You probably missed it, but yesterday lunchtime, the UK's House of Lords met to debate cycling safety.
It wasn't so much the safety of cyclists they were discussing, around 100 of whom are killed on UK roads every year, but more the havoc cyclists are said to wreak themselves. From red light jumping, to speeding and mobile phone pinching, a rather sketchy impression was painted. Anyone playing anti-cyclist bingo would have quickly seen their card fill up.
The point of the debate, of course, was to come up with solutions for stopping lawless cyclists. You've almost certainly heard them all before. Some of the Lords proposed licences, bike registration and even obligatory high-vis jackets. Others warned that overregulation may (see: will) lead to fewer people riding bikes.
Without wanting to trivialise the debate – I, for one, believe that all road users not only owe, but should prioritise a duty of care to each other, whether they're behind a steering wheel, holding handlebars, or simply walking on the pavement – here are some of the best, and most nonsensical, quotes from the afternoon.
I am not anti-cyclist. However...
Lord Macpherson of Earl's Court
We should consider, for instance, legally requiring cyclists to wear helmets and high-vis jackets.
Lord Birt, who calls cyclists 'bikers'
The problem is not just ignoring red lights; it is not giving way to pedestrian crossings, going up on the pavement, squeezing through gaps, and undertaking, to name a few. It shows the darker side of Mario Cipollini's oft-misused cycling quotation: "If you brake, you don't win"
Baronness Hodgson of Abinger
I thought that electronic chips on bikes might be a solution—it works for my cat.
Lord Hampton
I believe we need regulation for current cyclists because their behaviour is, at times, becoming a bit like plague of mosquitoes. You simply cannot get them away from you when you get to traffic lights.
Lord Hastings of Scarisbrick
A bit of context before this next one: Lord Hogan-Howe was the person who secured and kicked off the debate. Below, he suggests that cyclists should be tried under laws that predate the invention of the modern bicycle.
There is a further offence, a very old one from the Offences against the Person Act 1861, called furious driving of a carriage. Obviously that law was for other times, but cycling can be pulled within it if there is a serious injury.
Lord Hogan-Howe
There was, of course, some balance to the debate. The following quotes show a particular solidarity towards cyclists.
The first comes in response to Lord Hogan-Howe's remark that "for fit people, through muscle power, 30 miles an hour is easily attainable on the flat".
I congratulate the noble Lord, Lord Hogan-Howe, because if he thinks it is easy to ride a bike at 30mph on the flat, he should have been in the British Olympic team and not a Member of the House of Lords.
Lord Austin of Dudley
Do we want to have a licence to walk? That would be fun.
Lord Berkeley (ironic tone)
If one is so bold as to indicate to one of the many delivery drivers on e-scooters or mopeds beside you, or those with L-plates, that they are infringing on a bicyclist's space, as the noble Lord said, you will receive a lot of finger pointing—usually, in my experience, in an upwards direction.
Lord Russell of Liverpool
When I first became a local government councillor, I had some advice from a very wise council officer that I should never allow myself to get in the middle of an argument between the pro-dog and anti-dog people. Similar sort of advice might apply, I discovered later in life, regarding the pro-cycling and anti-cycling people.
Lord Moylan
And finally, perhaps most poignantly...
If you want to deter healthy cycling, you will overregulate it.
Lord Robathan
