According to research by Dr. Michael Slepian, who is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University, the average person keeps around 13 secrets at any given time.
However, that can be harmful in the long run, both physically and psychologically.
So when one Reddit user asked others to anonymously share that one thing they can't tell anyone in real life, many revealed their heaviest burdens.
#1
I used to work in a shopping centre. One time as I was walking in to the building I sneezed and totally s**t myself, I was about 10 steps away from the shop so I had to think fast. I took a hard left turn and walked direct in to a department store. I only had $5 on me so I beelined for the underpants section and got the cheapest pair I could find. I then had to go to the centre toilets and sort everything out, it was a real mess. I text my boss and told them I was stuck in traffic but in reality I was 100 metres away trying to salvage any shred of dignity I could for the next 20 minutes. I'm happy to say the mission was a success and that day is now the benchmark by which all other days are measured. Every day since has been infinitely better.
Image credits: Jlandyj
#2
Sometimes I just want to be alone. I don’t want a partner, I don’t want pets or a family. I just want to travel and live my life and wander. Work as I go and be free.
Edit: thank you for the awards you guys:) Wish I COULD have some extra energy, that would be nice.
Image credits: lulububudu
#3
The real reason I was discharged from the army was because I was r*ped and wasn't able to tough it out. I always just tell my bros that I hurt my head or something.
Image credits: Throwaway910200287
#4
When I was in high school a friend confided in me that they had problems with cutting. Showed me recent marks. We had a long talk.
I went to the counselor of the school and told them a couple days later. I was a teen. I struggled with the choice, but ultimately the fear of losing my friend won.
Long story short, they ended up in a mental facility for a month and came back, absolutely baffled as to who ratted him out. Decided it was probably a different friend.
Well. I married him. He still doesn’t know.
Image credits: UnrestrainedTrash
#5
One Christmas I was 9 years old and knew that Santa wasn't real but for my 7 year old brother the fantasy was very much alive and good. We shared a room and my brother woke up on Christmas morning and looked confused that Santa had not eaten the Kit Kat that had been left out. He went quiet and I could see that he was working the facts through in his head, when he wasn't looking I ate the Kit Kat and showed him the wrapper and claimed he imagined seeing the wrapper unopened.
This was 26 years ago and I have not told him in case he works out Santa is not real.
Image credits: 10pencefredo
#6
Probably 15 years ago my sister had a gerbil and one day I decided to bring it out of her cage and surprise her in the living room with it. Somehow I slipped on carpet and the gerbil went flying headfirst into the wall, it basically sounded like a threw a golfball at the wall and the gerbil wasn't moving. Naturally I put it back in its cage and removed myself from the vicinity. To my amazement the damn thing was still alive and moving around a few minutes later and lived another 2 years without anyone ever knowing that I basically kobe'd it into the wall at full speed.
Image credits: Techn028
#7
About a week before I graduated highschool my family had a massive house fire. We lived out in the country, and no one was home so by the time anyone noticed it was on fire it was way too far gone. 30 ft flames above the roof. We lost everything, but had insurance and no one got hurt.
Anyways, I was in a chemistry class at the time that around 70% of the grade centered around a lab notebook that was graded all at once at the end of the semester. You would do labs every week, and then do lab write ups in the notebook. I had been slacking off and was way behind on the assignment and would have had to pull a few all nighters just to turn something in.
The day after the fire I went into class and told my teacher that the notebook had went up in the fire and that I had no idea how I would ever turn the assignment in. He was extremely nice about it, told me not to worry and gave me 100% on the whole assignment. Just said that I had bigger things to worry about and was about to graduate and that he hoped my family was doing ok.
…….well the notebook was in my car the whole time. Threw that b***h away and swore myself to secrecy.
#8
I really don’t like/care for anyone in my family.
Image credits: UnPlainJane23
#9
My mum doesn’t like that I’m on medication to control my anxiety. She claims that it’s bad for my health and that it will “cause more problems down the road”. Whenever she brings it up I just tell her that the doctor wanted me to take them, and that I didn’t just walk into the doctors and be like “I want to be on medication”.
While that is true, it’s not the whole truth. I have a history of suffering from panic attacks that lead to self harm and s****dal tendencies. The reason I’m on medication is to help control them and give me less incentive to hurt myself. She doesn’t know, and I have no plans on telling anyone in my family. This is a secret I will take to my grave.
For anyone who is worried: I’m okay, I have no plans on hurting myself, and I’m currently stable.
#10
My dad was single and a couple of my friends moms was always bringing us food. My dad would say they were just being nice cause he was a single guy raising 3 kids by himself. My aunt picked me up from school sick and we head home. She must have known what was up and had me wait in the car. Both of my friends moms came out half dressed and s**t with my aunt yelling at my dad. I never did tell out of fear. 1 mom was divorced but 1 wasn't and I was afraid of tearing their family apart. Will take it to my grave.
#11
When I was in elementary school, I once lost something so I asked to go to the lost and found. In the lost and found room, which was a big storage closet, they also stored the cokes for the pop machines. I took one. Then, probably 3-4 times a week, I’d “remember” I lost something else and go steal another coke. I don’t know how long I did this for, but I got a lot of free coke.
Image credits: anon
#12
I nearly committed perma de*th after I broke up with my ex, he truly made me believe that I would be worthless without him. Started packing up my flat to make things easier, then I met a silly robot programmer and life has been good since.
#13
When I was 4 years old I had hernia surgery.
I wasn’t supposed to go downstairs during recovery, but I snuck downstairs to find my toy toolbox and brought it upstairs to play in bed.
I have never told my parents.
Image credits: GuyWhoRedsDit
#14
Around 10 years ago, when I was a teenager, my dad (who worked in the video game industry back then) got a gaming laptop (worth around 3k that time) as a gift he didn’t have a real use for, so he gave it to me as I used to play WoW back then. He was very adamant about telling me to NOT put liquids (i. e. drinks etc) on my desk next to it as I’m very clumsy. So one night, I made myself a huge a*s bowl of cornflakes, and put the bowl next to the laptop because I forgot my spoon in the kitchen. I sometimes put a blanket over myself when I was gaming and when I got up from the chair that night, I somehow managed to flip the bowl over with my blanket and the milk FLOODED the open laptop. I got incredibly scared, turned the laptop off and cleaned it like my life depended on it and went to bed. I obviously broke the laptop as I didn’t get it to turn on anymore, but I was too scared to tell my dad what happened (especially since he repeatedly told me to be careful) and told him how I didn’t have any idea what happened and how it worked perfectly fine on the night before. I still feel incredibly bad about it
UPDATE - I told my dad. And although I can’t believe it, as so many of you said that he most likely knew - I got away with m*rder! He honestly didn’t know. He wasn’t angry at all, laughed it off and is really impressed with the amount of likes I got and how so many people are invested into this lmao! On a different note, I’m really happy I’ve told this story here as it ended up with me telling him and apologizing for my mistake. Feels really good!
#15
I used the other gender’s deodorant. I know it’s made for a woman, but it’s strong enough for a man!
#16
My mom left me to be homeless while still in high school to move out of state with an abusive (to me) new husband. When I finally got back in touch with them three years later, they gifted me one of his prized possessions, a car. It was kind of an olive branch? Problem was as a barely 20 year old with a minimum wage job living in DC, I couldn’t afford to plate it, inspect it, insurance gas or taxes on it- nothing. Still full of hatred for this man and therefore somewhat out of spite.. I sold it to a coworker friend whose big family desperately needed it for probably 10% of what it was worth. Told my step dad and mother that I got in an accident and it cost $400 to tow and my insurance only covered blah blah… it’s been 11 years.
#17
I reported a close family friend bye cps, he didn't take care of his daughters, had no idea what they were doing, where or with who they are. He only cares about himself, party's and drinking. So I reported him and know cps are involved.
#18
This is not that good, I spent most Saturdays with my grandma and we would watch the same vhs of moonstruck every week. I never told her how much I hated that movie(its a good movie but not when you're 8.). We would watch it and then after we would eat ice cream and put on SNL. Opera man era, I would give anything to watch moonstruck again with my grandma.
Edit: thank you for sharing all these great memories. Its hard to look back and really get a sense of what was lost that long ago and to know that we are all reeling in the years. Hopefully some of us can be our grandparents to a new generation. Although Cher will never act again. I loved my grandma so much and 15 years later I just wish I could see her again. That I wish she could be the GREAT grandma now and just hand me a tissue so my eyes weren't watering, she always had a tissue in her pocket or sleeve. Grandma baller move.
#19
I was on mushrooms, the *special kind,* when my mother k*lled herself. I spent the night surrounded by the police in the hospital and it has always really f****d me up. I thought about creating a throwaway to make this post but f**k it.
Image credits: avalanchefan95
#20
I dropped two burgers on the floor twice this past year and still ate them. Turns out, floor burgers are pretty good.
Image credits: anon
#21
I'm a gay man. While on the internet I met this older man and we clicked. Played games together, talked a lot, facetime, etc. I figured we were good friends until one day he mentioned the only reason he started talking to me was because I seemed gay. He was correct. So after a few dates, we ended up hooking up a few times. Then literally weeks later my parents invited me to an event to meet my distant family members, I didn't really want to go but my cousin convinced me it would be fun. I went there and knew practically no one, my grandfather has 11 sister and 2 brothers so there were many unfamiliar faces. Except for one. It was my internet friend. We pretended to be meeting for the first time. Obviously we kept quiet about it while trying to figure out how we were related. He's essentially my grandfathers, sisters, first son. Not only that but he's married with 3 kids. He told me he was single. After that awkward encounter we distanced ourselves from each other, although occasionally we do still play games together on steam. I had sex with my first cousin once removed, and a married man. It's my little secret, mainly because I doubt anyone wants to hear it.
#22
When I was about 7 years old my dad took me to blockbuster and I really had to pee. Blockbuster didn’t have a restroom so I peed in one of the aisles. I’m pretty sure the cameras saw me but thankfully there was no one near me.
Image credits: Opti-Free31
#23
I cant believe I'm going to spill this, especially on the internet because I'm more embarrassed about the stupidity of 13 year old me than anything.
When I was 13, a nefarious kid in the neighborhood was a shoplifter, and I had just started smoking. A new gas station just opened up, and back in the day (I'm showing my age here) they left cartons of cigarettes out in the open. Anyway, this kid would steal cartons. So I asked him to steal a carton for me. He said he would, but asked me what I would trade for it. He wanted my Gameboy, but I said I'd give him something better. One of my moms rings.
So in I go, to my moms room, open her jewelry box and bust out a single diamond ring and give it to this a*****e and he gives me a carton of cigs.
To this day, I keep telling myself it was costume jewelry to make myself feel better, but I honestly don't know.
I'm sorry mom.
Image credits: fluffytuff
#24
When I was in 6th grade our math teacher had a contest where teams of two could spend a week guessing how many jelly beans were in this large container and whatever team got the closest would win all the jelly beans. Kids would be up there trying to count individual jelly beans before class and walking around it all day sizing it up. Somehow the teacher let it slip that the amount was written on a piece of paper under the screw on lid of the container. So I concocted a plan, I told this kid Nate that I would split my share of jelly beans with him if he did the following: when we were walking down to lunch he had to tell the teacher he forgot his lunch box and run back to the classroom to get it, while he was there he would open the container and see what the number was, then he would fill out a form with me and my partners name on it, I told him it couldn’t be him because then the teacher would be suspicious of him being the one alone in the class room, I also told him not to put the exact number because thats fishy too it has to be off by just a few. Needless to say I won the jelly beans at the end of the week, when it came time to pay up with Nate I gave him one handful of jelly beans and that was it. He got really upset and said that wasn’t fair, I basically told him what are you going to do about it and ate 300 jelly beans over the course of the next 3 days. I promise I’m not as much of an a*****e as I sound like in 6th grade, just really like sugar. I’ve only ever told my wife this story and I feel like she doesn’t trust me anymore after hearing it.
#25
Sometimes I just want to walk away. I love my Boyfriend, my parents and my friends, but sometimes its just to much for me, and I thinking about to pack my things and just leave forever.
#26
Nice try, mom.
#27
I cant remember how old I was. It was dial-up internet era. Im now 29. But we received a phone call. Im not sure if i was home alone or why I answered it. But a man called and explained to me that my dad had affair with his wife. I hanged up and never told anyone except my therapist like a year ago. It has not bothered me much tbh, but it was sweird experience lol.
Image credits: Juof
#28
When i was in 4th grade , i put mustard in one of my friend's burger because he had told me that he hated mustard. turns out he was actually allergic. he didnt come to school or 3 days and i was scared that i k*lled him. to this date noone knows that i did it.
edit: wow so many upvotes that's cool. i would like to say that don't worry we r still on pretty good terms.
Image credits: Far_Tonyu
#29
Was walking my dog on a dirt road next my subdivision. This dirt road ran parallel to several backyards and had lots of trees on either side for concealment. For me it was an unofficial nature trail because it allowed me to get away from people.
One morning I spotted two of my neighbors, who were married to other people, making out and obviously about to do the deed.
Since they were so into each other they didn't hear me coming up till my dog started making noise. For several seconds we all looked at each other saying nothing until the couple took off running in the direction of their respective backyards.
We all knew each other but I wasn't friends with the two nor their spouses. Long story short, I kept my mouth shut about what I saw and neither of the lovebirds ever said anything to me.
Have no idea if this had been a one time thing or a long term affair.
#30
As a kid, I grew up in a small country community of 3,000 people. ... I had a crush on a girl who was two years older than me all the way through high school, and when I was 16, I found out she was my half-sister as my dad had cheated on my mum.
This only came out when she turned 18 and found out who her dad was, prior to that no one knew, and my dad and her mom had kept it a secret for 18 years. Completely f**ked with me for quite a while that I'd had a crush on my half sister for a number of years.
#31
When I was about 6 or 7 (honestly not sure) I was outside playing with my sister and family friends late at night in my Pa's country town. The parents were inside the fence and couldn't really see where we were, but there were a few of us together so guess it seemed safe enough.
Two men approached us from the local bar or whatever and picked me out. One asked if I knew what a BJ was. I didn't, I was very young and naive, so he asked if I wanted to come with them to find out and have some fun.
I honestly almost went with him because I was curious and it was just before my parents divorce so I suspect some sad things had been happening in my life. I don't recall much at all from my childhood at all but this night sticks out for some reason. Thank f**k I had some sense to tell them I wanted to ask my parents first, they lost their nerve after that and left.
That wasn't the last time something like that almost happened before I was the age of 9.
#32
My brother said something that made me mad when we were kids. I had my BB gun in hand so i shot him in the a*s. I blamed it on a wasp sting and my mom bought it.
Image credits: ratinthehat800
#33
I ended up telling this story to my mother 15 years later but it kind of counts. This happened when I was 6
When I was a little kid my paternal grandmother had two dogs: Tessa a little ditsy Maltese and Bindi a Rhodesian Ridgeback.
Tessa was too stupid to even realise being mean was an option so we always played with her when we visited my grandmother. But Bindi was always locked away in half of the house - when asked about her my mother would bristle and say "Bindi doesn't like kids" (my mother had her reasons to be very fearful of dogs like Bindi as she had to put down her first dogs when I was born because they were seriously aggressive towards me. Like launch themselves at the window if they saw me aggressive. The house operated under an airlock system for the first year and a half of my life - always two doors between me and the dogs).
After a while my grandmother moved into the house directly behind ours and we put a gate between our shared fence. Suddenly Bindi was accessible. We kept a respectful and fearful distance from her... For the most part.
One day I was in my garden playing with my very patient Labrador KD - we were playing circus. This dog was amazing. There wasn't a single thing you could do to him to make him mad (except be a horse. He hated horses). Bindi wandered into the yard and was watching us so in a burst of foolishness I ran towards her to try and involve her in the game. She panicked and bit me. Not hard. I didn't bleed or anything. I had some indents on my arm from her teeth and it did bruise a little but even now I'm always covered in bruises. I panicked and cried and sulked in my cubby house until I calmed down enough to go inside. I knew I couldn't tell my mother because I would get in so much trouble for playing with Bindi.
The next day I was in the garden with KD and Bindi was there also but I ignored her. I studiously ignored her for weeks. She'd come up and I'd walk away. Then some switch flicked. She was my adoring dog now. Everywhere I went she followed after me and doted after me. We'd curl up on the sofa together and I couldn't go a single step without her at my side. I think she must have felt so guilty about that bite. She was my sweet dog and we were best friends for four more years until she passed.
My parents always remarked on this miraculous change in attitude from Bindi. How an old ornery dog who hated everyone was suddenly an oversized lapdog. Even years after she passed they'd marvel about it. I didn't tell my mother until I was well into my twenties that the reason Bindi liked me was because she bit me.
#34
When I was 9, my dad and I were reading Reader's Digest and found a magazine subscription card for a free case of Depends adult diapers, so we wrote my uncle's name and address down and put it in the mailbox. He got it a couple weeks later and called everyone in the family to find out who it was. We knew my uncle was fuming, so we kept it to ourselves. To this day, everyone suspects that it was my other uncle.
#35
I didn't know my best friend's name for almost 10 years.
She goes by Katie almost exclusively and got it in my head early on that it was short for Katelyn...imagine my surprise when I heard her being referred to as 'Kathryn' at our convocation
No right way to bring that one up in a conversation.
Image credits: quetsche_coatl
#36
As a teen I stayed the night at my best friend's house and slept in their guest room. I was woken about 2am to the sound of her older brother arriving home intoxicated from a party. He saw me in the guest room and leaned against the doorway to say hi. He then stumbled down the hallway to his bedroom but never turned the hallway light off, and it made it difficult for me to get back to sleep.
So after about ten to fifteen minutes I got up and walked down the end of the hallway to the lightswitch. I turned it off, and started walking back to my room when I briefly glanced into his bedroom as I walked past. His door was wide open and he was sitting at his computer with his back facing me. He was naked from the waist down, m*******ting to what looked like transgender p**n (can't be certain, but it looked like someone in heavy make-up, long hair and with a p**is).
I must have made a noise because he swung around, saw me staring and said "oh s**t" then I immediately and swiftly returned to bed and lay in the dark not able to get the image out of my mind.
Five minutes later I heard him creeping down the hallway. I was like "oh God, here we go"...
He looked so sheepish and uncomfortable. He stood in the doorway and apologised for what I'd seen and begged me not to tell my friend, his little sister.
I swore I'd never tell them and told him it's fine and to go back to bed.
To this day they wonder why he hasn't got a girlfriend and they think perhaps he has a crush on me because he "acts weird" around me!
#37
I was standing talking to my wife who was in the shower and I was naked waiting to get in after her. I had the urge to fart which ended up being a shart all over the bathroom mat.
Luckily she never noticed and I made the excuse that I hated the feeling of the mat and I rushed it to the bin outside.
She looked absolutely bemused by the situation but it was better than the shame.
#38
About 20 years ago I worked for a big publisher. They were upgrading all their tech and just dumping it in a skip. I asked a security guy if I could take some stuff from the skip and he said to help myself as it was all going to get crushed anyway.
During a night shift I filled up my car with of beige G3/Quadra Apple Macs, keyboards, mice and some 19” Formac screens. Some of the macs had Quark Express and Photoshop on them.
I cleaned them up and sold the lot. I made enough to buy a G4 Quicksilver of my own which I still have today. I didn’t tell my co-workers, ex-wife, managers or anyone else.
#39
During my freshman year in high-school I was drinking a red Gatorade at lunch. This girl said that I was sitting in her seat. I hurried and swiped my drink to find another seat. I didnt realize my Gatorade lid wasn't tightened and the drink basically splashed all over her white pants. I scurried off pretending I basically just didn't f**k up this girls pants with RED GATORADE..
A few weeks later my friend invited me over to play some league at his house. His sister came home and I realized that was the girl I spilled my drink on. On God I was shtting my pants at that very moment. But luckily she seemed to have not remembered my face because she did not mention it. My friend and I still talk to this day (I've graduated high school 9 years ago) and I have never told this to him or his sister. I sometimes feel like she pretends to not remember and is actually plotting something all these years
--Edited typos that I could catch before work lol--.
#40
I put a knife down my throat and cut up to die. Almost did it . Was rushed to hospital and they told me I had an upper GI bleed possibly From a ulcer but didn't understand how it happened. I was in hospital for 5 days and I went along with what the doctors said. I never received any mental help and was discharged on my own. After a while I got better on my own but it was a rough ride.
Edit: I appreciate the support and awards! It was a crazy hard time in my life. I have a child and a good life now. S****de is hard I was one that never told anyone or reached out for help those are the hard ones to catch. If you ever seen people struggle in life please be kind you never know what they are going through.
#41
Bro in 3rd grade I thought it was cool as hell to wear glasses but I had near perfect vision, so I absolutely bombed an eye exam on purpose and now almost 20 years later I’m legally blind without glasses cause my eyes got so f****d. That’s my secret to take to the grave.
Image credits: vokevil
#42
I never told the full details of it because I’m honestly too messed up from what I witnessed(?) and the fact of the matter is that nothing I reveal would even change what happened.
I visited my mother’s hometown in Mexico during the summer with her and my younger sister. This was the week after the plane crash in Durango happened and we were heading there for a bit so I got super anxious and it kept me up a couple of days after we got there along with the time difference. We stayed at our great uncle’s house and I was sleeping on the futon on the ground while my sister and mom shared the bed.
My anxiety and difficulty adjusting to the time difference meant that I was up pretty late at night. I was just on my phone playing some mobile games when I heard a gunshot. I live in a dangerous neighborhood back home so I was used to hearing this kind of stuff. Then two more shots. This time it was more close. No one else woke up and I was just lying there thinking someone must be drunk (it was wedding season) and I should try to get some sleep because it could also be a hallucination.
The next morning, my mom asked me if I was up last night. I told her that I was then she asked if I heard anything. I let her know that I heard some gunshots but I didn’t think about it much. Her face went pale. Apparently the neighbor two houses down had m*rdered his wife the night I was up with a shotgun. It was a small town so everyone knew and he was quickly arrested. She had been shot at least twice.
I asked if anyone else was hurt last night but she told me that it was just the woman who was k*lled. The town was close to the city and they were strict about their gun control. So I should be happy that I know about what caused those two loud shots, right? Well, I think a lot about that first shot. The man only had a shotgun and he was the only one reported shooting that night. The first shot to my knowledge was more likely from an handgun. Who was that first person? Did the wife conceal her own gun and shot in self defense? Was it a drunk guy like I initially thought it was? Did someone else died that night but no one else knew about?
I think I was the only one who heard that first shot since everyone else only talk about those two loud ones. I tried asking to see if they heard anything else but they didn’t. Everyone knows each other like family in this town so surely they knew who did what. But even they didn’t know that the neighbor was capable of doing this. I’m not sure I want to know who fired that first shot.
#43
There was a guy in school who used to bully everyone.He was rich and hostel wardens were his b***h.
One day i was sick so i stayed in the hostel.
Went to his room and peed in his water bottle.
Threw the pee but didnt rinse the bottle and kept it in place.
Felt really good later watching him drink from it.
Image credits: Puzzleheaded-Plum427
#44
When I was 14 or 15, I would listen to music and just imagine I was a character in one of the shows I would watch, like teen Titans, totally spies or (god forgive me) Hamtaro.
The day I tried to listen to music and imagine like this stupid crossover between them and jump around my room, my brother had actually heard my jumping around from previous days and hid in my closet; he observed all the stupid s**t I did and mixture of shows combined because I would whisper quips from the characters.
Instantly reacted by trying to choke him as soon as he revealed himself but he just laughed his a*s off the entire time! Only he and I ever knew and I’ve been embarrassed by it ever since it happened. Developed paranoia of being watched, but I’m actually thankful for that now
I finally got that off my chest, whew!! It no longer has any power over me!!
Edit for spelling and I really wish this wasn’t my best rated comment but thanks for leaving such kind replies!
#45
Me and a friend was around 8-9 years old.
And for some reason we decided to build a base as we liked to pretend we were soldiers,
So we used to walk down to check out base every day and stand guard at different posts.
When we heard that the dad of some of the girls in our class had made a little cabin in the woods nearby for them to play at.
So we went over there and was awestruck how nice it was, with a real door with hinges kind of a fence and a window.
So we discussed it and perceived it as a threat to our territory grabbed hammers and a saw, and really went to work on destroying their cabin (club house).
Next day we saw several of the girls mourning their club house and the guilt we felt then. We were too afraid of telling anyone so we kept it a secret and was never caught.
#46
I lived with my aunt in 4th grade, she had a neighbor that lived downstairs so they had a shared backyard. Rule was always make sure the latch is closed on the gate so the dog doesn’t get out. I always made sure to lock it. One day I forgot. The dog got out (chihuahua) and was ate by a big neighbor dog. Blamed it on the neighbor. She cussed him out and would badmouth him any chance she could. I was too scared to tell her and she still doesn’t know :(.
Image credits: -beanhead
#47
We were cleaning up the cafeteria after lunch, and apparently my friend didn’t want to eat an apple, so he gave it to me. For some reason, I decided to yeet the apple at the trash that was pretty far away. I even said “YEET” when I yeeted it. Unfortunately for me, the trash can is at the wall, and I overthrew it and it hit the wall. Everyone looked at it, then stared at where it seemed to come from, which I got away from somehow after I yeeted it. The principal then had everyone sit at the wall and made us try to find out who it was like an Among Us meeting or something. SOMEHOW, NOBODY even SAW or HEARD me yeet it. And they didn’t really suspect me either, besides me just saying I put it on the table. So now I guess for some it is a grand mystery. But for me it’s just something I’m lucky I got away with. Sorry Carson.
#48
I found out who the singles in my area really were ?.
#49
One time I picked up a scam call that was obviously a scam and the entire time I listened and then at the end I simply said no and the guy started cussing at me in a different language.
Image credits: totodeath9000
#50
I've been seeing expensive escorts with some frequency. About 25 different girls in the past 3 years or so. Last week I set up an appointment for a nice girl and she calls me when im on my way over- hey would you like my friend to come too?
Well sure!
I've seen about 26 girls in the last 3 years at an average cost of ~$500 an hour.
I just doubled my salary for next year, too, and my company is taking off, so I expect my average price range to spike up to more the $1000 an hour range by next year.
I've maybe had two unsatisfying visits.
