Name a better place to make bad decisions than your office Christmas party. A bunch of burnt-out hard workers who know how to let loose and party equally as hard? You best believe there’ll be some stories to share over the water cooler the following Monday.
A work Christmas party hookup is a tale as old as time. There’s always those two who have been giving each other ~eyes~ for the past six months, and all of a sudden, they’re nowhere to be found — but you know what they’re getting up to in the toilet cubicle.
We all know someone (or been the someone) guilty of an office Christmas party hook up. However, sex toy brand Girls Get Off surveyed 4,000 of its followers, and only 26 per cent admitted to getting it on with a coworker.
In my humble opinion, I think that number is much higher. Alas, we’ll have to keep on speculating for now.
To our absolute delight, seven of the 26 per cent who admitted to hooking up with a coworker at their office Christmas party were happy to dish out all the dirt on what went down in their respective scenarios. Some end in marriage, others end in HR violations.
Strap in, folks!
7 Office Christmas Party Hook Up Stories That Have Us Anxiously Awaiting Our Own
Twas the night before Christmas (and 0 hours of sleep)
It all started 8 years ago when my (now) husband and I hooked up at a Christmas party. It’s still the best night of my life and started when this spunk with gorg blue eyes came up to me at the bar. I’d had just enough to drink to be confident, not cocky, and the butterflies in my tummy was the perfect encouragement to make things a little bit flirty. We ended up talking all night long, and after a cheeky dance, he came back to mine to stay the night (with quite a limited amount of sleep involved).
The next day, when we finally got out of bed around lunchtime, he realised he didn’t have spare contact lenses, nor a phone charger that fit his phone, so he was blind and lost in the city, over an hour away from home. He insisted on trying to catch the train home, but I told him I’d drive him because I felt kinda guilty and if we’re being completely honest, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I wanted to hang some more, so we jumped in my car and spent the more than hour and a half long car ride comparing music tastes with a big ol’ make out sesh when I dropped him off. We’ve been together ever since.
Sleigh bells, shots & the manager
It might be as cliché as it gets, but I hooked up with one of my managers at a work Christmas party. We worked at a pub, and anyone who has worked hospo life knows those Christmas parties are absolutely insane. At the time, he was the manager of the overall pub, and I was one of the chefs in the kitchen. Things had been heating up between us for a while (no pun intended), we made eyes, had flirty exchanges, the lot and when the Christmas party came, a few shots helped us take things over the line. We then started secretly sleeping together afterwards (even sneaking off at work sometimes, oops)… I think my coworkers started finding out after six months. We are now coming up on 10 years together, happily married!
Blacked out on eggnog
I worked for a family business that was mainly men — I’m talking truckers and heavy machine operators, all aged 40+. For some reason, I decided it was a really good idea to get black out drunk at our Christmas work party hosted at the boss’s place. Not tipsy drunk, not passed-out drunk, not even high-on-life-drunk, but completely black out and being a menace drunk.
At one point, I took off all my clothes, kept jumping in the pool, refused to put clothes on, drank everyone’s drink (seriously, not even the eggnog was safe… and I hate eggnog), and I lap danced on some of the workers. Did I hook up with anyone? No, but one coworker thought that was going to happen; instead, I just yapped his ear off and outdrank him instead. The next morning, I woke up with hangxiety to top all hangxiety.
As a good Christian woman, I decided that night would conclude my time attending Christmas work parties with the family business, and I left the year after. Talk about embarrassment.
Christmas in Paris
Some girls want advent calendars in December, some want to watch a new Christmas movie every day, and some, specifically those in their single slutty summer era, want to try a new sex position every day. Hi, that’s me.
I’d recently gotten out of a 5-year relationship and was hooking up with a hottie at work; it wasn’t anything serious; we both wanted to fuck like rabbits, so we were doing this sex challenge in December. When it came time for the Christmas party, we were chatting with one of our colleagues who was a bit loose and told him about our sex challenge suggesting he join in, he laughed at first but later in the night we ditched the party and went back to my place, had a spa, another couple of drinks and before we knew it, the three of us were in my bed. Hottie was in front of me, colleague #2 was behind me, and I spent Christmas at the Eiffel Tower (IYKYK).
Naughty elf
I’d been on/off hooking up with one of my workmates for the past year, and for the days before the Christmas party, things had been really spicy between us. I blame ovulation.
So we turned up at the party, he was dressed as Santa, naturally, I was dressed as a naughty little elf. As the drinks flowed, we were getting handsy and decided to sneak off to one of the backrooms and hook up. One thing led to another, and I ended up giving him a blowie, but just as he came in my mouth, the door was pulled open by one of our other workmates, and I got such a fright that I opened my mouth, and cum spilt all down the front of my costume. I got out of there as fast as I could and went straight home, but it didn’t take long for the rest of our work to find out what happened, and I was nicknamed naughty elf for the rest of the time I worked there.
Naughty, nice & a trip to the doctor’s office
There were about 100 people in our office, so lots of personalities, including one of the main managers, who was always a little too friendly. When it was time for the Christmas party, he told everyone that to get in the door, we all needed to put our keys in a bowl. I was 21 and was planning to make the most of the free booze anyway, so I didn’t really care and kinda thought it was a safety-first kind of thing.
Turns out it was not safety first thing. The man was actually executing a master hookup plan. He wanted us all trapped inside so he could feed us up on alcohol and start hooking up with each other. Throughout the party, he was roaming the room like a deranged Michael Scott Christmas cupid, encouraging people to shoot their shot.
It got a bit uncomfortable, especially when he announced it was time to play spin the bottle, so my friends and I snuck off and thank God we did. A couple of weeks later, the office found out he’d slept with not one but THREE of the staff, and gave them all chlamydia. He was literally spreading festive spirit and bacterial infections.
HR got involved real quick after that, and since then, the Christmas parties have been about as wild as a cup of tea and a plate of gingerbread. The keys stay firmly in everyone’s pockets now.
Gifts from Santa
It’s the annual office Christmas party. The punch is spiked, the DJ is spinning Christmas hits, and everyone’s a little looser than they should be. Sarah from marketing is doing tequila shots off the copier. Tom from sales is tripping near the dessert table to “accidentally” feed chocolate to Emily the intern.
Chairs wobble, drinks spill, glitter is everywhere. Total chaos. Meanwhile… I, the receptionist, have been quietly keeping my distance, pretending to organise the raffle tickets, but really, I’ve been sneaking glances at Santa, who was hired for the party and roaming around with that too-cheerful grin. One thing leads to another, and I slip away from the main floor. Next thing anyone knows, someone walks in on the two of us bent over the conference table, Santa in full red suit, me in a slightly naked, scandalised disbelief.
Back on the dance floor, Tom and Emily are tangled in their “romantic salsa,” glitter is in every drink, and someone, probably Steve from accounting, is filming everything like it’s a reality TV show. The copier is covered in chocolate and glitter. The bathroom door is mysteriously locked. The next day, HR tries to act like nothing happened, but everyone knows the truth. Photos and videos exist. Whispers swirl.
The CEO emails: “Thanks for a spirited holiday party! Let’s try for fewer HR violations next year.” And the legend of “Santa in the conference room” becomes the story everyone tells whenever anyone mentions the office Christmas party… forever.
Yeah, office Christmas parties get pretty wild. Stay safe out there!
Image credit: Brooklyn 99 / Netflix
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