded to reflect on the "momentous contribution" of his generation to society, listing things like putting a man on the moon, creating "the best music ever", and inventing the lava lamp.
So, after all this, did Mr Morrison make the right call to have a ceremonial sitting?
"As it turned out, I quite enjoyed expressing my views on whatever I liked without fear of contradiction ... or appeal, so much so that I'm thinking of having another one next week," he concluded.
The final word was left to Chief Magistrate Lorraine Walker.
"OK Boomer," she grinned.
