Italians are famously laid-back about their cuisine, so I’m sure they won’t have a problem with the reviews handed out by Danny Dyer and his daughter Dani on the entertaining travel show Absolutely Dyer: Danny and Dani Do Italy. What did Dyer Sr make of Italy’s garlic bread, you ask? “Not as good as Pizza Hut.” Did his daughter enjoy the arancini they tried at a Sicilian food market? “I like the one in Zizzi better.” Like I said, Italians don’t really care about that sort of thing. I’m sure they’ll be fine about it.
Food aside, this is a fun, breezy hour with the Dyers, as light and frothy as a decent cappuccino. Danny, famous for his acting and presenting, and Dani, a personality and former Love Island winner, are good company, if a little uninterested in the travel part of making a travel show. It begins with Danny admitting as much. “We’re not travellers, we’re not journalists, I dunno what we are,” he says, as they confess that they’re not really sure why E4 asked them to do this in the first place.
Considering their popularity and guaranteed quotability, I imagine there are quite a few reasons why E4 asked them to do it in the first place. In the opening episode, they head off to Sicily, but this is more about seeing the sights and meeting the people than any cloistered White Lotus-style luxury experience. Naturally, the Dyers dole out quotes by the bucketload, though whether they’ll be taken up by the Sicilian tourist board remains to be seen. Stromboli is “a mad little gaff off Sicily”. Cefalù is a “nutty little town”. Danny, getting ready to climb the volcano, declares: “We’re gonna take on this twat.” Quick! Add that to the leaflet!
Partly this is watchable because the two Dyers clearly like each other very much. Dani was born when Danny – thank God for the different spellings, otherwise this would get even more confusing – was just 18, and they’re obviously incredibly close. They are also extremely open with each other, which means that by the time the first episode had finished, I knew that Danny has one large testicle, that he doesn’t mind telling his daughter about the time he got caught watching porn by his wife, and that he has never worn a hiking boot, until he “took on this twat”. Meanwhile Dani claims to have only ever seen three sunsets before this trip and sagely points out that Stromboli doesn’t have the Central Line, or trains.
They explore Sicily in a state of amiable semi-enthusiasm. There is a slight performance of being a curmudgeon, from Danny’s side, at least, but neither can hide the fact that they seem genuinely open to new experiences, and even more so to having a good natter about them afterwards. When they decide they will climb Stromboli, the active volcano that “apparently still spits out shit”, they do it with gusto, brand new hiking boots and all. Dani is presented with a plate of tuna semen to try, and while it’s not accurate to say she tackles that with gusto, she does give it a good go, although she does also have questions about how they get the semen, which implies she thinks it’s extracted when the fish is alive.
The pair’s closeness means that the free-wheeling appeal of their conversations and observations is allowed to fly, but it does lead to some surprisingly touching moments, too. They visit the Capuchin Catacombs in Palermo, to see the bodies mummified by the wealthy, and have a chat about death and making the most of life, given its fleeting nature. Eventually, after discussing their fears and beliefs, Dani calmly reasons that it might be nice to preserve her father’s body. “I would stuff you,” she says, sweetly.
Similarly, they meet an aikido practitioner on Stromboli, who draws power from the fact that she practises in the shadow of an active volcano. Again, we see Danny’s sensitive side. He talks about meditation, which he learned in rehab, and anxiety, and the importance of living in the moment. Everywhere they go, he has a “did ya know” fact or two, whether that’s about squid fishing, volcanoes, or his giant testicle.
I am not sure that Absolutely Dyer: Danny and Dani Do Italy offers a definitive guide to the nation, but there are plenty of other Italy-themed documentaries whose presenters try harder to do so, from Stanley Tucci to Gordon, Gino and Fred, and a thousand others in between. But this is good-natured and open-hearted. “I’ve seen some mad stuff in my time, but I’ve never seen cocks on a ceiling,” says Danny, awestruck by a fresco. As tour guides go, you could do worse than Danny and Dani.
Absolutely Dyer: Danny and Dani Do Italy aired on E4 and is available on All 4.
