Once again, we’ve completed another excruciatingly slow journey from one December to the next, exhausted and unrewarded for our trouble. Let’s take stock of what’s different: The average temperature has risen from Too Damn Hot to Even Damn Hotter. We now have audio proof of our Legislature’s moral bankruptcy. Donald Trump became the third president to be impeached by the U.S. House.
But much has stayed the same too. Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller is still saying wacky stuff on the Internet. Your in-laws will continue to complain about the quality of your perfectly good Christmas ham—much like the perennially overcompensating state representative Briscoe Cain will mewl about the imminent seizure of his AR-15s.
There was a lot to keep track of this year, and Texas’ underreported regions might have been off your radar. Around this time last year, I penned a listicle highlighting stories about rural Texas you may have missed. Readers flocked to it like so many chickens on a cricket. As my fellow countrykin in rural Texas are inclined to say: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. So I won’t. Instead, I’ll give you this gift—a view into the weird, sad, and sometimes funny world of rural Texas. I hope you enjoy it. And until we meet next in December 2020, one year older but none the wiser, happy holidays!
