Another groom has been brutally dragged by the hairs on his chinny chin chin over his short and shitty wedding vows.
It’s only been a couple of months since another groom was completely obliterated online for his behaviour at his wedding, but the internet is the gift that keeps on giving. The gift being shitty wedding stories, with video/photo evidence, going hyper-viral and me lapping it all up.
The latest wedding nightmare story comes from Videographer Samuel Foree (@ckentertainmentservices) who posted a TikTok that urged future grooms to write their vows in advance after he captured this terrible, terrible wedding ceremony.
“FELLAS, this is your sign to go write those vows…now,” Forree wrote in the caption of his TikTok which now has more than 9.1 million views.
In the viral TikTok, the groom, who is known as Cody, began (and ended) his vows by promising to always smack his wife’s bunda.
“I promise to smack that (bleep) every chance I get,” the groom said, following his promise with an enthusiastic “BOOYAH”. Ugh, more like boo-nah.
“That’s all I got,” Cody added.
The officiant tried to save this groom by asking him, “Is that it?” But unfortunately, Cody didn’t take the help and said “yeah” before laughing at his own antics.
“Come on, Cody,” one bystander can be heard through the groom’s cackles.
Remarkably, the officiant tried to help him a second time, asking Cody “Are you sure?”
Instead of righting his wrongs — such as talking about how much he loves his partner, their future or even saying the cliché “through thick and thin” line — the groom said he “didn’t write anything out” and that promising to smack da booty was what he’s “going with”.
“We’ve made it this long,” he said, ending the vows part of their ceremony.
Ummm? Bride, blink twice if you need help from this bozo.
Since Videographer shared the TikTok, folks have dragged the groom for not only his lack of vows but also his demeanour throughout the excruciating exchange.
“‘I didn’t write nothing out’ AKA ‘I put no effort into the most important day in our relationship thus far,'” one person wrote.
“I just need the full vid cause no way she said I do,” a second person commented.
“I’m sure she planned the whole wedding from the table cloths to his damn suit, and he couldn’t say a few words to express his love for her,” wrote a third.
If you listen back and watch the video, no one is laughing at this groom. Just him. Him being a BOZO and the officiant trying to make things better.
In March, a groom was dragged until kingdom come after punters debated if his vows were sexist or not.
To give you a TL;DR on that cluster fuck: wedding photographer Jonathan Pajack (@lensculture) uploaded a video of groom Michael Lentini telling his bride Destiny Lentiti that the “two things” that are “required to keep [him] happy”.
“Keep my belly full and my balls empty,” Lentini said.
He continued by saying she needed cooking lessons and a whole bunch of other shit that had me clutching my pearls.
Just like the video above, folks were quite concerned with the groom’s actions and flocked to the comments with their two cents. The bride eventually commented on the OG video saying her husband’s actions are not a “red flag” and that they’ve “been together for 10 years”.
I’ve only just entered the wedding phase of my life, so I’m very new to these kinds of events, but even I know that this is icky behaviour. I would hate to be in attendance at both of these weddings.
And it’s not that I hate humour or rowdy humour, it’s just that those vows were not funny and were just tasteless. A big ol’ gasp and yawn if you ask.
As Simon Cowell once said: “It’s a no from me.”
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