With the United States currently celebrating its 250th anniversary it feels only appropriate for this week's column to acknowledge our friends across The Pond although I can't always understand what goes on there. As the old saying goes, "England and America are two countries separated by the same language".
So please brace yourselves for some Americana seen through British eyes.
Despite not being American, I attended a number of July 4 celebrations in Bangkok back in the days when they were held at the old ISB campus on Sukhumvit Soi 15. An American colleague's recommendation of "cheap beer and heavenly hot dogs" was enough to convince me it was not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon in Bangkok.
The hot dogs did not disappoint and more importantly I was introduced to American Hot Dog Etiquette. Apparently in the US the ideal hot dog requires mustard, relish and onions but definitely no ketchup. What the etiquette failed to mention was I was guaranteed to end up with an unseemly dollop of yellow mustard dribbling down my shirt. Not to worry, the beer helped wash everything down and the soiled shirt was quickly forgotten.
They were well-organised occasions and always fun. I recall taking part in the egg-tossing competition and failing miserably, while I wisely declined participating in the three-legged race. I also resisted an invitation to board the Ferris wheel, which was to take its revenge at this rebuff in an unorthodox way.
Ferris teamwork
In those days I played football regularly at the ISB campus for a team called the Cosmopolitans. Shortly after one July 4 celebration, we turned up to find the Ferris wheel still stubbornly sitting in the middle of the football pitch. Two other teams were already playing their match, unconvincingly trying to pretend the Ferris wheel wasn't really there, with predictably farcical results.
Our team, which included 10 different nationalities, decided action must be taken and combined to shove the rogue Ferris wheel into a corner of the field. It was the finest example of spontaneous international cooperation I have ever witnessed.
Home cooking
It is hard to imagine now, but before the arrival of the first McDonald's in Bangkok in 1985 American fast food was not that widely available in Thailand. A few restaurants had their own version of a hamburger and that was about it. That was one reason for the popularity of the July 4 hot dogs and burgers.
There are now more than 240 McDonald's in the kingdom and despite the international reputation of Thai food, many Americans far from home are uncomfortable unless they are within munching distance of a Big Mac. Walking on Silom one afternoon in the late 1980s I was approached by a young American looking quite desperate and he asked where McDonald's was located. It was a rare occasion on being asked directions that I actually knew the answer, which was "just down there on the left". The fellow thanked me effusively. I've never seen anyone so happy.
Have a nice day
I've only been to America once, back in 1995. Most of the time was spent in the San Diego area and it was very enjoyable. I was particularly impressed that nearly every American I met found time to come up with a chirpy "have a nice day" even when it was pouring with rain.
It was the evocative names that really caught my eye, places I had only heard mentioned in films and TV -- Chula Vista, Escondido, Mission Bay, Shelter Island, La Jolla, El Cajon and Point Loma, reflecting Spanish, Mexican and Old Californian influences. There are colourful stories behind every name. Anyway, to all readers, whatever nationality you might be, all I can say is "have a nice day".
Soul of America
The best thing to come out of the US is the music. The first record I ever bought was Ray Charles Greatest Hits released in 1962. During those glorious vinyl days I would spend nearly every Saturday morning in the HMV record store in Reading listening to the likes of Charles, Chuck Berry, James Brown and jazz saxophonist Cannonball Adderley. All of them were American.
Eventually I saved up enough money to buy the soulful Ray Charles album which had some fantastic bluesy songs. I particularly liked "Georgia On My Mind" which has since become Georgia's state song. When Ray sings "as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines" it still sends shivers up my spine.
I brought that vinyl to Thailand in the late 1970s. Unfortunately it bent out of shape in the heat. Eventually it disappeared when I was moving and I have an uncomfortable feeling that "Georgia" ended up on the Onnut rubbish dump.
Mississippi spellchecker
I have to thank American singer Bobbie Gentry for helping me tackle the spelling of one southern state and the famous river which runs through it. When she released "Mississippi Delta" in 1967 the opening line began "M I double S I double S I double P I".
To this day whenever I write that name the song's opening line automatically pops up in my rapidly shrinking memory bank. Apart from helping with the spelling, it's also a pretty good song, although her brilliant "Ode to Billie Joe" was even better.
