Her family is made up of two mothers and a daughter. Matcha Phorn-In believes that homophobia fuelled a villager to set a fire near her home in San Kamphaeng in 2016. It occurred several times and although she reported these incidents to the police, they did not take any action because damage did not result in loss of life or property. Hence, they decided to move out and live downtown for safety.
"A family is not necessarily defined by biology, but by how we feel. Anyone can be a part of it," she said.
In fact, her teenage daughter Siriwan Porn-In is her niece. She was born to her younger brother and his wife. After they broke up, the grandmother raised the girl. But due to a generation gap, Matcha later took her in at the age of nine. When the child called her mother, she felt proud of being accepted as a mother, which she thinks has nothing to do with biological sex.
"Self-determination and mutual consent, including my life partner [Veerawan Wanna], make up the family," she said.
Matcha is a lesbian feminist human rights defender. She is the founder of the Sangsan Anakot Yawachon, a civil society organisation that provides support for young people from marginalised communities, including indigenous people. She is also the co-president of International Family Equality Day and the co-founder of the School of Feminists: Feminist Theory and Practice Curriculum. In 2020, her daughter won an Asian Girl Award in the category of human rights for her advocacy.
Matcha and other parents shared experiences of family building at an event titled "Family Diversity: Unpacking Modern Forms Of Families" at Siam Center. It was held earlier this month by the Thailand Policy Lab, the United Nations Development Programme, the United Nations Population Fund in Thailand, Warner Music Thailand, and other key partners. Its exhibition is running from today until Friday at Siam Center, with the aim of conducting a survey on dream families.
Due to the lack of marriage equality, unconventional forms of family building are not legally recognised. Because same-sex couples are not allowed to marry, Matcha and Veerawan are unable to co-own property and give their partner insurance benefits. Because they are not legal parents, they are denied the right to buy insurance and apply for a passport for their daughter. Above all, they are not allowed to adopt Siriwan, even if she is under their care.
"Society instils fear into biological parents. I will be able to adopt her when society really embraces diversity and protects her from discrimination. We are living in a conservative country where officials make rules and play by them. Let's say we go to court. They will argue that children should not be raised by LGBTI families, citing the rights that uphold the greatest benefit for them," she said.
Because of the lack of legal recognition of non-heterosexual relationships and identity at home, many LGBTI people have migrated to other countries not only to find economic opportunities, but also to come out, move with or away from partners, and take advantage of citizenship rights, including same-sex marriage and anti-discrimination policy. When asked about the phenomenon of queer migration, Matcha said it will lead to a brain drain and leave problems unsolved.
"We will continue to fight and improve laws so that everybody can live and grow here," she said.
Meanwhile, other panellists told stories of single parenting. Growing up in a warm family, Pongsiri Tejavibulya does not want to marry but continue his bloodline. Because of the myth of the male breadwinner, it took him some time to explain to his parents how a family without a mother would work. After his child was born in the US, he brought it back to Thailand.
"I have sought permission from the Supreme Court in California to become a sole parent. Now, I am applying for my child's citizenship. It is complicated because there is no law. If marriage equality is allowed, everything will follow," he said.
Pavida Moriggi, a Thai-Italian pop singer and ambassador for Spotify Thailand's Equal Campaign, said the family should be a safe zone for children. She has lived with her mother after her father passed away at an early age. It took time and effort to fine-tune their relationship and make them closer like friends. But her mother was at a loss when she found Pavida dating a woman.
"But I understand why she felt that way. It is a new world to her. It needs fine-tuning and patience," she said.
Some single parents are facing physical challenges. Saysunee Jana, a wheelchair fencer and the country's first female gold medallist in the Paralympics, said that following an accident which resulted in her disability, she found sports could give her new opportunities. After 15 years, the athlete decided to start a family. A doctor, however, did not agree with her pregnancy and forwarded the case to a colleague. After nine months, she gave birth to a healthy baby.
"At first, I struggled with childcare, but my family provided a lot of support. After six years, when things started to go well, an unexpected family issue arose. I have become a single mother. My child can accept it. We have stuck together through thick and thin," she said.
Renaud Meyer, the UNDP resident representative in Thailand, said despite recent progress in the promotion of LGBTI rights, there has been a "reverse movement" in other parts of the world, including democratic countries. When it comes to Thailand, he expressed hope for the implementation of the marriage equality law. "What matters today is to accept all types and definitions of families," he said.
