“Karma”: 59 People Open Up About What Happened To Their Bullies

Bullying continues to be a massive issue. If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you may have been a victim at some point in your school life. You’re not alone if you’ve ever wondered what became of the people who used to harass you. In some cases, cosmic justice is served. At other times—not so much.

Some internet users revealed what happened to their school bullies later in life, in a viral and very vulnerable thread on Quora. Read on for their emotional and powerful stories.

A small note of warning: some parts of these tales might make you feel very uncomfortable if you’ve been through something similar in the past, Pandas.

#1

Two boys in my eighth grade class made my life a living hell. 20 years later I went to my reunion and one of them them was there. He came up to me and told me he had flown in from California to apologize to me. I was never so happy in my life.

Image credits: Pat Gerace

#2

Our class bully, Tim, was a real thug. Once Tim demanded my brother’s lunch money, waited until his hand was deep in his pocket, and then punched him when he couldn’t raise his arm to block the punch. At my 10 year reunion another classmate turned out to be working as a guard at our state’s maximum security prison. He told us, “Tim sends his regards but won’t be able to attend reunions for the next 20 years.”

Image credits: Walt Schrengohst

#3

When I first started High School, I had a guy that rode the bus with me every day, and made my life a living hell. His name was David R-. He was 18 years old and still in the tenth grade. He was bigger than me, and cussed like a sailor. He was mean and vicious, and he absolutely scared me to death. I have vivid memories of him sitting behind me on the bus, slapping me in the back of the head as we rode home from school. It happened almost every day. This was 27 years ago and, back then, bullying was just a "common thing." It was something you had to deal with. You had to learn to stand up for yourself and "be a man". I would complain to the bus driver and the principal. Mr. Dave would get a good scolding, but he was right back at it the next day.

Well, after six months of this B/S, I'd finally had enough. I just snapped one day. I turned around and dove over the seat, and started pounding on him. Everyone went crazy. The driver slammed on the brakes, and brought the bus to a stop.

I was getting my tail kicked by this guy. He was bigger, faster and stronger, and the only thing I had on my side, was rage. We were up against the emergency exit, slugging it out, when, all of a sudden, the door just popped open, and we went tumbling into the street.

When we hit the pavement, Mr. Dave had his arm twisted behind his back. He landed on it, and I heard it snap like a piece of kindling. He pushed me off of him, and got up with a bone jutting out of his wrist. He was screaming his head off, and blood was pouring onto the asphalt.

Maybe I should have backed off at that point, but this guy had made my life hell for several months, and I wanted revenge. I twisted his broken arm behind his back, and took him down on the ground where I proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him. There were several cars that had stopped by this time, and it took two grown men to pull me off of him. It was the worst fight I'd ever had in my life, and it remains so to this day. My nose was busted and I had a black eye. Mr. Dave had a broken arm, a busted lip, two missing teeth, and a huge laceration across his forehead. They actually called an ambulance for him.

Both of us were suspended. Dave's mother contacted my dad a few days later, and threatened to sue us. She wanted us to pay for Dave's medical bills. However, I had a bus full of people, who absolutely hated Dave, and all of them were telling the principal about my six months of hell, and insisting that Dave had started the fight.

I was suspended for two weeks. I also got a month of detention, and couldn't ride the bus for the rest of the year, but that was the end of my punishment. As far as I know, Dave never returned to school at all. I didn't see him again for 15 years.

Then, right around 2005, I moved from Mississippi back to my hometown in Georgia. One day as I was walking out of a convenience store, I spotted my old high school bully picking up aluminum cans along the side of the road.

It totally shocked me, and I wasn't absolutely sure that it was really him. After all, it had been 15 years. Still, I was PRETTY sure. So, I strolled over to the edge of the parking lot for a better look. Just as I walked up, he turned to stare at me, and I recognized him beyond a shadow of doubt. I'm not very good with names, but I rarely forget a face.

He looked terrible. His hair was long. He hadn't shaved in several days. His clothes were torn and ragged, and he smelled like a wet dog. He was very thin and dirty, and half of his teeth appeared to be missing. He also had an old duffle bag slung across his shoulder, and I got the distinct impression that he was homeless.

"I'm sorry, you're David R-, aren't you?" I asked.
His eyes brightened for a moment, and he looked at me long and hard before responding. "Yeah, who are you?"

My first impulse was to tell him. I wanted to remind him of all those days that he had harassed the hell out of me, and then ask him if he remembered our little brawl and his trip to the hospital. Then I wanted to let him know how much money I had made the year before, and tell him all about the new job I had just started down in Atlanta. Instead, I just stood there, staring at him.

"I think we might have gone to school together," I replied.
His eyes narrowed again, and he really studied my face. Still, I don't think he had a clue who I was. Apparently, I had changed a lot in 15 years.

"What's your name?" He finally asked.
I shook my head. "Not important", I replied. I dug in my wallet, and pulled out a ten dollar bill. I held it out to him, and he took it. I said, "God bless", and then slowly walked away.

The only thing I felt for him, was pity.

Image credits: John Brooks

According to ‘Stop Bullying,’ a website managed by the US Department of Health and Human Services, there isn’t a single profile of a young person involved in bullying. Bullies are very varied, from socially connected youths to those who are marginalized. In some cases, those who are bullied start bullying others themselves.

There are no easy or simple solutions to bullying. The issue requires a complex approach, “from many angles,” which includes the entire school community: from students and teachers to families and administrators. These solutions also require involving school staff from drivers and nurses to cafeteria workers, too.

#4

Well since a lot has happened since then I felt it was best to go anonymous. Also it is long so my apologies.

It started in kindergarten. My bully, every single school day he saw me, would do something to me. It continued everyday until one day in the 6th grade. What happened? Well the week before school started my appendix burst. I was in the hospital that week and the week after I stayed home from school. So on the second day back during “recess” I asked if it was ok to go outside. I explained that I was tired of being inside all the time and I just wanted some fresh air.

The principal gave me permission, so after lunch I went outside with everybody else. I decided to stay out of the way and stay near one of the teachers. Well some of the students caused a bit of a problem and the teacher walked over to take care of it. Well I decided to wait where I was because I had spotted the bully in that group. What I didn't know was that he had them start the distraction to get to me. Apparently the entire summer plus the extra week I was home put him in a mood to get me.

Well he thought it would be funny to hit me in the gut. What he didn't realize was that unlike most appendectomies my incision wasn't on the right side. It was a few inches below my belly button.

So he hit me and I went down hard and in extreme pain. Now one thing that I had to do was before lunch, I had to change the bandage. I would go to the nurse’s office and do this myself, but the nurse knew where the incision was.

Well the hit caused that area to start bleeding, pretty badly. The nurse felt it best to call an ambulance and I was off to the hospital for a second time in as many weeks.

They were able to stop the bleeding and patch me up again but for me it was the last straw with this guy. My parents finally said screw it and pressed charges. So on the date he was being tried I went to court. The judge was going to go easy on him until he saw the bandage. Then the bully decided he wanted to have his say.

The bully blamed me for everything and he was just “goofing around” and that he didn't know I had a surgery. Everybody else knew but not him. The judge found him guilty and then asked me if I wanted to make a statement before he was sentenced. I nodded and stood. I found the statement that I had written not too long ago so I figure I will put down what I said.

“Since the first week we met in kindergarten, he has made my life a living hell. Imagine being 11 years old, laying in a hospital bed for a week. You get to come home to another bed, for one more week. Then you get to go to school but you are indoors in the office while your classmates go outside. You ask to go outside for some fresh air. You get that chance. Then your bully sends you back to the hospital for another week. You come back and you get punished for getting hit. He gets away with it. When will this horror stop for me? Is it when I am dead? I ask that his punishment is long enough that I can finally be left alone for a bit.”

The judge decided to sentence him to 2 years in juvenile hall. So I see him again when we are in the eighth grade. He left me alone. Fast forward a few years later and my sister calls me. Apparently he was trying to find me. Well he didn't know I came out as transgender. So I ask my sister what he wanted and she replied that he wanted to apologize.

So I decided to meet him at our local coffee shop one afternoon. I saw him but he didn't recognize me. I walked over to him and said his name. He looked at me for a second and then some recognition came. We sat and talked and he did apologize. Then he shocked me by thanking me. He thanked me for standing up in court and telling the judge how I felt. It made him feel guilty and he decided while he was in juvie to change his ways.

I did not realize that after he came back he stopped other people from bullying me. He did this all the way through high school. Now we are actually friends and he is one of my biggest supporter

#5

Keep in mind that all this happened in the early 1970’s in rural Georgia, where a valid excuse for vehicular homicide was, “Well, yeah, I ran over him, but you see, Your Honor, I was drunk at the time.” That is, assuming you knew the judge.

While in high school, there was a guy in the grade ahead of mine who wasn’t ONLY a bully on campus. He was one of the terrors of the county. (His father - in prison at the time - had been of the same mindset a generation earlier, and the apple fell pretty damn close to the tree.) He picked on me, but he was an equal-opportunity bully. We all gave him a wide berth. He had a small posse of hangers-on who would aid in identifying victims, or in the actual beatings.

This kid was huge. Around 6′2″, and a WALL of muscle; he worked out constantly and had some training in karate (as if he needed it). He put two guys I knew in the hospital and got three girls pregnant. Basically a badass tornado who delighted in the pain of others. How he stayed out of jail has always been a mystery to me.

He always had money. The rumor (one of them) was that his father had robbed a bank, and the kid had access to the loot. I have no hard evidence either way, but he had lots of cash, and didn’t have a job. I could do the math.

In any case, he drove a nice Mustang. He drove it really, really fast, around twisting rural roads.

One day a friend of mine came up to me in school. He had this incredulous grin on his face as he asked me, “Did you hear about [bully]?”

As usual when his name came up, I hunched and got a chill. “No. What about him?”

“He wrapped his car around a tree last night.”

“… And?”

“He’s dead.”

The incredulous grin came to rest on my face as well. The thought of not being forced to watch my back all the time … the thought of being able to dress out for PE without picking up a new bruise … the thought of never, ever seeing his smug smirk looming over me, ever again, ever …

Word spread quickly. It was as if the entire school drew a relieved breath.

None of us went to the funeral. Not a single classmate. I regret nothing.

#6

In my case it wasn't the school bully but the mean girls. There's nothing nastier than an entitled teenager.

Many years later I'm on my way back to the office after lunch. I had lost a lot of weight and my hair is still mostly black despite my age. I've been told many times that I look much younger than my years.

There was a woman getting out of her car in the parking lot across from my office. She was one of the mean girls at my high school. She hadn't aged well and had become very large. Despite this, I recognised her and I could tell by the look on her face that she also recognised me.

I was having a good hair day and enjoying the weather. I smiled, waved and continued on my way.

Everyone plays an important part in creating a culture of respect, including bystanders, who can have a massive impact if they intervene when they see or learn about someone being harassed.

‘Stop Bullying’ notes that a zero-tolerance approach to bullying is not an effective approach. Nor is expulsion. What is effective, however, is focusing on a model of kindness and respect, when adults talk to children about bullying, encourage them to do what they love, and seek help when necessary.

#7

I had a school bully who used to bully and intimidate me in front of girls, he was much taller and stronger than me. Complaining to the teachers did not help.

I planned to take him on my own, and once when he was unaware, I pushed him down the stairs. He went rolling down like 15 stairs, and I followed behind him and kicked him in his stomach and on his face. One teacher broke up the fight, and separated me from him. The teachers scolded me, but I was too angry to hear her rant , I was totally unaffected by what the teacher was saying. Ultimately, the teachers punished me and called me a shameless fellow.

Next day, our parents were called in school in the principal's office. The principal was out somewhere, and both the fathers started discussing what had happened. I had already told my father everything.

To my and my father's surprise, the bulleys father apologized to my dad for his sons behavior, my father was surprised and said that they are kids fights happen, you don't need to apologize. The bullet's father then went down on one knee and apologized to me for his son's behavior. He also made his son apologize to me.

Just then the principal came and started complaining to my father about my behavior. The bulleys father intervened, said his son deserved worse and he has no complaints. Basically everyone left the principal's office things sorted out.

But from the next day, the behavior of the bully changed, not only towards me but towards everyone in the class. He became more humble, more studious. He also used to break up fights, but never raised his hands on anyone except to defend. Basically later he got a lot of friends. We both also became friends and are still friends 25 years later.

I later learned that his father is a very rich industrialist's owning 5 factories. He easily had the clout to teach me a lesson, he admonished and disciplined his son instead. Today my friend looks after his father's business and has clients in many countries, he is a successful industrialist.

#8

My elementary bully was one of those girls who insisted she was cute, popular, and the best at everything, so everyone else should go to hell. I mean, she would try to suck me into all these sorts of contests that were so pointless and meaningless because it would be me against her and her two best friends. Singing contest? Her friends vote for her. Beauty contest? Her friends vote for her. In other words, stupid stuff that people like me should never be subjected to. It was humiliating for me, especially since I didn’t want any part of it, and on top of that it hurt my feelings all the time because they had zero respect for me whatsoever.

Fast forward ten years.

I received a call just a couple months ago from her. I had no clue who she was (I still don’t quite remember her or all the atrocities she forced on me), but she knew me. She even introduced herself as the girl who bullied me constantly. Turns out, she has no friends, she dropped out of high school, and has no future to look forward to. She said she needed a friend because her friends had ditched her, and she was so ruthless to everyone else in school that no one wanted to even be around her. So, without even apologizing for anything she did as a child, she asked if we could get together sometime for coffee or lunch and we could chat and catch up. I told her I’d think about it, and hung up. I have not, and will not, call her back.

I might be rude for doing so, but she really f**ked things up as a kid. She’s learning now just what kind of hellish fury she unleashed on everyone, as what goes around comes back around.

Image credits: Vaan Cotton

#9

He wasn’t a bully, but I knew this dude in 7th grade who was a homophobe and would make snarky remarks about gay people and frequently use the f-slur to describe people/things he didn’t like. Other than that, he was a pretty cool guy, but I wasn’t trying to hate-crimed in my homophobic school, so I definitely wasn’t going to tell him about my sexuality. Me and him were in the gifted program together so we were bound to become friends at least.

A year passes and I’m no longer at that school, and I lose contact with him.

I get into contact with this girl from the gifted program that I was really close with before I had to move schools/states. I DMed her on Instagram and we had a lovely conversation and I brought up the question, “Hey, do you know what happened to the other people in the gifted program/GT?”

She began listing off all the people and how they’re doing since I hadn’t seen them in over a year.

“What about Liam (fake name of the homophobic dude)?”

“Liam? Oh, he has a boyfriend now!”

“HE WHA-”

I couldn’t believe it, this dude who made homophobic jokes about gay people was actually gay? I mean, was anyone really surprised? The outwardly homophobic people have always been a bit sus to me. I mean, why do they care so much about what other guys are doing with each other in their free time? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Image credits: Yui Lee

In the United States, nearly a fifth (19.2%) of students aged 12 to 18 experienced bullying in the 2021-2022 school year. This is lower compared to the 2018-2019 school year when 22% of students were victims of bullying.

Meanwhile, the situation was even worse in 2010-2011, when nearly a third (28%) of students were bullied.

#10

He was one of the most violent bullies I ever had, and I had plenty. He stabbed me in the shoulder with a pencil when we were six; made the entire school hate me because I was wearing glassess. He was constantly telling me that I was ugly and that nobody would ever love me. This continued all through high school, too. He would go behind me and call me names in a mocking way. He made other classes do the same. Completely shattered my self esteem. I badly function in society because of that.

When we got out of school, he had a terrible motorbike crash and was in a coma for a long time. Despite him being the main reason I have social anxiety, I didn’t want him to die. I never wanted to see him again, but he didn’t have to die.

He survived. And kept saying hello and asking for my well being whenever we met. It was awkward and I was cold, but not impolite. I will never give him a second chance. I know that this near death experience had made him repent and want to make amends. Something I’ll never allow.

Image credits: Milica Cvejovic

#11

The school bully, I’ll call him Mike. He wasn’t big or strong, he dressed smart and he had his little gang of enforcers – three of them. They weren’t out to bully me specifically, but they were a pain. My best pal they decided was gay – which isn’t such a big deal these days, but in the 70s it was a real slur, and they kept banging on about it all through High School. Relentlessly. He wasn’t gay of course, he left school got married and had 4 kids!

Anyway, Mike was the ‘leader’ of our school year, the most important guy. He wasn’t clever, wasn’t great at sports but he was ‘the man’. I remember one time where he wanted me to play piano in a music lesson before the teacher showed up, he grabbed my lapels and dragged me over to the instrument just as the teacher came in. Felt pretty humiliating in front of the class.

I endured high school then left. Roll on many years and we were 50 years old. I got a friend request from him on Facebook. I thought whaaaa?!??!? That annoying jerk from school! I accepted, but sent a rude sweary reply telling him that he and his friends were a right bunch of *********’s back then. He didn’t reply, so we were ‘friends’ on facebook. A while later, a woman from school who was also on Facebook suggested that the three of us should meet up down the pub. A first I thought no, but then I thought what the hell, I can always walk out.

So, the three of us met up and ended having a lovely 5 hours of reminiscing about school days! Mike, was unrecognisable. He was very thin, very humble, and very embarrassed about the person he was back then. He seemed kind now, he met and married a woman who had three young daughters and he was a good father to them. He spent his life in a fairly dead end job, where he was basically nobody. His ‘days in the sun’ were all at school where he was important.

So, he turned out to be a lovely person, but sadly 8 months later he was gone. He got pneumonia and it finished him off. It was sad, but I was glad that I could remember him as a lovely person in later life rather than the bully at school.

Image credits: Jon White

#12

In 6th grade, this one kid tried bullying me. He made fun of me in the locker room and shoved me around on the bus rides home. I was pretty unfazed though, so he must’ve gotten bored and just stopped.

I’m a second year in college now. I looked him up on Facebook out of the blue just to see how people from my childhood are doing. I didn’t even see the “Remembering…” on his profile until my girlfriend pointed it out. Turns out he was driving home at around 3am, wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, and hit a tree.

I have no fond memories of him, but I also have no hard feelings. At the end of the day, he was someone’s son, someone’s brother, someone’s friend and it’s tragic what happened.

Rest in peace.

Image credits: David Zhao

Have you ever been a victim of bullying, dear Pandas? On the other hand, have you ever resorted to bullying anyone yourselves? Do you know what happened to your bullies after they left school?

It’s a very sensitive topic, but if you feel up for being vulnerable, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

#13

I just Googled him and immediately found his mug shot. Looks like he was busted for possession of drugs.

Probably m*th, like most of the other people who never left my hometown.

Image credits: Matthew Bates

#14

B., my high school ‘friend’, was also somewhat of a bully. In her case, it was about taking opportunities to put me down, by constantly mentioning the wealth and status of her parents, to denigrate my chaotic blended family, to point out all the nice shiny new things she had. She would also laugh at my shabby wardrobe.

I suppose I remained ‘friends’ with her because I am not much of a mixer.

One day, when I proudly donned a brand new two-piece swimming costume - bright yellow with navy blue and white trim, she sniffed and said” You should give that to me. I am used to having new things and you aren’t. I’ll give you one of my old bathing suits.”

Something died in me that day, but I stuck to my guns and kept my new bathing suit. I suppose that my ‘revenge’ at the time was to do better than her in exams…..

We never stayed in touch after high school.

I did see her a couple of times at our alma mater - the last time, in 2012 when I attended a reunion of our class. I found the experience to be dull, and realised that I had nothing in common with her or anyone else who had been in my class, any longer.

Her life has been turbulent, with two nasty divorces and troubles with her children. Mine? Interesting, varied, married for many years to my husband, from our partner boys’ school, and our two children are adventurous, accomplished, kind and loving.

Image credits: Arlene Walsh

#15

In fourth grade (he was in fifth), on the first day of class, our bully told me I had to give him $5.00 by the last day of school or he’d beat me up (this was a lot of money back then). It turns out he forgot about it, but I didn’t.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I Googled him and found out that he was sentenced to ten years in prison in Texas for selling a house that didn’t belong to him.

I just checked again, having seen this question, and apparently he’s defrauding folks via a home remodeling business (a dissatisfied customer had doxed him). So, I’m guessing he’ll end up broke, in jail, or both.

Image credits: Vince Star

#16

My bully in high school was a guy who was about 2 inches taller than me, and he and another tall guy hung out together hazed and harassed and believe anybody they could. I had a locker right next to theirs, but I wasn't really afraid of them. I wasn't impressed at all. So their attempts to bully me sort of fizzled out.
They were impossible to ignore, but they weren't particularly bothersome, so I guess I didn't have much of a bullying experience. I think that guy got injured when he was working at a car wash and had part of his foot amputated in his early twenties. I still kind of feel bad for him. He never developed any social skills, and he could barely walk. I think he lived with his mother until she died, and he might still be living in her house now. I don't get any joy out of knowing this.

Image credits: Ross Keeling

#17

I had a couple of those.

One “popular girl” used to call me dyke geek (I’m not homosexual, but have many gay friends) because I played basketball and volleyball and a lot of the guys she liked were my friends through sports. However, she thought that I liked those guys too (I did, a little bit). She saw me as a threat because they used to talk to me at lunch. To get back at me, she started telling everyone I went to Oakland to sleep with black men on the weekends. It kinda backfired, because all those guys asked me if it was true. My answer was, “I wish”. Those guys all laughed at the rumor along with me. She never got to date any of those guys that she liked.

Today, she is an unwed single mother with 3 kids from different baby daddies. In a way, I’m glad she had fun sleeping around, but she is 30 with the oldest one at 12 years old.

I’m praying for her sort of.

Image credits: Katie Perez

#18

There was this one jerk in seventh grade that made my life rather miserable that year and as result I developed a sort of superstition about the number 7 - when staying at hotels I requested that any room is fine, just as long as it wasn’t on the 7th floor, tried to avoid selecting a seat in the seventh row on airplane flights (usually not a problem because the 7th row is usually in first class anyway), avoided walking on any “7th” street if it was in a city that had one, etc. Silly I suppose but it’s how I dealt with the problem. I no longer have that superstition I’m happy to say.

Anyway, this guy harassed and picked on me in music and gym class probably because I had no friends in those classes and was an easy target, calling me a “faggot”, pushing me so I bumped into a girl and then alleged I wanted to have sex with her, made fun of my shoes and clothes, called me every nasty name he could come up with and a lot more I’ve just chosen to forget. Fighting back was pretty hopeless given his size and friends, reporting him to the teachers or principal stopped him only temporarily given his lack of respect for any authority and already being on a first-name basis with the detention room monitors. He was one of those “tough” kids who frequently skipped class and was always in the lower level academic classes, so I didn’t see too much of him after 7th grade.

Many years later and a few years after graduating college, I’m in my hometown visiting my parents and reading the local paper, seeing the crime blotter and read about him being arrested in a domestic incident with some woman he apparently had a child with but was not married to. Curious, I do a few Google searches and find out he’s served stints in prison for armed robbery in both New York and Pennsylvania, has fathered five children from three different women and has frequently been on the county’s child support delinquency list. I know this sounds all too stereotypical of a story but I’m not making it up. I take no pleasure in any of this and feel bad for the children he’s fathered but it all comes as no real surprise to me. The strange thing is, from what I could tell he didn’t come from a “broken” home - I later learned both his parents were college graduates (he of course never went at all) and his father had a good job as a city planner.

I also found him on Facebook where he’s posted a few pictures of himself smoking weed as well as cigarettes and stating that he used to work at McDonald’s and is now a stay-at-home parent (can only hope he has the sense not to smoke in front of his kids but given his track record I doubt it).

Image credits: Chris Johnson

#19

Divorced with two kids working at a car detailing shop and barely making ends meet constantly bugging friends and old classmates for loans and get rich quick schemes. Living in a two bedroom apartment with three other people. He lost everything in the divorce his home his business his investments and is saddled with a crippling alimony and child support payment every month.

Even though I took multiple beatings and humiliation from him growing up I do feel bad for him and try to help him as much as I can he’s still a human being and he’s fallen on hard times. After I paid off his utilities bill a few months back he actually apologized for the way he acted in school and he wished the times we spent in school never happened like it did.

Image credits: Ryan Bessemer

#20

One of the school bullies in our high school was a particularly violent chap. He temper was short like his height but he was mighty strong and had a lot of pent up anger for some reason.

This guy punched people just for looking at him the wrong way, true story too. He once broke a guy’s nose against a locker for giving him ‘evils’ (evil eyes) briefly.

He used to brag about how he was going to join the army and “shoot up some pakis”. Definitely not the type of person I would have wanted in the army.

So years later, after graduation, I met up with another friend for drinks and we went out to a local bar. Inside, we found none other than the school bully serving our drinks. We pretended like we didn’t know each other of course and so we got our drinks and went to sit down.

My friend said he couldn’t get in the army because he was too short.

I found it quite hilarious actually. Eventually school bullies leave school and realise that violence doesn’t get you very far.

Image credits: Yvette Renshy

#21

My school bully, was the ultimate a**hole. In elementary school, the bully Randy would make fun of and berate old folks quietly taking their morning walks, by our bus stop. He would play jokes and make fun of handicapped, prank on nerdy students, just to get laughs from other classmates. Randy thought he owned the school. He would steal milk from random kids lunch trays, because he knew nobody would challenge him. His antics disrupted the entire classroom, as many teachers found his constant inappropriate behavior totally uncontrollable. Randy’s entire early school years were spent making mockeries of anyone he chose.

Then, after graduating High School he became a depressed alcoholic, as he failed to gain the audience he enjoyed in elementary and middle schools. His dad was a successful contractor and Randy was poised to inherit the business entirely, being an only child. He was crossing a busy street one day after having an argument with a bar patron while drunk and walked straight into a speeding vehicle, killing him instantly at 21 years of age.

Moral of his story? Be kind to others, for karma will run over your dogma…

Image credits: Zachary Abelardo

#22

My bully followed me from elementary school to high school. She had her moments where she could act nice then others where she was extremely rude made my life hell. She had a lot of health issues- she was obese and had asthma due to it too. I graduated high school and moved on to college and I received an invitation to her funeral on Facebook. She had passed away from health complications.

Image credits: Sar Ita

#23

I married her.

I met this girl in grade school. She bullied me relentlessly for years. Of course a boy being bullied by a girl back in grade school inspired more bullying by other kids. Then in the 7th grade she left our school and I was relieved for her to be gone. Then when I entered high school a few years later I bumped into her again in one of my classes. She didn't seem to remember me but I remembered her. Funny thing was, she had become a very friendly person by this point. I had no idea what inspired this change in her but it would make me chuckle sometimes. We were never really friends in high school but we shared a few classes. Had a few friendly conversations.

Then I went to college and again didn't see her for a few years.

A few years after college I returned to my hometown and ran into her again (obviously). We really hit it off this time around. We fell in love and we are now married and have children together. My having a bully was the best thing that ever happened to me. I even look back on our grade school years fondly now.

Image credits: Joel Rice

#24

He did his degree, masters…, his school bully meanwhile is a college dropout who was fired from his job due to bad behavior, making it hard for him to find a job, he meanwhile started his own business, but he wanted revenge on that bully, knowing the Character of the bully very well, knowing what provoked him, he then called the bully and then agreed to give him a job, and he gave him finance part, which he knew the bully will steal the money.

So after a month he did an audit and found out some stolen money, which the bully started giving excuses, he gave the bully the full account proof of how much was missing which was a small amount, then filed a lawsuit against him, cut his salary due to looses, the guy has nothing has to pay to court with nothing! then showed proof of him stealing money from the register with a security camera!, had to use his parents money for his lawyer, then ended up being imprisoned for fraud for a month!, pretty much ruined his life, as any company hiring him would see this crime!, he took great and an evil revenge!

Image credits: Justin Simon

#25

You’re probably not going to believe me, but this is a true story. I was constantly bullied as a kid by this one guy in the neighborhood. He didn’t miss a chance to pick on me. It seems like everywhere I went, he would show up and start trouble with me. He even bullied me one night on Halloween with a group of his evil friends. They held my brother back while this guy grabbed my bag of candy, and threw it all over the place.

Years later, I heard he had joined a motorcycle gang. I was told that he was out driving alone on the highway, and tried to pass a car that was slowing him down. As he was going past the car, he made an error, and hit an oncoming truck. I was told his bike was crushed as it slid under the truck’s wheels, and he died.

Image credits: David Giles

#26

Well call him John

John no longer has a great future.

In the UK, we get what we call Chavs. Chavs are the equivalent to delinquents and overall dont care about society. Now lets travel back a few years (2007–2011)

Now little john here was a grade A chav and had no care for others. He bullied me for 5 years in primary school. I have suffered psychological torment from him and I still have not recovered fully from those years. Today, I fully believe that my childhood was ruined by this low life thug who couldn't care less about anything in life.

Now fast forward to the present

John has been arrested for vandalism and for drinking. Even today he still doesn't care about anything. He remains the in the past and everyone who he interacted with has moved on. With his current direction, he will not have a bright future.

What do I think of this?

He deserves to have no future. I couldn't care less if he was in trouble or if needed help. He caused it on himself and will reap from what he planted. Usually, I will never harbour any hostile feelings for anyone in the past, but this guy deserves everything he gets.

Image credits: Mathew Halley

#27

Got the email inviting me to the reunion, and declined it. Then received a series of emails from people I'd known, trying to encourage me to attend with them. Turned them all down, politely, with one excuse or another.

Couldn't tell them the truth, which was that I was afraid. Oh, not afraid of the guy who made my life hell, just for his own amusement, and because I was so small for my age. No, I was afraid that--now that I'm 6′1 and 220 pounds--I might wind up in jail at the end of the evening for breaking a certain someone's nose. And possibly both arms.

A followup email arrived from the organizers with more details about the event, and this time included a list of those classmates who had sadly passed. His name was on it.

Had a great time at the reunion.

#28

I remember what happened to one bully from elementary school. He was always getting into fights on the playground, always intimidating people, scaring them.

He k*lled his father.

Guess he was just a bad apple, right? A psychopath?

Maybe not.

Ends up, the "bully" was enduring watching his mom get beat at home regularly by his father; when the judge and jury reviewed the facts around the father's violence, the then-older-teen was pronounced not guilty and did not go to jail.

It also came out, later, that he was being sexually abused (sodomized, to be clear here, not just "fondled") by the librarian at the school, to whom he was assigned to do chores for because of his bad behavior on the playground.

Funny what labels do, (and not do, like find solutions) isn't it?

#29

I ran into my tormentor at my 40th high school reunion.

We approached each other civilly, although cautiously.

We soon found out that we had endured similar things.

Both of us served in the military. Both of us had toxic exes. Both of us had children we loved dearly.

We both admitted that we had been incompatible as friends back then. He admitted that he was a firebrand and a bully. I admitted I should have been fiercer and beat his a**. We both laughed and shook hands.

I guess both of us realized that time changes folks. It taught him that bullies get put in their place. It taught me to not be a wallflower anymore.

Two old warhorses that lived and learned.

We’re great friends now.

Image credits: Dennis Manning

#30

Well, one guy I considered a bully died from a gun shot while he attempted to rob his father’s business. I would not have wished this on him, and others I've asked about him felt that deep down he was a good guy who lost his way and was put in circumstances he had no idea how to cope with. I believe this.

I also believe that almost all bullies get what's coming to them. They will eventually either reform and atone for their ways or they will have a comeuppance. The comeuppance will either be in the form of rough justice from the abused or a string of divorces, lost jobs, and lost opportunities.

I myself have never been a bully. But I have participated in the sort of crowd cruelty that kids are very good at. In one case where I have had the opportunity, I apologized for this. If I were able to, I would apologize to each and every person I showed cruelty to, however petty. This includes failing to properly defend others who were abused.

Image credits: Jeff Mackey

#31

I actually have 3 school bullies and since we all still live in the same town, I've had the pleasure of watching them grow up.

Bully number 1:

Let's call this bully Quan. Quan was a boy that was in my class in 1st grade. He use to taunt me and say extremely mean things to me. I don't remember exactly what, but I do remember being very upset by them to the point I would cry myself to sleep some nights. As the year was almost over, I finally broke down and told my mom who in turn told my teacher. After a conference with his mom (I have no idea what was said), Quan came up to me the next day and said “I didn't realize what I was saying hurt your feelings so bad, I'm very very sorry. Can we be friends?” I said yes and the rest was history. He never picked on me again through out the rest of our school days. He went off to college, played for his college football team and is doing great now. I wish nothing but the best for him as he turned out to be a really great guy.

Bully number 2:

Let's call this bully Rhett. Rhett bullied me from 3rd grade until I was in 7th grade. It was the usual things like shoving, calling me a fata**, making up really horrible rumors about me and my family. I never told anyone about him but karma does work in mysterious ways. In 7th grade I started dating a guy much too old for me (that's a totally different story). One night he asked me if I knew this kid named Rhett that was in my grade. I told him yes and mentioned the fact that that was my bully. He reply by telling me that was also his nephew (he was about 11 years younger then the boys mom who had him as a teen) and we dropped it. Once again I don't know what effect it had, BUT Rhett never bullied me again. We were never friends and I didn't want to be, but at least he never bullied me again. Rhett's life actually turned out pretty sad. In high school his parents divorced and his mom started dating a known meth dealer and thief. During that time he never knew what or who he would find when he got home from school. Once he arrived to his front door kicked in and police officers searching everything with his mom and her boyfriend in hand cuffs. Last I heard, he was working (washing dishes) at a place owned by his father as he never amounted to much.

Bully number 3:

Let's call this bully Veronica. Veronica was a lot like Rhett, but she was worse. Anyway she could hurt me she did for YEARS. It only stopped when she got pregnant in high school and I was one of the only people not bullying her. Veronica’s life actually ended up pretty sad. She got pregnant multiple times in school and ended up with 5 children before she turned 22. To her credit, they were all by the same dad and they had a great life for a while. However, the dad cheated on her multiple times and ended up marrying one of the girls while she was pregnant with baby #5. She couldn't pay their bills alone so she lost her house and car, and last I heard she is raising her kids while living with her parents and working a minimum wage job. I harbor no resentment towards her and I really hope things end up getting better for her.

Image credits: Jenny Marie

#32

He saved his sister’s life.

I had more than one bully, but Matt was the worst. I don’t know exactly why he singled me out, but I suspect he saw me as an easy target, a short kid who posed no threat & could serve as a quick path to popularity. Boys think like that in middle school.

Even by those standards, Matt was an a*shole. It was his reputation before, during, & after the day he beat the sh*t out of me: a spoiled rich kid whose daddy handed him everything he wanted.

The fight stemmed from a lame joke I’d told on the school bus a few weeks earlier. He’d laughed along at the time, but on this particular day he decided it would be fun to turn it around on me & humiliate me in front of the closest thing I had to friends.

He got in my face during the first few minutes of homeroom, while our teacher was still sucking down his morning coffee in the faculty lounge. Matt taunted me, called me a pussy, begged me to throw a punch. We both knew what would happen if I did.

But we were surrounded by a classroom full of pubescent sharks who smelled blood. Their money was obviously on him, but I knew they’d never let me live it down if I walked away. By the rules of junior high, I had no choice.

So I punched him in the stomach. It didn’t land. He pinned me to the floor in less than 10 seconds & pummeled me with a smile on his face. It was a look that haunted me for years afterward: the vacant stare of a young sociopath.

A decade later, a close friend confirmed exactly what I thought I’d seen that day. Matt, he said, had “dead eyes” when he laid me out in front of two dozen classmates. There was something missing in him, some part of a soul that clearly wasn’t there.

I made it through the rest of the day without crying, a nightmare scenario that would’ve done even more damage than a one-sided beating. But I also considered s*icide for the first time (not the last).

A few weeks later, Matt cornered me in the hallway & quietly reminded me he could kick my ass again anytime he felt like it. He had the same empty look in his eyes, & I knew I was in the presence of evil.

Or so I told myself.

It’s hard to forget the names of our childhood tormentors, & it’s downright impossible not to Google them. When I finally worked up the nerve to plug his name into my laptop a few years ago, the very first hit was an article from a small-town newspaper. It knocked the wind out of me.

Matt, my bully, the monster who had forever deflated my self-esteem & wrecked my sense of self-worth, had just donated a kidney to his younger sister. She would’ve died without it.

I’ve known more than my share of narcissists, sociopaths, & soulless cretins, but I have yet to meet one who would willingly surrender a vital organ to another human being — stranger, friend, or family. Matt did just that. And he told the newspaper it was the happiest day of his life.

So you never can tell.

Image credits: Carter Nelsen

#33

He became paralyzed.

George was a typical school bully. He pushed the other students around in the hallways, got into fights in the locker room and insulted others right to their face.

He was very dominant in the school, and aside from the more athletic guys in my class, he was not very popular due to him bullying others.

I really didn’t like him because of this, and we became enemies.

School let out in June, 2014 just like any other year. However, rumors spread around that George was moving to Edmonton, Canada. This made me smile, finally we would not have to deal with this bully any longer!

I regret those thoughts today.

Mid-July, something on Facebook caught my eye. There was a picture of George, bloodied, half-dead and with stitches on his body laying on a hospital bed. Suddenly, all my resent for him vanished and I felt very bad for him. He may have acted mean during class, but he certainly didn’t deserve this. Nobody deserved this.

Apparently, he had been riding his bike down a steep hill in Edmonton, when a car blocked his way. He has dodged the car, only to slam into the curve and fly out of his bicycle. He cracked his spine into the pavement and became permanently paralyzed from the waist down.

He was only 13 years old at the time.

This shook our class, and everyone was talking about it over the summer break and into the next school year. He was no longer a bully, confined to a hospital bed for six months. He came to visit our class during that winter, and he had changed drastically. He was actually quite optimistic about life, despite his disability, and was no longer the bully we had known before.

He still posts to Facebook, and appears to be making the best of his condition. The same year as the accident, he made national news when his favourite hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks, came to visit him at the hospital.

Three years have passed since the accident, and I do not remember him as a bully, but as a brave, inspiring person. Although we may wish misfortune on bullies, nobody deserves this, especially at the age of 13.

Image credits: Akira D

#34

When I was in college, I came back to my home town. I went out for a walk one night, and I heard, “Hey, Zimmerle!” And there he was, the guy who had terrorized me throughout grade school, middle school, and high school. And he was nice! He asked what I was doing these days. I said I was in college, studying computer science, and he replied with “so you turned out okay, that’s great!” He seemed genuinely relieved that he hadn’t scarred me for life.

I looked him up on the internet, many years later. He went into HVAC repair. He’s retired now, living a few towns over.

Rick, if by some chance you read this, my life turned out okay. I hope yours did too.

#35

His name was John. Same as mine. He bullied me from 5th grade to 9th grade when I changed schools. He had failed a year and was tall for his age. Total mismatch. Among the highlights were pouring a bowl of fish down my shirt outside in the winter and ( with another kid) dragging me in the shower after PE when I was already dressed in school clothes. He was a chief reason that I began working out: So I could get big, strong, and beat his a*s.

Fast forward 3 years. I was a muscular 17 year old who was 5′10″ and 193 pounds(below) and I had wrestled for three straight years.

He stayed at 5′11″ and weighed 155. Total mismatch. I was at a party with my girlfriend. He showed up with his. I decided that nothing would be better than to hurt him in front of his girlfriend. He looked a little more gaunt than I was used to seeing him. I began pounding the beer and glaring at him on the other side of the bonfire. He kept looking away and would not make eye contact. I was sufficiently drunk and got more obvious in my attempts to initiate a fight. This would be infinitely more satisfying if I got him to throw the first punch. I had the fight planned in my head: Single leg takedown and slam him across the log he was sitting on. Get on top and pound his face. My girlfriend and her friend became aware of what was going on. She said “ If you start a fight with him, plan on going home alone”. Then her friend added” Yeah, you asshole he just has his appendix removed”. So that ended it. A few months later I found out that he was going in the Marines as well. He was a brother.

Fast forward 40 years. We connected on FB and he apologized with tears in his eyes. I found out that we were both serious bicyclists, health nuts, and we both hated Donald Trump. I call my bully my friend.

#36

I kinda have one story only. Back in high school I was a hard hardcore yugioh player, this was Xyz era and one of the few times I was comfortable showing my nerdy side publicly. Fast forward a month and I ended up being asked (read ordered) to help the football team learn how to play 21 for a bet against the Senior math teacher. During this time I also had a lot of run ins with this random student playing a deck using Utopias and Zexal weapons who was an all around d**k to everyone.

One day I got tired of him and just dueled him only for him to add his 5 lackeys. Knowing full well I had a shot at winning better that way and he was just a blow hard with an uncle who set him up with good cards I fully went in not caring. After losing to a time out because his lackeys stalled for everything, I was forced to ante a card that he was trying to get for days. My lucky draw worth around 5$ was torn from my hands and I left not caring,

Fast forward 2 days, I'm with the football team and teaching them only for hotshot to run up with his lackeys. I'm thinking about decking him at that point until he takes out my card and slowly lowers the back of his pants. Sitting there and stopping the lesson while our entire little alcove went silent was enough to jack up my anxiety knowing full well this little bustard is wiping himself with my card.

He throws it on the table where the deck is and smiles. The captain of the team, the guy who asked me for help with the bet, asks me if I wanted payback for that. I just shook and nodded as I got into my only fight in high school where I threw a punch. The entire team had my back and the school security pulled up at a window just as I done letting my rage out.

Fast forward one week, I'm not scared of the consequences, but I'm terrified the moment I'm called to the principal out of nowhere. I'm expecting ISS, I know I'm screwed, and I sit there as a nerdy, scared, and one hundred percent guilty bony 17 year old. Then walks in the VP. She orders me back to class and tells me that I saved myself by doing the janitors a public service. I'm on shock, but I book I out after hearing the words “this is the kid who caused 1900 dollars worth of damage flushing cards” being screamed by the VP.

I get to the class, sit down, shut up, and get told by the teacher to take some assignments to ISS for a student there. I walk there, see the little bastard laughing with three big dudes who I know from middle school and set the assignments down while all three look at me and him wondering “wtf?”. He wad supposedly making it look like he got away with everything and I was going there with him because the principal was a family friend.

According to later news, this bully was expelled, banned from all school functions, and forced to pay back everything he caused in damages after a month of ISS to review his actions for punishment. Last I saw him, his girlfriend broke up with him for losing their shot at prok together and being stuck at McDonald's working.

Image credits: Gilbert Enriquez

#37

So, my school bully’s name was Garth. He tormented me from first grade all the way through ninth grade, until I finally moved. Garth was a couple of years older, and he was bigger, taller, and stronger than everyone else.

I remember him having this moped that he’d use to chase me around the neighborhood. Sometimes, I’d start running before I even heard that thing come around the corner because if Garth saw me, it was a guarantee he was going to run me down. There was no way I could outpower him—he was like a grown man compared to the rest of us.

Years later, when I was well into my 30s, I ran into Garth again. By then, I was 6 feet tall, 240 pounds, and looked like I should be a linebacker for the New York Giants. I had also earned a blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, so I knew how to handle myself. When I saw Garth, I barely recognized him. He looked so small and weak—like life had really taken a toll on him.

We were in a movie theater, and as I looked at him, a part of me wanted to confront him. I knew I could easily take him down, outbox him, get him on the floor, and choke him out until he pissed and sh*t himself in front of everyone, including his kids. But then I thought about everything I’d learned through martial arts, and all the lessons that came from being bullied by him. I just felt sorry for the guy.

So, I didn’t say anything. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even know I was there. But it felt great to know that after all those years, I was in a position where I could kick his a*s if I wanted to—but I’d also learned the restraint not to. It gave me a nice sense of peace.

#38

It was many kids and I don’t know.

I left them and the town behind and haven’t been back for a long time. My parents retired to the west coast, so I have no reason to visit.

Grade 7 and 8 were horrific for me. I was fat, spectacled, nerdy, deeply intelligent, weird and dressed badly. I was central casting bullied kid. And so the kids do what kids do, which is unite together in making someone else’s life miserable.

I think it culminated in running a gauntlet of kids pummeling me as I tried to enter the school. It might have peaked with the gang that used to stalk me on the way to and from school, and beat me up at least once requiring a passing adult to intervene. There was the time they turned the one guy who I thought was my friend against me with lies. There was the constant insults, spitballs and minor stabs, jabs and pokes with pens, fists and books. There was having the books spilled out of my hands in the hallways. It extended to my home neighborhood as well, where a gang of vicious girls took to bullying me too. Fun times.

In my first year of university, when I was studying sciences locally in the small town university I could afford to attend before I realized I wasn’t interested in the careers a science degree opened up for me, I ran into one of them in the common room of the school. I forget what he was doing, but we chatted for a few minutes. I was 6′1″, had infantry training and was lean and muscled now. Not quite the same kid. He was terrified. He was sweating heavily and trying to pretend to nonchalance and failing miserably. He left quickly. No idea what he turned into, if anything.

Sometime in my mid-20s I returned to see my folks and a couple of friends I was still in touch with. Another of the gang of bullies was at the bar. I was instantly in full fight or flight mode, but now I was big and buff. I was employed at a major accounting firm, putting my first wife through med school and living in Toronto. Yeah, bit of a change from my bullied days.

He was guilt-ridden, ashamed and full of self-hatred. He apologized deeply and sincerely for being such an a*shole to me and making my life a living hell for a couple of years. He was working as a security guard at a bus station. I was deeply frustrated because I really wanted to punish him, rub his nose metaphorically and possibly literally in how superior to him I was at the time, but obviously him being an incredibly contrite and sincere person took the wind out of my sails. That encounter left me shaking. No idea if he ever got past security guard jobs, but I assume so.

I don’t remember their names. I vaguely remember what they look like. I’ve lived and continue to live a rich, rewarding, globally connected life. I’ve lived, vacationed and played all over the world, with senior consulting and leadership roles in North America, Asia and Latin America. I talk regularly to global climate and technology leaders. Yesterday I spoke for a couple of hours via Zoom to a Columbia University seminar on sustainable finance as part of their series on the subject. I have PhD and chemical engineer fans for my work, which is deeply nerdy and I love it. I post nerdgasms about particularly cool interactions I have with deeptech people on LinkedIn and Facebook. I’ve keynoted a global ebike conference this year as well. I live in downtown Vancouver with my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful spouse, and we live a rich and rewarding life together, filled with good food and love.

As George Herbert wrote in 1640, living well is the best revenge. It’s still true.

#39

My school nemesis was a girl. For two years, we shared a desk. She never hit me. But no matter what I did, she would always react in some demeaning or insulting way. I hated Polina with all my heart. But I could not get away from her because our class superior decided we should share a desk. It was her policy to get children who hated each other paired so they would not speak during the lesson.

Twenty years later I looked for my classmates on a Russian social network. And suddenly I saw Polina. I began to tremble - just remembering all my humiliations was horrible. And then she wrote me. “Hello”, she said. “I am happy I see you here. I am sorry for everything. I reckon I was not the best deskmate. Forgive me.”

Since then, I have no other feeling for her but gratitude. I think it was really nice of her to apologize after twenty years. She is now a nurse, living in Canada.

#40

I am going to relate a story that happened to my brother.

He was a very good football player in high school. He was big, but still fast, so he played wide receiver. One evening he was attacked from behind. My brother had grown up in a rough neighborhood, and knew how to handle himself in a fight, but he had no chance. He woke up in the hospital.

The attacker was from a rival school, and was also a football player. The attack was so egregious, the schools did not play football again for forty years. Just a few years ago they resumed playing.

My brother knew this guy, and of course, after that, hated him. He told me that for years he had fantasies of running into this person and beating the H E dbl L out of him. Then one day he opened up the paper, and there, on page three, was a story about his attacker. The guy had just been sentenced to life in prison for a murder he committed. My brother said that he did not need to fantasize about beating him up after that.

#41

When I was in Jr. High there were these two young men who made my life miserable. One went out of his way every day to comment on how ugly he thought I was. He told me that even if I wore makeup, it still wouldn’t help my looks. My friends stuck up for me, but he seemed to think I was the ugliest person he had ever seen. So, this went on for quite a long time, and I was at my lowest. I let his words affect me, and it’s not easy hearing how ugly someone thinks you are. I had buck teeth at the time, and desperately needed braces. My parents couldn’t afford things like that, so I had to endure that bullying for over a year. My family moved, and I never had to hear that kind of bullying again, but I’ve thought about him or should I say both of them. Well, I looked him up on Facebook the other day. I found out he lost custody of his daughter, he was on drugs for several years, and only recently cleaned up his life. The other guy who bullied me has only daughters, and I have to wonder if he steps in when they’re being bullied the way he bullied me.

#42

My school bully?

You mean that guy who, in physics lab, pulled my stool out from under me while I was hunched over the counter deep in the assigned experiment, causing me to land hard on my tailbone?

Who, when he found out I was crushing on this one girl in a lower form, made it a point to push my skinny frame around when she was nearby (to assert his superior masculinity)?

And once asked me during a free period to draw a girl in the nude, which I did, because I was gratified he wasn’t making life miserable for me, only to grab the finished sketch and bolt to the teacher’s desk and tell her I was drawing pornography (which backfired badly for him because I drew Botticelli’s Venus de Milo and my English teacher had a classical education)?

And then developed the odious habit of finishing every pop quiz ridiculously early (because he didn’t know the answers and knew he didn’t know them) and then get appointed test monitor by the teacher, and when the bell rang, would rush to grab my paper first, purposely crumpling it on impact?

And bought a motorcycle when he was still 15, two months away from our boards, then drove it without a license, underage, and took his friends for rides in the general school area, making it a point to splash me by driving through puddles while I was walking to after-school tuition, sneering at me all the while for having to walk to tuition (of course I’d walk, stupid, tuition is just one kilometer away) while he rode home?

And made fun of me for getting made the school’s Library Secretary and spending most lunch break cataloging the history section while he played cricket?

Who made fun of me on the way to our pre-final exams because I actually read the entire textbook (dweeb that I am) instead of ‘strategizing’ like him and only reading his friend’s notes on the topics they thought were most likely to be tested?

And then walked around with his chest puffed out after the boards, proud that he was going to pass, while I agonized over whether I’d make the honors lists or not?

That guy?

Hold on. I never thought of him until now. Let me look him up.

Yup. He lays slightly expensive flooring for a living.

#43

There were two, let's say, "major" bullies at my school. One of them was aggressive, strong and stupid to the core. He was the one to be really afraid of because he had that something in his eyes. Something terrible. To make a long story short, he ended up in jail for murder.

The other one was quite smart and used his gang to do the dirty job as he was physically weak. Back to school days, I listened to heavy metal and had a long hair (Actually, I still have the similar haircut like on my profile picture). The length of my hair was the reason to call me names and so on. To be honest, he never intended to harm me physically because we lived nearby and we were like...neighbors. Anyway, once I got tired of it and confronted him while he was alone and bit him up. Not too bad, no broken bones or something, because I wasn't a kind of a fighter guy, but he was on the floor. That fight taught him a lesson and, surprisingly, he never tried to have his revenge. And, to be true again, I was always frightened he would.

Eventually, he's been imprisoned for stealing. He spent two years in jail. Some years ago, I visited my parent's house and accidentally met him in the street. We recognized each other straight away. We had a small talk and he said that he still lives with his parents in the same house and works as an auto mechanic. We didn't talk about his term in jail nor our fight, we just exchanged some standard phrases, then shook hands and walked away.

I thought to myself: “What a chance meeting! After all these years, wow!”

I can't prove it, but I think he's a regular citizen right now. Because, again, he had that something in his eyes, that something of a man who has learned from his mistakes. At least, I hope he has.

Image credits: Dmitri Koteshov

#44

We had this girl in class who treated everything at school like it was a popularity contest. She was not your typical crude bully. She was a very “refined” bully. She had very subtle ways of making people feel really bad. She had a group of 10–12 minions who followed her everywhere like puppy dogs. She thought she was extremely pretty (although I personally thought she resembled what one might see if you bred a goat with a camel).

As she grew older, she constantly needed male attention. Anyone who didn't give her that was bullied, called stupid, lame or any other thing. She particularly went around bullying kids who weren't from very rich families. She considered them easy targets and had this “rich kid” “poor kid” distinction in her mind right from childhood.

When we were kids, I remember we once had this spelling test in class. I got full points while she got one point less. This made her angry. She snatched my graded answer sheet from me during lunch break, erased a letter from one of my correct spellings, went to the teacher and told her innocently that the teacher had inaccurately given me points for a “wrong spelling”. The teacher believed her and cut 1 point on my test. This gave her a sense of supreme satisfaction. I didn't really care about a few points here or there. So I didn't really try to prove my point to the teacher. But I did realize that this girl is particularly vile. She never managed to bully me but she did try some of these cheap tricks to get better grades. I remember she tried to copy answers from my sheet during a particularly important exam, where she was sitting right behind me.

Fast forward a few decades. Now I do remember that she was a reasonably bright student at school (but not exceptional), to be honest. But her grades started falling drastically once we were in high school. After we were done with school, she did badly on her entrance exams and joined a mediocre college. She had had a steady boyfriend in school but he eventually went abroad to study and they broke up. She changed many boyfriends during college but none of them stuck around for too long. Most people just branded her as “easy”. We did run into each other quite a few times at parties of common friends - where I heard all kinds of strange gossip doing the rounds mostly involving her and other guys at her college. She tried to “trap” one of my really nice male friends after hearing that he’d received a major pay raise and was now a senior executive at a large multinational. Fortunately, after speaking with her a few times, the guy saw through her and backed out.

She soon got bored of guys and tried her luck with a girl. Word got around real fast because this other girl went around telling everyone.

Eventually her old high-school flame came back after finishing college abroad. In a drunken fit at some party, he bragged about how he'd had several girlfriends from exotic countries while he was abroad.

A few months later, this bully and her exotic-girlfriendloving ex announced that they were getting engaged - much to everyone's amusement.

Now they're married. She never could find any employment anywhere so she's a stay-at-home wife. Her husband tried finding jobs but got nothing and so he joined the “family business” - although his close friends from school maintain that his family does not have a “family business” and it's all just eyewash. Her boyfriend (now husband) had this peculiar way of talking….he’d be sending out more spit than words when he spoke. So I'm sure they're having a great time and the lack of rainfall in my country doesn't affect their household at all.

Don't bully. Be jolly.

#45

She’s a successful professional now. I looked her up once, out of curiosity. She has a nice website with a big professional portrait and a fluffy blurb about all the lovely stuff she likes to do with her family at the weekend. But even if she’s a bit more jowly and has grown her eighties preppy bob out a bit, her cold eyes remain the same. I feel for her coworkers.

#46

Unlike a huge part of the answers here, my bully is doing ok. Not as spectacular as she likes to paint, but the plain, average ok. Which for her is punishment enough, as she loved the spotlight. Let me give you a bit more of a insight.

This all happened when I started anew in my High School. As a quiet, introspect, and very very sarcastic person, there was only a few kids that could accept my humor and moods, and a scarce amount that could tolerate it. Teachers and students alike all expected me to have low grades because my dark moods and sarcasm apparently indicated that I could not achieve academic success. Oh well, I was really really sorry to disappoint them all.

My bully was by no means a stupid, all brawl no brains kind. She was very smart, smart enough that she was top of the class every single year, until I arrived. I suppose intelligence and envy are a very dangerous mix because she was outright cruel. She was popular, smart and good at sports. She had it all and I had ruined it all. Oh damn!

Because I could not hold my sarcasm in, I suffered a lot more. She would be very abusive, trying to sabotage me (oh, please! try harder, dear!), making friends with my friends and trying to put them against me, and being really annoying on social media.

It was kinda hellish, but I survived and battled my way through it and I was the top of my whole year, when I graduated (take that, biatch!).

We both moved to college. I’m on my way to my PhD and she is stuck in a terrible college finishing her Bachelor’s Degree in something she does not like because she failed the access to Medical School. I have a boyfriend, so does she. I have a loving family and the respect of my home peers, while her family is involved in some scandal with her aunt whoring around and her father betraying her mother, and I think she cut ties with that part of the family. Looking at Facebook photos, she still has her charm but she seems a lot more faded than the remaining bunch of our year.

She is a plain Jane now, and so am I. The big difference is that I bask in the absence of attention and I don’t think she can deal with it.

#47

She met me later in life when I was in my air stewardess uniform. She was shocked. We got on fine because I went out of my way to be kind to her and forget the past. I heard that in adult life she was very sad, became an alcoholic and got divorced.

#48

THE TRAUMA IS STILL REAL.

Jaaved* was a Hindi teacher at my school. He started when I was in high school. He was different. He was all the things our school had taught us not to become. He swore openly in class, objectified the girls from the neighboring school and didn't even spare some of the female teachers. He was repulsive. He had his fan club who loved him because he let them freely cheat on tests and exams and laughed and joked with them about things teenage boys usually laugh and joke about. He would snatch away the answer papers from some of us before we finished and hand it to those kids to copy. The day he did this to me, I decided to stand up to him and said enough is enough. I complained to the principal who came and asked the class about what happened. 16 students stood and corroborated my story. Later that day, he came in and threatened them to a point where each of them sat down and withdrew their complaint.

I was left standing alone, a 9th grade kid wanting to fight the system; wanting to stand up for what I believed in. He came back into class and in front of a room full of students he threatened to hang me with his goats at his mutton shop and skin me alive; just imagine saying that to a teenager. I did not budge. After that day, he beat me every single day; he made me kneel down outside in the hot sun on a tar road every single day; he made me write down chapters from the text book as a punishment every single day. I did it all but I refused to bend. Finally, one day, my dad snapped. He couldn’t watch his son get abused any more. He came to school, gave a written complaint to the principal and then in front of the entire school grabbed this teacher by his collar and told him that if he ever lay a finger on me again, he will have to answer to the cops.

It has been over 15 years since this happened but THE TRAUMA IS STILL REAL. I've moved on in life and everything is going well but THE TRAUMA IS STILL REAL. Some wounds do not heal, some scars are forever. He was my Dolores Jane Umbridge, and, on that day I decided I must not tell lies.

What happened to your school bully?

Not a damn thing. He's still a teacher at that school; he's still the worthless scumbag that he always was and to this day he still uses my example of what a student should not be like. He still struts around the school throwing around his signature catchphrase “I’m Very Danger”.

I sometimes wonder, had something similar happened at any school in any other "developed" country, how many years would he have spent behind bars? At my school, back then, all he got was a warning. I hope that he reads this and realizes that what he thought was "cool" back then has had longer term consequences on some people's lives. I hope he shows some form of remorse and mends his ways and hopefully none of the students at my alma mater will need to go through something like this again.

#49

One of my school bullies punched me in the back of the neck. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in 2022 I filed for worker’s comp because my neck started really hurting me. Turns out I have:

stenosis
arthritis
a partially-healed fractured disc
Since all of this was clearly old injuries and degenerative, I lost my worker’s comp claim. Over the years, in hindsight, I should have known something was wrong.

It was 2006 when I was punched, and I moved to Australia in 2016.

In 2010 and 2011, when I was in college, I was an Army ROTC cadet for two years before I got discharged for unrelated medical issues. I did notice that the back of my neck often hurt a lot when I wore a helmet…

Thanks to new regulations, cars started getting pokier head rests that either pushed your head forward, or forced you to set the seat back. New head rests always hurt my neck.

It wasn’t until I got a job at a warehouse though, as an order selector, moving thousands of pounds of alcohol a day that my neck really started playing up. I suddenly found I couldn’t turn my head. Even driving was very dangerous. I am now on painkillers so strong that every 6 months or so they test my kidneys to make sure I’m not getting killed by them. They’re non-opioid painkillers. Basically Celebrex and a super strong version of Tylenol, both for extremely old people.

Back to my bully… I started thinking about it, and I realised there was a greater than 0% chance this guy, back in the USA, was a millionaire wangster rap star. Maybe I could sue him?

I looked him up, and was startled, though not surprised, to see an adult version of his face, in a news article, wearing a prison jumpsuit.

#50

As I changed schools often, I encountered many bullies. I don't know what happened to all of them. But the funny thing is, that almost all of the ones I could find out, became bus drivers. One became a coast guard.

#51

One of them is dead, another has 5 different baby mommas, and I don’t know about the last one.

The dead one died in a car accident only a year after high school ended. I got a phone call from a mutual friend (although I should not have really called him a friend because he was quite complicit in the bullying, and a true friend would’ve done something) asking me if I had heard about her. The conversation went like this:

Mutual friend: “Hey have you heard about Candace? “

Me: “Which Candace? The black one who was a horrible little ghetto jerk, who always bleached her hair that ridiculous platinum blond color? Yea, what about her?”

Mutual F: “ Well… Just to let you know… She Died!!!”

Me: “Too bad…”

That mutual never spoke to me again after that, but there was no love lost, and I didn’t care. I am a survivor of NPD abuse and I have no room in my heart to hold sympathy for my abusers, nor their pathetic enablers.

Image credits: Karry Antoinette

#52

He got Scholarship

I had a guy that used to bully me in 5 grade and used to irritate the hell out of everyone. Everyone stayed quite till 6 grade but after that we retaliated and went on to teach him a lesson.

We called all our parents and asked them to report him at once. The boy was also not very good at studies. Turns out he got suspended for 1 month and failed exams that year.

When he came back the next year to school again in 6th grade he was completely different.He studied his ass off and got all A for his boards in the 10th grade.

After that he went on to get a scholarship for his Grade 11 and 12.

#53

I’m going to keep this light and simple, though it is a bit…gruesome. This is what my advisement teacher told us for the bullying program we had at school.

There was this dude that was popular with everyone, usually the high status kids and the athletes. There was this kid who he bullied on a daily basis. He would do things like hold his fingers up to his wrist and run the across, saying “Slit Slit!”. To him, he was an easy target and he would pick on the kid mercilessly every single day, for no apperent reason. Well, one day he ticked that kid off, and the kid came back with a pair of scissors, and stabbed him in his windpipe. The bully died a few minutes from drowing on his own blood.

The “high status kids” and his family, and almost the whole town held a huge funeral for him, and the bullies kid went on with his life. He’s at the local hospital treating patients as we speak (and is doing a great job at it, by the way).

In my opinion…he got what he deserved.

So many people throughout the years we’ve been in school, would say “Treat others as how you would want to be treated.” He never even understood what that kid went through.

#54

I have a friend who’s on Facebook and she has sent me pictures of my school bully. She has been married for over 40 years. Her husband looks like an angel—really. He has such a kind, patient look about him. They have one son. They might be grandparents. She did make my life miserable in 8th grade and throughout high school and poisoned people’s minds. My only crime? I had a tremor. I’d get shaky in front of the class.

I wrote an essay once for a college course I was taking in my forties about being bullied in school and mentioned her as the chief instigator. I sent it to her with a short note. I said that perhaps our hormones did a number on all of us. I’d said in the essay that I’d forgiven her. She never responded.

I guess it seems amazing to me that such a mean girl was able to keep a man happy all these years. Who knows what her problems were. For all I know, her parents were abusive. We never know what goes on behind closed doors. Obviously, I don’t know the truth about her marriage, either. Her husband may be so sweet that he doesn’t have the heart to divorce her. Who knows!

#55

I got curious and Facebook stalked her to see if I could get a good answer.

Well, she's married, as her last name is different. No “public” pics of the spouse. She has a dog that looks really cute. Her profile pic was at the Grand canyon, and she looks pretty OK weight wise.

I mentioned weight specifically because she was a chubby elementary schooler, and felt as though mocking ME for being “fat” would … I dont know, validate her somehow? I was a stick at the time, and was more confused than anything else. I consider myself lucky as such things commonly do cause eating disorders in children. I wasn't the only one she gave hell about weight, either.

Other than that she has a college banner on one of her past PFPs, though I am not sure if she attended college there or is just a sports fan. She used to have her cr*ppy retail job listed publicly last time I looked ages ago but her job is no longer public.

Some of the photography on her page is actually quite good. Great color and a pretty nice eye for composition. Maybe we could have gotten along if she had talked to me about art rather than taking every opportunity to try and tear down my self esteem?

She's still living in our hometown. I probably wouldn't recognize her if I saw her during a visit though.

So, I think my elementary school bully is doing OK…

#56

When I was in 6th grade, I had this classmate whose father had mafia connections and he was built and looked like a super scary monster. The classmates generally avoided him and he had no idea that he scared them off. I guess he was lonely in a way. Being the class nerd, I was always approached for help with school work and this guy asked for my help too. I have always enjoyed teaching since I was a kid and I happily obliged. This mafia boy would happily come everyday, do his homework with me, tell me about his day and be a friend in general while the other kids around me kept quaking in fear.They still couldn’t see the gentle giant in him.

That was the day I realized sometimes people are so tied to their belief and rumors that they don’t let themselves give others a second chance.

Regarding the bully question, I have been lucky enough to know what every person around me needs help with so no one bullied me worrying that maybe I would not want to help them. I was always given the title of ‘super friendly and always helping’.

However, my brother was the classic bully magnet. Being super sensitive in general, he was always walking with a target on his back. I used to fight the bullies off for my brother, including my class bullies who harassed my brother. They would take away his lunch box from him when he came to have lunch with me, tease him when he cried, when ever he would talk to me in our mother tongue they would mimic him etc. It was not as scary as some stuff I read in the other comments here but still my brother was scared and upset at the thought of going to school.

I am still in touch with the bullies and they are not doing so well in life. They always joke with me saying I cursed them for harassing my brother.

#57

I had a high school bully who threatened to beat me, called me a nerd with racial slurs, he also gossiped about me in front of other girls. He told other girls that I have a small p*nis just because I’m Chinese, he actually slept with my high school crush during prom night.

We both went to the same university. I was planning to study engineering and I have no clue about what he was planning to study, he wanted to go for medicine but you need a bachelor degree prior to do that. I saw him quite often at the gym and I also started lifting weights too.

He dropped out after his first semester. I figured that out because my university has a website and a search bar, you can type the name of the person and it shows his university email and faculty. I saw that he still doesn’t have any faculty when I was in my third year which indicates that he dropped out.

One day, I decided to answer a question on Quora regarding self improvement. I basically wrote all my accomplishments, I won a scholarship, got a good internship, I travelled to other countries, I put my before and after picture because I got muscular from lifting weights, and many other things.

I decided to share my answer with him on facebook. He then blocked me from contacting him.

Last summer, I was playing basketball with some friends. I saw my high school bully again with his friend from high school. He got super fat, like really fat, at least 240 lbs, and he had a difficulty walking. He was just throwing a basketball and he noticed me. I was very surprised because he was a football player back in high school and also went to the gym when I was in first year.

I just tried to search him on facebook using my friend’s account and it seems like he deleted his account.

I know that he must be depressed now. He doesn’t have any credential/education and probably unemployed. Judging from his physical size, I assume that no girl wants to date him. I feel happy though, I have no remorse toward him.

#58

After high school, everybody heard he got into trouble with the law from stealing but his uncle bailed him out.

Then he moved out of the country to find something better to do with his life. To be honest, he did not really accomplish anything at that point in his life. Then there was a rumor that he died off somewhere because nobody heard about him.

Three to fours year later, he went back to his hometown to visit. Everybody was shocked at how much he had changed. He got mellow down a lot; and he seemed to have more money too. Everybody guessed he must had some sort of luck, or stealing something, or gambling, etc.

Fast forward few years, the last thing people hear about him is he is working at some kind of bank while doing some type of post grad degree. For me, the latest new I know is he got a cold this morning, but he still went to work because there would be a super important meeting tomorrow.

At this very moment, he is sitting at home with a runny nose, drinking hot apple cider with honey and cinnamon while typing this answer on Quora.

In case you wonder: that bully was me.

#59

I’ve had multiple people who bullied me in primary school, but since I haven’t seen most of them for years now, I’ll reflect on my only interaction with a guy who was among those who bullied me.

My school bully is doing just fine. It’s been almost 2 years since I saw him and actually talked to him, but it’s still stuck in my head. The first thing he did when he recognized me is to ask “Lara, is that really you?” and then proceeded to say “sorry” but before he could finish that I just said that he should keep that to himself because sorry doesn’t mean sh*t to me at this point.

He’s finishing high school as well this year, has been in a relationship with some girl for 4 straight years now and spends his time with his friends usually. I also know that his life has been quite good and that nothing dramatic happened. He changed a lot of course, but it seems that his poisonous personality has been well kept. We chatted for some time and then he left when his bus arrived.

My bully is doing fine - and I’m sure that others who were in that group are doing well. I’m glad that I didn’t see any of them for years now and that we have no contact. For all it’s worth, I hope they will live normal lives as they did until now. I just hope that I won’t see them again because I doubt that I would be nice as I was with him.