Name: Nachos.
Age: 81.
Appearance: Like a plate of tacos that has fallen on the floor and been scooped up by the waiter.
Whose idea was that? Nachos were invented in 1943 by the Mexican restaurateur Ignacio Anaya (“Nacho” is a common diminutive of Ignacio), allegedly when he found himself without a chef, and topped fried tortilla pieces with melted cheese and jalapeño peppers as an expediency.
Where can I find nachos today? Everywhere, especially the type sometimes called “stadium nachos” or “ballpark nachos” – tortilla chips covered in “pumpable” cheese sauce – which were invented in the US in 1976.
Yum. Yes please. Of course. Coming right up. That will be $60.
Sorry, did you say $60? That’s right – approximately £48.
For nachos? Admittedly, these are surf-and-turf nachos, topped with steak and lobster and served with a souvenir shot glass filled with salsa.
Even so, why are they $60?! Well, they were being served at this year’s Super Bowl at the Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas.
Is all the food at the Super Bowl so expensive? In a word, yes: alongside the deluxe nachos, fans were reporting $13 hotdogs and $17 beers.
That’s ridiculous. I would just bring my own food. You’re not allowed.
Is that why it’s so expensive? Because people have no choice? That’s part of it. Inflation and increased supply chain costs have also driven prices up. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the cheapest Super Bowl tickets cost about $2,000, so there is little point complaining about the nachos.
I suppose stadium food is expensive all over the world. True. Definitely in London. West Ham fans were outraged a few years back when they were being charged £3.65 for a cup of tea. Arsenal fans have been raging at the prospect of paying £27 for a steak sandwich, chips and a drink at the Emirates.
Does someone feed it to you? No. But actually, prices vary widely across the Premier League. A pint at an Arsenal home match costs £6.95, but it’s only £3 at Manchester United.
They’ve got some way to go before they reach Super Bowl levels. They’re certainly heading in that direction. A recent report predicted that the average Premier League pint will hit £9.57 by 2030, with Emirates likely to break the £13 mark.
As long as I live, I will never pay that much for beer. Careful – you have no idea how thirsty you’re going to be in 2030.
Do say: “Eat it carefully – there’s an engagement ring under the sauce.”
Don’t say: “Deliveroo? Yeah, I’m in the east stand, upper tier, block 92, row J, seat 16. That’s me waving.”
