In many cultures, in the old days, traditions dictated that the bride and groom could only see each other for the first time at the wedding - and in fact, they had very few options. Especially considering that divorces in ancient times were not welcomed, or were generally prohibited per se.
Today the situation is completely different - and each of us, when choosing a partner to date, is guided by some of our own criteria regarding appearance, behavior or everyday habits. Criteria, or prejudices - depending on how you look at it. And so, in this viral thread in the AskWomen community, women (and, I guess, men as well) answer the question: “What is the pettiest reason you won’t date anyone?”
More info: Reddit
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If you look at the statistics of responses, you can perhaps divide them all into two categories: sincere and superficial. Because, for example, how can you recognize a bad person literally on the first date, or even before it? Of course, there are many verbal and non-verbal signs, but still, only an incredibly insightful person can correctly assess someone after talking with them for just an hour or a couple of hours.
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You can also divide all the answers into the categories "Appearance" and "Social Rating", let's call it that. After all, nobody's perfect, and many of us initially judge people by purely physical attractiveness, which can completely overshadow even a person's negative social role. Just remember what Britney Spears once sang: "And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical..."
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“There is nothing strange about this, because a person is, first of all, a living being, and we perceive people around us not only with a cold mind,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “Despite centuries and millennia of development of our civilization, there is still a lot of primitive stuff in our bodies. And often this only hinders us.”
“After all, those personal traits that would have been very valuable in the era of ancient people, and which still resonate in our subconscious, today can carry an obvious negative and sometimes even criminal connotation. And then, after we enter relationships, we sometimes ask ourselves: 'What were we thinking?' However, mistakes are inevitable - it’s important to simply learn from them, both from our own and from others,” Irina summarizes.
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By the way, regarding learning from other people's mistakes - from this point of view, it is especially useful and interesting to read what other people consider a dealbreaker for a possible date and, who knows - maybe someone else's experience will really come in handy? So please feel free to scroll this list to the very end, and maybe add your own pettiest reasons to not start dating someone in the comments below. After all, exchanging experiences is no less great, isn't it?
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They have to be an animal lover. I can tell when someone doesn’t like animals and I couldn’t see myself with someone who doesn’t tolerate animalsAny run of the mill average Joe who thinks all women are golddiggers coming to take their $45,000 annual salary ... ?
Reeks of him watching too many podcasts from other dudes who also can't get laid.Deeply religious people. Nope.I won’t date someone who wants me to watch them play video games. They want to play video games while I read or do something else in the same room, that’s great. They want me to sit there while they play video games and I have to actually pay attention to their Fortnite kills or whatever, absolutely f*****g not. It gives strong “Mommy look at me!” energy that I find a complete turnoff from an adult man.I’ve had people give me s**t for this before, but picky eaters. And I don’t mean people who have allergies or other food issues. I can understand that. I mean grown a*s adults whose main course is chicken nuggets and French fries. Or make faces, or refuse to even taste a new dish. I have friends like that, but I don’t think I could date anyone long term.Using "your" when they should use "you're". That really bothers me.when a guy treats their mom or their sister(s) like s**t. i’m looking at our future boy, and you aint it.If they're really hard into social media. I know it's much more of a girl type of thing, but guys can be clout chasers too. Or just really into their phone in general. Put the f*****g thing down and genuinely talk to someone.If they don't use sheets or pillow cases on their bed. It's just gross. If I walk into a dudes room and all I see is a yellow stained mattress and a s****y blanket with no "it's laundry day" explanation, I'm outA beard that isn’t well-groomed. I need to see evidence that the edges are tended to, trimming is happening, whatever. Nothing turns me off like a pube-y beard.I refuse to date anyone that says I’m cute when I’m mad. They always play with my emotions for entertainment.Someone who is over the age of 28 and uses the phrase “ Saturday is for the boys”I don’t think I could date someone with a peanut allergy, I love peanut butter and don’t think I would want to live a peanut free life for anyonePeople who breathe or chew or drink loudly give me the biggest ick. I have severe misophonia.Omg I feel bad for men reading these posts but of course I have my own. I get really disappointed when men have a purebred dog they bought from a breeder. Tells me they have no compassion for animals, want to boast wealth/status, and they waste money on stupid s**t. This perception is particularly heightened for having brachiocephalic breeds like bulldogs.
I am very aware I might be taking it too far on the meaning of it but my brain works in mysterious ways. Please don’t hate me.I wouldn’t date someone who smokes pot or vapes ??♀️ or anyone super into astrologyAnyone who listens to Jordan PetersonNo jobI have synesthesia (letters/words/numbers have colors) and I had a hard time dating anyone whose first and last name didn’t look synesthetically aesthetic. Happily married to someone whose name has colors that harmonize lol.If we don’t have similar tastes in food. I once stopped seeing a guy because he didn’t like cheese.If their ideal home temperature is lower than 70 degrees. I’m very cold natured and have lived with someone hot natured.
I can’t do it again. I refuse to live under a blanket in my own house or argue because they lowered the thermostat and thought I wouldn’t notice. It just makes us incompatible because it’s too big a deal to me.As an adult, I seriously dated THREE guys named Dave. Someone named Dave would have to be an 11/10 for me to go this route again.Socks with sandals is my pettiest, but most strictly enforced, dealbreaker. I simply can’t be seen with you.Anyone with a solo mustache (no beard) is an immediate no. You look like such a goober, sorry.If they're not a cat person
I don't necessarily dislike dogs, but the people who have them are most often very dominant and selfish in my experienceBad teethThere’s a local bar that gives out smiley face stickers. Yeah idk it’s a thing I live in the middle of no where. Anyway, A lot of guys are covered them on their dating app profiles. Instant no. I don’t like party boys.
Also, if you have a “type” and I clearly don’t fit it it’s not happening.If they spell my name wrong in the initial messages on the dating app. It’s right there. Immediate unmatchWhen I was single many years ago, I learned not to date anyone who was new to my city. I wasn’t interested in becoming someone’s personal tour guide, who would then use all the fun things I showed them to eventually woo another person.As a native of Cleveland Ohio usa, I don't think I could ever date a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Lips too thin
Completely hairless body
Massive football fan
Certain jobs- police officer, army, teacherI absolutely refuse to date anyone who has the same name as any of my exes. For the most part, they’re all common names, so not ideal. I’m in a relationship though so hopefully won’t be an issue again ?Omg. I have a list. But here are my top ones. He has Bad hygiene. He has never lived alone and his parents do everything for him. He is controlling or he has to be right on everything. He is vegetarian or a vegan. Specially a vegan. He refers to himself as alpha. He is a mommas boy. Smokes or is an alcoholic. Has cats and that’s mostly because I’m allergic.This list includes people who I won’t swipe on on dating apps but for me it’s:
-Lawyers. Naturally argumentative and I feel like they’d have a leg up if we got married and divorced.
-Guys who have fish or golf photos. The fish people know why, guys with golf photos have historically been too full of themselves for me.
-If their instagram handle is on their profile. I don’t have one and have no interest in just giving you more followers.
-Dog owners. Too much time needs to be dedicated to their dogs. Can never sleep at my house. etc. I’ve done it in the past and it was majorly inconvenient and annoying. I’m also just not a dog person and don’t want them all over me.
-Family member names
-Smokes pot/cigs. I don’t and people make it their personality. I also HATE the smell
