It’s become somewhat of a tradition here at Sports Illustrated to craft haikus describing each MLB team’s campaign once the regular season comes to a close. Well, we’ve just about reached that point. And while the final two National League playoff spots may not be decided until Monday, we have enough information to capture the essence of each team.
Without further ado, here are our 2024 haikus.
Arizona Diamondbacks
Pitching staff letdown
League’s highest-scoring offense
Should equal more wins
Atlanta Braves
Injuries hit hard
Seems like it’s just not their year
But can’t count them out
Baltimore Orioles
Youth movement complete
Great expectations on deck
Still need more pitching
Boston Red Sox
Slowly but surely
The Red Sox are reloading
Spending spree awaits?
Chicago Cubs
Craig Counsell arrived
Still placed behind his old team
Bullpen must improve
Chicago White Sox
We knew they’d be bad
But who thought this was coming?
Humiliating
Cincinnati Reds
Big disappointment
Every young bat stagnated
Except for Elly
Cleveland Guardians
Best of great Central
Despite starter injuries
Vogt: inspired hire
Colorado Rockies
So, what’s the plan here?
100 losses, again
Rudderless Rockies
Detroit Tigers
Skubal won the Cy
Young hitters turned the corner
Suddenly, playoffs?
Houston Astros
Left for dead by May
Yet alive in October
They still own the West
Kansas City Royals
What a turnaround
Pitching makeover: Success
Need a few bats, though
Los Angeles Angels
Playoff drought persists
No Shohei, many problems
Please let Mike Trout go
Los Angeles Dodgers
Shohei stole the show
But the whole lineup can rake
Title is in sight
Miami Marlins
Bruce Sherman’s new film:
How to Lose a Playoff Team
Get out of there, Skip
Milwaukee Brewers
Crew keeps on chugging
No Craig, no Stearns, no problem
How do they do it?
Minnesota Twins
From playoff win drought
To rough September collapse
Tough pill to swallow
New York Mets
Ahead of schedule
Lindor’s best season in Queens
OMG … Grimace
New York Yankees
Judge, Soto carried
Only October matters
Do or die for Boone
Oakland Athletics
A’s fans deserved more
Sacramento, here we come
Sell the team, Fisher
Philadelphia Phillies
Team on a mission
Dethroned Braves in division
Built for October
Pittsburgh Pirates
Skenes brought excitement
Cheap lineup gave cheap results
Future looking bright
San Diego Padres
Preller strikes again
Reloaded squad looking good
Seidler would be proud
San Francisco Giants
Stuck in no man’s land
New manager, same results
Farhan on hot seat
Seattle Mariners
Bats never woke up
Wasting a great rotation
So close yet so far
St. Louis Cardinals
Old arms ate innings
But Nolan, Goldy declined
Time to turn the page
Tampa Bay Rays
Not enough sluggers
Arms not up to Rays’ high bar
Mediocrity
Texas Rangers
Series hangover?
Never got hot or healthy
Throw it out; move on
Toronto Blue Jays
Vladdy needs some help
If he’s gonna stick around
Tough choices ahead
Washington Nationals
Growing pains are tough
But despite the poor record
Long-term core looks good
This article was originally published on www.si.com as A Haiku for Every MLB Team.
