Comedian Adrian Edmondson says he has contemplated suicide most of his life.
The Young Ones actor broke the news to his “shocked” comic wife Jennifer Saunders more than 20 years into their marriage. He finally took her advice to seek professional help in 2011.
The revelations emerged via Radio 3 show The Essay where Adrian has this week been reading a self-penned story called Signs Of Life, which producers of the show say is entirely factually based on his own life.
Also know as Ade, star told how he married a girlfriend at university but it ended badly and this began his mental health issues, talking about how he narrowly survived an attempt to kill himself.
Speaking in the present tense, he said: “I’m not entirely well. I see the uni doctor. He puts me on tranquilisers. No-one mentions the phrase mental health. No-one talks about anything.
“And that attitude still persists in the 70s. I don’t know I’ve got a mental health issue. I don’t like the tranquilisers. I stop taking them.”
As his comedy career began to take off his mental issues got worse, and in his late 30s he became an insomniac.
He continued: “I think suicidal thoughts are normal. I’ve lived with them all my life. I know how to do it."
Adrian says he did eventually tell his wife and has since got help for his inner turmoil. Marrying Jennifer in 1985, he did not speak about his negative feelings with her until 2007.
He said: “It’s not the sort of thing that comes up when you’re dating, I never found the right moment.
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“She’s shocked. I am a very good actor. She’s sad and worried and tells me that I really need to see someone. I agree and prevaricate.”
But it wasn’t until two friends committed suicide years later that he finally sought help.
“I learn how aggressive these acts are towards everyone left. They devastate so many people and I resolve never to cause that amount of pain. Deciding suicide is not an option is a game changer," he said.
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
